{"id":5643,"date":"2008-09-28T17:40:51","date_gmt":"2008-09-29T01:40:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=5643"},"modified":"2008-09-29T10:03:46","modified_gmt":"2008-09-29T18:03:46","slug":"i-didnt-go-to-the-flag-raising-at-the-israeli-consulate-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=5643","title":{"rendered":"I Didn’t Go To The Flag Raising At The Israeli Consulate Today"},"content":{"rendered":"

I hear it was a two hour lovefest.<\/p>\n

I went instead to the West Hollywood Book Fair to brush up on the latest developments in queer lit.<\/p>\n

I sat in on a memoir writing workshop.<\/p>\n

There was a loud blonde tranny who wrecked the class.<\/p>\n

I was about to leave when a tall beautiful blonde came in and sat next to me.<\/p>\n

"Torah must wait," I decided.<\/p>\n

After giving her mine, I got her name — Amy Karl<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I immediately Googled her on my Blackberry and discovered she was an actress. She’s finished a memoir and she’s shopping it.<\/p>\n

Whenever I get down in the dumps, I like to feast my eyes on a beautiful woman. It revives my neshama so I can go back to absorption in the sacred text.<\/p>\n

Here are some great photos of Amy from the 2003 Stuff magazine party for the Off-Broadway play "Pieces of Ass<\/a>."<\/p>\n

I’m real sorry I missed this theatrical production. Sometimes it is only such sublime art that can tame my savage beast.<\/p>\n

Our teacher, Diana Raab, gave us an assignment to write two paragraphs about a turning point in our lives.<\/p>\n

When Amy got up for an inspirational potty break, I fled to meet a social obligation (watch the Dallas Cowboys lose).<\/p>\n

Looking back, if I had known then what I know now (having seen her "Pieces of Ass" photos on my desktop), I would’ve talked to her about the value of tzniut<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Dear Amy, if you are reading this, and I know you are, please know that I am not a stalker<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I hear it was a two hour lovefest. I went instead to the West Hollywood Book Fair to brush up on the latest developments in queer lit. I sat in on a memoir writing workshop. There was a loud blonde … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[10685,13122,13124,13125,13126,13123],"class_list":["post-5643","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-dallas-cowboys","tag-diana-raab","tag-savage-beast","tag-social-obligation","tag-stuff-magazine","tag-teacher-diana"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5643","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5643"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5643\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5680,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5643\/revisions\/5680"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5643"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5643"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5643"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}