{"id":6694,"date":"2008-10-27T20:44:25","date_gmt":"2008-10-28T04:44:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=6694"},"modified":"2008-11-25T07:58:30","modified_gmt":"2008-11-25T15:58:30","slug":"i-return-to-therapy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=6694","title":{"rendered":"I Return To Therapy"},"content":{"rendered":"

I left therapy because of financial issues in late 2001.<\/p>\n

I went back tonight. All the drama surrounding my latest shul expulsion has been dragging me down. I feel like the world is coming down on my head.<\/p>\n

I’m only paying $25 a session for my therapy. It’s all I can afford.<\/p>\n

I had a good session tonight.<\/p>\n

My non-Jewish male therapist was sympathetic when I told him how I got expelled from my shul for outing an 18 year old seminarian-blogger-chick<\/a> and then loudly complaining about my suspension on my blog so that now it looks like I’ll never get back in.<\/p>\n

He asked why I kept putting myself in situations where I was likely to get expelled. I explained to him I loved Orthodox Judaism, how it immeasurably enriched my life, it was the best decision I ever made (I’ve never asked God to make me a doormat so rabbis can walk on me), but I need to be free to write what I see as the truth about public affairs. I know that freedom to write and [the way] Orthodoxy [is practiced today] are incompatible but I won’t quit trying to square that circle. It’s exciting! Those are two things equally important to me — tell the truth, belong to an Orthodox community.<\/p>\n

"I can get back in if I close down lukeford.net and blog on another site where my rabbi will be my editor," I say.<\/p>\n

"How likely is that?" asked my therp.<\/p>\n

"Not so likely."<\/p>\n

Joe emails:<\/p>\n

I know it had nothing to do with… but with that girl you exposed. I think you accomplish much more with with your honest thoughts about orthodoxy and the community than your silly interviews. I think you should expand your horizons from just Pico-Robertson to the entire city including Hancock Park and the Valley – the real bastions of the ultra-orthodox. There’s quite a bit to expose in those communities and they are afraid that you are going to put them under the microscope. By the way, I think Amy Klein<\/a>’s treatment of you has been disgusting. You created her by feeding her information and she repays you in the NY Times. I always thought the two of you would end up getting together – it’s like you were made for each other.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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I left therapy because of financial issues in late 2001. I went back tonight. All the drama surrounding my latest shul expulsion has been dragging me down. I feel like the world is coming down on my head. I’m only … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,21],"tags":[29789,29989,13837,2551,1132,671],"class_list":["post-6694","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-orthodoxy","category-personal","tag-amy-klein","tag-hancock-park","tag-male-therapist","tag-orthodox-community","tag-orthodox-judaism","tag-shul"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t