{"id":50388,"date":"2013-08-18T17:18:37","date_gmt":"2013-08-19T01:18:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=50388"},"modified":"2013-08-18T17:18:37","modified_gmt":"2013-08-19T01:18:37","slug":"the-secure-are-the-salt-of-the-earth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=50388","title":{"rendered":"The Secure Are The Salt Of The Earth"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>From Amir Levine&#8217;s book <A HREF=\"http:\/\/www.attachedthebook.com\/\">ATTACHED<\/a>: The secure pick up emotional cues without getting emotionally reactive like the anxiously attached. Nor are they closed off like avoidants. They&#8217;re consistently the happiest people around, have the best relationships, and make those around them more secure.<\/p>\n<p>One sign you&#8217;re with an emotionally avoidant &#8212; they keep rhapsodizing about the perfection of the one who got away. Avoidants spend a great deal of time romanticizing a past relationship. It&#8217;s easier than dealing with the messy present. It&#8217;s a deactivating strategy to turn down your current relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Being avoidant is not a self-sufficient life, rather it is constant struggle to suppress our inherent attachment desires.<\/p>\n<p>Avoidants rarely look inward, and rarely seek or accept help. Thus, they rarely change.<\/p>\n<p>I found that the pain of romantic break-ups was cumulative (until I started learning my lessons in my 40s).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From Amir Levine&#8217;s book ATTACHED: The secure pick up emotional cues without getting emotionally reactive like the anxiously attached. Nor are they closed off like avoidants. They&#8217;re consistently the happiest people around, have the best relationships, and make those around &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=50388\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[210],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-50388","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50388","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=50388"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50388\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":50389,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50388\/revisions\/50389"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=50388"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=50388"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=50388"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}