Hi, my name is Luke and I\u2019m an addict. I\u2019m addicted to girls named Lisa. Lisas are born Jewish. I\u2019m a convert to Judaism. They\u2019re the real deal. I stumble. They know Hebrew. I know Aboriginal. They\u2019re little, I\u2019m big. Lisas have power. I feel powerless. Lisas make good money. I make crap money. Lisas have nice apartments and drive fast cars. I live in hovels and drive bombs. Lisas are educated. I dropped out of college. Lisas are busy, I spend time alone. Lisas are socially connected, I am isolated. Lisas go to weddings and bar mitzvahs and christenings. Lisas are active in organized charities. Lisas have high social status. Lisas wear high heels and short skirts and I wear jeans and t-shirts. <\/p>\n
Lisas say things like, \u201cIf you play your cards right, I\u2019ll take you to Palm Springs next weekend.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lisas say things like, \u201cIf you play your cards right, you can borrow my car while I\u2019m in Hawaii.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lisas say things like, \u201cI want to drive.\u201d<\/p>\n
Yeah, I make the number one mistake for AFCs — Average Frustrated Chumps — I put the Lisa on a pedestal. <\/p>\n
One day in 2010, about a year into our relationship, my girlfriend Lisa asks me, \u201cWhy do you keep going for girls who are emotionally unavailable?\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s such a painful question. It feels like a knife between my ribs. <\/p>\n
All of my Lisas are depressed like my step-mom. I\u2019m a doting nurturing boyfriend when I\u2019m not in the grip of my eroticized rage. I like to look after my Lisas and give them succor. I\u2019m nurturing. And my Lisas say in return, \u201cI don\u2019t think I\u2019d be with you if I wasn\u2019t so depressed.\u201d And then they add, \u201cYou can\u2019t say I wasn\u2019t honest.\u201d<\/p>\n
Great!<\/p>\n
And they don\u2019t return my phone calls! I hate that! I usually get one call back for every two messages I leave. I have to call and call, knowing that if they deign to pick up, there could be incredible rewards. They\u2019re always playing power games, they\u2019re always manipulating me so that I feel small. I\u2019m attracted to Lisas and they want to cut off my manhood. <\/p>\n
I go for girls who bring up the unresolved issues I have with my dad. They\u2019re righteous like him and busy and unavailable and dominant and manipulative and contemptuous.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi, my name is Luke and I\u2019m an addict. I\u2019m addicted to girls named Lisa. Lisas are born Jewish. I\u2019m a convert to Judaism. They\u2019re the real deal. I stumble. They know Hebrew. I know Aboriginal. They\u2019re little, I\u2019m big. … Continue reading