{"id":52909,"date":"2014-03-11T09:03:45","date_gmt":"2014-03-11T17:03:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=52909"},"modified":"2014-03-11T09:21:51","modified_gmt":"2014-03-11T17:21:51","slug":"bad-manners","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=52909","title":{"rendered":"Bad Manners"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I often get phone messages from people who don&#8217;t leave their name or only leave their first name. They&#8217;re also unclear about why they want me to call them back. I get generic messages about, &#8220;I wanted to talk to you about an article on your website.&#8221; Now that leaves me a good reason to call back. <\/p>\n<p>I was raised that when you leave a phone message to a stranger, you leave your full name and you state why you are calling.<\/p>\n<p>I had a Skype interview scheduled for 9pm Monday. I blew off a class I normally go to at that time, and blew off a friend I was going to see at that class because I had made a commitment to do something and I didn&#8217;t want to play around with my interview subject and try to reschedule. When I emailed the guy at 9:01 pm, he said, &#8220;I just got in sorry, can we do tomorrow during the day?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>When you have a commitment to do something at a certain time and you know you can&#8217;t do it then, you need to let all those affected know in advance. If the guy had given me even ten minutes notice, it would have cleared me to go to my class.<\/p>\n<p>I fired off an angry email: &#8220;I skipped a 9pm Monday class I normally go to so that I could do this scheduled interview at the time  you suggested. If we schedule another interview (I can&#8217;t do it during the day during the week), what are the odds you&#8217;ll show or am I just wasting my time here?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The guy replied he&#8217;d pass on our interview. I felt like an idiot and I didn&#8217;t sleep well. <\/p>\n<p>I was 15 minutes late Monday evening to a Skype interview I scheduled for 7:10 p.m., so at 7:10 p.m., when I knew I would be late, I let the guy know, and when I finally got on to Skype at 7:25 p.m., I made a profuse and specific apology for being late. Just saying &#8220;Sorry&#8221; doesn&#8217;t cut it. You need to say exactly why you are sorry. <\/p>\n<p>I have a friend who says hyperbolic things on my Facebook. I&#8217;ve repeatedly asked him not to comment on my posts but he keeps doing it. He&#8217;s about to get blocked even though I know that will hurt him deeply. <\/p>\n<p>In 1996, I had a lunch interview with Ron Jeremy. After he was 30 minute late, I left. I guess he showed up a few minutes later. So we made a dinner appointment. Again he was about 40 minute late. This time I waited around. <\/p>\n<p>I have a good friend who&#8217;s infinitely patient with me. He notes that I&#8217;m very particular, particularly about time, and have a huge need to have everything on my terms. I was taken aback when first he noted this, but quickly realized he spoke the truth. <\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Unreliable&#8221; and &#8220;irresponsible&#8221; are about the worst things I say about people in my life for a time. I don&#8217;t deal well with this. I hate having my time stolen from me. I hate not being able to depend on someone. I&#8217;m mighty white on these points. I need to come to terms with loss being an inherent part of life, and this includes loss of time. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I often get phone messages from people who don&#8217;t leave their name or only leave their first name. They&#8217;re also unclear about why they want me to call them back. I get generic messages about, &#8220;I wanted to talk to &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=52909\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-52909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52909","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=52909"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52909\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":52920,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52909\/revisions\/52920"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=52909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=52909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=52909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}