{"id":671,"date":"2007-08-06T11:32:06","date_gmt":"2007-08-06T18:20:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=671"},"modified":"2007-12-08T15:39:19","modified_gmt":"2007-12-08T22:27:19","slug":"europeans-heighten-threat-levels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=671","title":{"rendered":"Europeans heighten threat levels"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>From Reuters:<\/p>\n<p>The English are feeling the pinch in relation to  recent terrorist threats and have raised their  security level from &ldquo;Miffed&rdquo; to &ldquo;Peeved.&rdquo; Soon,  though, security levels may be raised yet again to  &ldquo;Irritated&rdquo; or even &ldquo;A Bit Cross.&rdquo; Londoners have not  been &ldquo;A Bit Cross&rdquo; since the blitz began in 1940 and  tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been  re-categorized from &ldquo;Tiresome&rdquo; to &ldquo;A Bloody Nuisance.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>The last time the British issued &ldquo;A Bloody Nuisance&rdquo;  warning level was during the great fire of 1666.<\/p>\n<p>Also, the French government announced yesterday that  it has raised its terror alert level from &ldquo;Run&rdquo; to  &ldquo;Hide.&rdquo; The only two higher levels in France are  &ldquo;Collaborate&rdquo; and &ldquo;Surrender.&rdquo; The rise was  precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France&rsquo;s  white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the  country&rsquo;s military capability.<\/p>\n<p>It&rsquo;s not only the English and French who are on a  heightened level of alert.<\/p>\n<p>Italy has increased the alert level from &ldquo;Shout Loudly  and Excitedly&rdquo; to &ldquo;Elaborate Military Posturing.&rdquo; Two  more levels remain: &ldquo;Ineffective Combat Operations&rdquo;  and &ldquo;Change Sides.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>The Germans also increased their alert state from  &ldquo;Disdainful Arrogance&rdquo; to &ldquo;Dress in Uniform and Sing  Marching Songs.&rdquo; They also have two higher levels:  &ldquo;Invade a Neighbor&rdquo; and &ldquo;Lose.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as  usual, and the only threat they are worried about is  NATO pulling out of Brussels.<\/p>\n<p>The Spanish are all excited to see their new  submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed  subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can  get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.<\/p>\n<p><!--adsense--><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From Reuters: The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from &ldquo;Miffed&rdquo; to &ldquo;Peeved.&rdquo; Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to &ldquo;Irritated&rdquo; or even &ldquo;A Bit Cross.&rdquo; &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=671\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43,171],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-671","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-satire","category-terror"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/671","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=671"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/671\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=671"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=671"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=671"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}