{"id":6368,"date":"2008-10-15T19:00:51","date_gmt":"2008-10-16T03:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=6368"},"modified":"2008-10-15T19:00:51","modified_gmt":"2008-10-16T03:00:51","slug":"i-dont-need-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=6368","title":{"rendered":"I Don’t Need Them"},"content":{"rendered":"

I had some painful surgery recently.<\/p>\n

It was entirely elective.<\/p>\n

I decided to get rid of a couple parts of my body.<\/p>\n

I handed them over on Monday.<\/p>\n

"Here, please keep these for me," I said. "I don’t really need them anymore. They’re just getting in the way. They drive me to do foolish things. Oy, how I shame us before the goyim. Oy, oy, oy. You can give them back to me on my chupa day."<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I had some painful surgery recently. It was entirely elective. I decided to get rid of a couple parts of my body. I handed them over on Monday. "Here, please keep these for me," I said. "I don’t really need … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13589],"tags":[13591,1336,1208,13590],"class_list":["post-6368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction","tag-foolish-things","tag-goyim","tag-oy","tag-painful-surgery"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t