{"id":44994,"date":"2012-07-11T05:24:26","date_gmt":"2012-07-11T13:24:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=44994"},"modified":"2012-07-11T05:27:58","modified_gmt":"2012-07-11T13:27:58","slug":"perhaps-ill-smile-and-nod-more","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=44994","title":{"rendered":"Perhaps I&#8217;ll Smile And Nod More?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Since high school, I&#8217;ve found walking down the street a frequently uncomfortable situation when I see people I know walking towards me.<\/p>\n<p>Where am I supposed to look? Do I look in their eyes for 150 yards? <\/p>\n<p>I usually look off deliberately, artificially, and only acknowledge the person at the last moment.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t have this problem with close friends. It&#8217;s everyone else I know.<\/p>\n<p>When did this problem develop? I think it was when my family left Pacific Union College when I was in eighth grade. After this, I was no longer in the warm bosom of the Seventh-Adventist community. I&#8217;m not sure I&#8217;ve fully adjusted.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s my theory anyway. When we were all part of a tiny community, it was easy for me to look at everyone I knew in the face for as long as I wanted. Since then, I&#8217;ve been confused.<\/p>\n<p>So now I have a new resolution from my 12-step program &#8212; be a beacon of hope. Take a chance at smiling and nodding more. <\/p>\n<p>I have some serious intimacy issues. Whenever my boss gives me a choice between calling or emailing\/faxing, unless it is someone I know and like, I always choose to email or fax. When I have to get on the phone and I am not entirely clear what to do, I sometimes feel terrified as I stumble out to a complete stranger my vague instructions. As I wait online, I sometimes feel like I&#8217;m falling through space.<\/p>\n<p>And when my personal phone rings, I almost never answer it unless I know and like the person calling. Everyone else can wait. <\/p>\n<p>A bloke in my 12-step program checked in almost three weeks ago. I&#8217;ve yet to return his call. And I like the guy. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Since high school, I&#8217;ve found walking down the street a frequently uncomfortable situation when I see people I know walking towards me. Where am I supposed to look? Do I look in their eyes for 150 yards? I usually look &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=44994\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[26369,21],"tags":[22188,20032,29477,3696,29478,29479],"class_list":["post-44994","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-addiction","category-personal","tag-adventist-community","tag-falling-through-space","tag-intimacy-issues","tag-personal-phone","tag-tiny-community","tag-uncomfortable-situation"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44994","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=44994"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44994\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":44998,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44994\/revisions\/44998"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=44994"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=44994"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=44994"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}