{"id":637,"date":"2007-08-03T14:30:38","date_gmt":"2007-08-03T21:18:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=637"},"modified":"2011-01-27T13:24:05","modified_gmt":"2011-01-27T21:24:05","slug":"hard-luck","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=637","title":{"rendered":"Hard Luck"},"content":{"rendered":"

An old friend calls. "My mom didn’t read the whole thing. She just read a little and called me<\/a>."<\/p>\n

Luke: "’Oh son, to think that we had that man in our house. Let’s burn the sheets. You’re not to play with that dirty boy anymore.’"<\/p>\n

Friend: "She liked you showering in the house."<\/p>\n

Luke: "As a public service."<\/p>\n

Friend: "Has your phone been ringing off the hook?"<\/p>\n

Luke: "No. Just a few calls. It’ll be interesting to go to shul tonight."<\/p>\n

Friend: "They don’t know?"<\/p>\n

Luke: "I don’t know how much people know about me but I’ll find out tonight."<\/p>\n

Friend: "Now they do."<\/p>\n

"Do you think you’ll get tossed?"<\/p>\n

Luke: "No. I hope they appreciate my inner beauty and ignore my body of work."<\/p>\n

"So what’s new with you? How many different ailments you got this week?"<\/p>\n

Friend: "It was good talking to you."<\/p>\n

"I have an important question for you. I thought you’d be the one to call.<\/p>\n

"Wait, that’s my mom…<\/p>\n

"She sends her best.<\/p>\n

"I know a guy who just became homeless and I was wondering if you have any suggestions. He doesn’t have a van to sleep in."<\/p>\n

Luke: He should hook up with an older woman.<\/p>\n

Friend: "He slept in my car last night in the parking lot. It’s all mashed up."<\/p>\n

Luke: "Is he mentally ill?"<\/p>\n

Friend: "He’s not a good budgeter of money. He works in film distribution. He’s putting together a business."<\/p>\n

Luke: "He should call Jewish Family Services."<\/p>\n

Friend: "He’s not Jewish. He’s an atheist."<\/p>\n

Luke: "He should call Atheist Family Services. They’re great. But they make you listen to a sermon before they give you soup."<\/p>\n

Friend: "He was staying at the Beverly Regent. Then at the TravelLodge. Then the street. He had a heart attack and ended up at Cedars Sinai yesterday."<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An old friend calls. "My mom didn’t read the whole thing. She just read a little and called me." Luke: "’Oh son, to think that we had that man in our house. Let’s burn the sheets. You’re not to play … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-637","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t