{"id":63904,"date":"2015-02-20T13:23:47","date_gmt":"2015-02-20T21:23:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=63904"},"modified":"2015-02-20T14:56:06","modified_gmt":"2015-02-20T22:56:06","slug":"comic-doug-stanhope-on-the-jews","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=63904","title":{"rendered":"Comic Doug Stanhope On The Jews"},"content":{"rendered":"

Doug<\/a>: Jesus died for your sins? How does one affect the other? I hit myself in the foot with a shovel, how does that affect your mortgage? If there is a correlation, why would you die for someone’s sins? Your sins are the only interesting things about you. You should wear your sins on your sleeve. <\/p>\n

I’ve got Jew-hating stuff to follow. <\/p>\n

I wrote a bunch of Jew-hating stuff. I didn’t intend to. I was at the Fringe festival in Scotland. I’m there in August… I was quoted out of context, “I hate the Jews.” Which sounds anti-Semitic. <\/p>\n

I had said it in a fun-loving happy way. There was no animosity. It was just some aside when I was rambling about Mel Gibson. <\/p>\n

I’ve been doing this for 17 years. I could fill three CDs with just the Christian bashing… I’ll do more Scientology bashing once I have a stronger legal team… I just realized I’ve never done any Jew bashing. <\/p>\n

In religion bashing, Jews don’t get f***ed with because they don’t have the aggressive recruiting… Because they have that Holocaust sympathy they can surf on for the next 15 years until the last survivor dies or the History Channel goes out of business.<\/p>\n

Jews don’t have the history of atrocities that other religions have because they lost all the time…<\/p>\n

F*** the Jews just for being a religion at all. You are as complicit as the rest of them in the retardation of human intellectual progress. My brother’s a Jew. F*** him too. I hate him too.<\/p>\n

He converted because the only humorless c*** he met in his life who would f*** him twice, he had to cave in and marry her because he’s afraid to die alone but he doesn’t mind settling for less and they’re in a passionless swamp of a relationship. They teach their kids that s***. Her parents wouldn’t have him if he wasn’t converted to Judaism because they’re racist and there’s another reason to f*** the Jews because I don’t like racists. <\/p>\n

Mostly I hate the Jews because they’re wicked annoying. Of all the religions I’ve been around, Jews have the tendency to throw their religion into whatever conversation you’re having. Any topic, whatever the subject, oh, that’s funny because I’m a Jew. I have a typical Jewish mother. Did I say that I grew up Jewish? My Jew family…and Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew…<\/p>\n

It’s like people who are really into their astrological sign and they have to pitch that into every conversation you have…<\/p>\n

“I’m a Jew, we naturally carry a lot of guilt. It’s a Jewish thing.” No, it’s a you thing. If you have guilt, maybe you’re weak of character? Maybe you’re guilty of something? <\/p>\n

We all come from apes, but I don’t throw ape into every conversation… Did I just splatter you with feces? I’m sorry, I have a strong ape upbringing. <\/p>\n

Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people that you’ve never met and all of a sudden you take pride in accomplishments you had nothing to do with… Like Americans who say, ‘F*** the French! If we hadn’t saved their ass in two world wars, they’d be speaking German right now.’ Oh, was that us? Was that me and you? Did we save the French? I know I blacked out a little bit after that fourth shot of Jagermeister last night, but did we save the French?<\/p>\n