It was our first time out. She was secular. I was Orthodox. We had met at a Shabbat dinner that Spring. Now we were having a weeknight meal at a kosher restaurant in 90035.<\/p>\n
After the food arrived and we were stuck in, she said, “I’m very normal. I don’t do anal.”<\/p>\n
We only had one more date, but during our brief time together, I think I managed to say to her about eight times, “I know. You’ve very normal. You don’t do anal.”<\/p>\n
She’s now married.<\/p>\n
As the Jew Norman Mailer said<\/a>: “I will make one general observation: It’s very dangerous to stick it up a woman’s ass. It tends to make them more promiscuous…. A woman doesn’t want it up the ass because she’s doing her best to be faithful to that dull pup she’s got for a man, and she knows if it blasts into the center of her stubbornness, that’s the end of it. She won’t be able to hold her fidelity any longer.”<\/p>\n Ever since then that memorable night, I have thought it best to meet Jewish women for coffee and walks on the beach so they could disqualify themselves early on before I spring for the big meal. <\/p>\n In my experience, Jewish first dates tend to be a little wilder than Seventh-Day Adventist first dates.<\/p>\n In The Wolf of Wall Street<\/a>, one clue that the movie is about Jews is when the father Max tells Jordan he never minded the bush on a woman.<\/p>\n * This very naughty Jewish girl tells me: “The more I think about it, the more I think I need to raise my non-existent children orthodox.”<\/p>\n “Is that why our religion is so strict? Because we are sluts left to our own devices?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It was our first time out. She was secular. I was Orthodox. We had met at a Shabbat dinner that Spring. Now we were having a weeknight meal at a kosher restaurant in 90035. After the food arrived and we … Continue reading