* Secretary: “My boyfriend was pushing a car and the jerk braked and my boyfriend suffered a major injury. He had to have surgery to repair his shoulder. He got a big ol’ scar.”
\nTurning to me, she says with a smile: “Never help anyone!”
\nMy friend laughs. “Don’t worry. That’s not a problem for Luke.”<\/p>\n
* I love how our national women’s soccer teams tastefully puts on make-up (at least the straight ones) before every game.<\/p>\n
* Is there an app that will stop my computer from ever showing me pictures of two dudes kissing on the lips?<\/p>\n
* Stating my various forms of emotional addiction wouldn’t go over too well in Tannum Sands, Australia.<\/p>\n
* If you see a friend who’s been punched in the face by his wife, is it OK to say, “I wonder what she looks like”?<\/p>\n
* I was explaining to my brother in Tannum Sands Sunday that half the people I know in LA are artists struggling to make a living from their art (and are in various 12-step groups). Not many such persons in outback Australia.<\/p>\n
* Our eyes connected and we shared a big smile. I wonder if she’s Jewish?<\/p>\n
* I’ve ended up making fun of every group I’ve ever joined.<\/p>\n
* Some kids next door are watching the Futurama cartoon, which has some great dialogue, such as:
\nBloke A: “I just want to be friends.”
\nBloke B: “I don’t need friends. I need a sex change operation now!”<\/p>\n
* Woman in Futurama to tranny bloke: “Do you promise to get out of my gender and stay out?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
* Secretary: “My boyfriend was pushing a car and the jerk braked and my boyfriend suffered a major injury. He had to have surgery to repair his shoulder. He got a big ol’ scar.” Turning to me, she says with … Continue reading