{"id":6368,"date":"2008-10-15T19:00:51","date_gmt":"2008-10-16T03:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=6368"},"modified":"2008-10-15T19:00:51","modified_gmt":"2008-10-16T03:00:51","slug":"i-dont-need-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=6368","title":{"rendered":"I Don’t Need Them"},"content":{"rendered":"

I had some painful surgery recently.<\/p>\n

It was entirely elective.<\/p>\n

I decided to get rid of a couple parts of my body.<\/p>\n

I handed them over on Monday.<\/p>\n

"Here, please keep these for me," I said. "I don’t really need them anymore. They’re just getting in the way. They drive me to do foolish things. Oy, how I shame us before the goyim. Oy, oy, oy. You can give them back to me on my chupa day."<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I had some painful surgery recently. It was entirely elective. I decided to get rid of a couple parts of my body. I handed them over on Monday. "Here, please keep these for me," I said. "I don’t really need … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13589],"tags":[13591,1336,1208,13590],"class_list":["post-6368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction","tag-foolish-things","tag-goyim","tag-oy","tag-painful-surgery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6368","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6368"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6368\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6370,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6368\/revisions\/6370"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6368"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6368"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6368"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}