{"id":57129,"date":"2014-09-02T12:53:32","date_gmt":"2014-09-02T20:53:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=57129"},"modified":"2014-09-02T12:53:32","modified_gmt":"2014-09-02T20:53:32","slug":"14-reasons-for-a-jewish-boy-to-marry-a-jewish-girl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=57129","title":{"rendered":"14 Reasons For A Jewish Boy To Marry A Jewish Girl"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let’s parse the reasons: 1. They make the best food.
\nChaim Amalek writes: But what should he do if no good Jewish girls are willing to marry him?
\nLet’s parse the reasons<\/a>: 1. They make the best food.
\nNot so! Maybe the best kosher food, what what about Italian women?
\n2. You will never need to make a decision again.
\nNot a reason to marry a Jewess.
\n3. Jewish wives are incredibly devoted to their husbands.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s right, you\u2019re her constant number one\u2026 which she\u2019s happy to prove, by calling to \u201ccheck in\u201d 300 times a day. She\u2019ll always champion your cause and she\u2019ll always be right there supporting you in whatever you need.<\/p>\n

She excels at social networking, and you are cast in a glowing light because of her. Hey, every good Patriarch was married to a great Matriarch.
\n4. She\u2019s ambitious for you.<\/p>\n

She truly cares about your happiness and overall success. So, you won\u2019t face nagging when you come home late from a business dinner (but I can\u2019t promise you won\u2019t be guilt-tripped; she IS a Jewish wife after all.)<\/p>\n

She\u2019s always on her best behavior at company events, to ensure you get the recognition you deserve and achieve your full potential.<\/p>\n

Honestly, if Moses had just sent his wife, she would have charmed Pharaoh into giving the Jews freedom wayyy earlier. #letherpeoplego
\n5. She keeps herself in shape.<\/p>\n

Much like the 10 Commandments, she treats trips to the gym, spa and hairdresser as things to simply live by. Unfortunately, you may get fatter and balder with age and her cooking, but she appears to age backwards.<\/p>\n

With every Jewish couple I know, the question is generally, \u201cHow did he get her?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her body is as hairless as you are hairy. What we lack in naturally skinny thighs, we make up for in effort and abusing your Amex to physically enhance ourselves.
\n6. She knows having sex is a Mitzvah.<\/p>\n

Yes. On EVERY Shabbat and some festivals too.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s also turned on by a man who can lay Tefillin and say Kiddush, so brush up.
\n7. Her Jew-dar is spot on.<\/p>\n

Yes, you may be better at the stock market than she is (Bull and bear what?), but can you tell by one quick glance under your oversized sunglasses, which family sunbathing by the pool is Jewish?<\/p>\n

Because she can, and she\u2019ll ensure you\u2019re drinking Manischewitz with the new Jews before you\u2019ve even noticed his oversized Chai necklace. L\u2019Chaim!<\/p>\n

If it weren\u2019t for her, you would have literally no friends. Know that if you get divorced (God forbid), they all side with her.
\n8. She will idolize your sons for you.<\/p>\n

In the same way as your mom made it abundantly clear you were attractive, smart and adorable, your wife will be sure to pour as much love and devotion onto your sons. And daughters, but really, it\u2019s the sons she\u2019ll be telling are too good for every woman who comes their way.
\n9. She gets your humor.<\/p>\n

And not many people do, so you should really be grateful that she laughs at your jokes, despite having heard them a hundred times, and understands all your cultural references.<\/p>\n

Baruch Hashem, such is the beauty of marrying within the tribe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let’s parse the reasons: 1. They make the best food. Chaim Amalek writes: But what should he do if no good Jewish girls are willing to marry him? Let’s parse the reasons: 1. They make the best food. Not so! … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-57129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jews"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57129","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=57129"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57129\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":57130,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57129\/revisions\/57130"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=57129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=57129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=57129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}