{"id":44839,"date":"2012-07-06T08:30:02","date_gmt":"2012-07-06T16:30:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=44839"},"modified":"2013-01-24T23:16:31","modified_gmt":"2013-01-25T07:16:31","slug":"step-three-of-the-twelve-steps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=44839","title":{"rendered":"Step Three Of The Twelve Steps"},"content":{"rendered":"

I decide to turn my life and my will over to God.<\/em><\/p>\n

Step One<\/a> Step Two<\/a> Step Four<\/a><\/p>\n

This has been one of my blocks to taking 12-steps seriously. Turning your life over to God? That sounds Christian. Oy vey!<\/p>\n

But guess what? I changed religions, changed locations, changed professions, changed girlfriends, and my demons were not diminished. My addictions have so perverted my life that I have to empty myself and let go and let God, even if that sounds Christian. <\/p>\n

It’s humbling to come back in my old age to an idea propounded throughout my childhood by my preacher daddy.<\/p>\n

By the actuarial tables, I’m closer to death than to my birth.<\/p>\n

I could use my prayer time to ask God to help me to stay free of addictive behavior.<\/p>\n

Last night, I went to two James Bond films at LACMA and I met a woman named Christine who was slim but wore a low-cut shirt and a bra that made her look like the most voluptuous woman in the world. <\/p>\n

Raised in Berkeley, she’d only once been inside a church (for a wedding) and never inside a synagogue.<\/p>\n

Cleavage drives me crazy. Oy, I need to call my sponsor.<\/p>\n

Instead of just saying my prayers by rote, I might actually try talking to God about what I’m battling. <\/p>\n

Everybody I’ve known well I’ve exploited to satisfy my addictive needs. Even Dennis Prager.<\/p>\n

I look back and I see that I’m a user and a manipulator. And I can’t simply will myself to stop doing that.<\/p>\n

It’s imprinted in me that the breast will run dry and I have to suck every drop I can get right now.<\/p>\n

Wow, I’ve pretty much used everybody I’ve known. Every rabbi. Every shul.<\/p>\n

Wow, I just wrinkled my brain, man.<\/p>\n

What are my favorite ways of manipulating people? Tell them that they’ve changed my life for the good. That makes ’em want to adopt me.<\/p>\n

Let them feel like they’ve made an impact on me. Then let them buy me dinner. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I decide to turn my life and my will over to God. Step One Step Two Step Four This has been one of my blocks to taking 12-steps seriously. Turning your life over to God? That sounds Christian. Oy vey! … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[26369,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-44839","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-addiction","category-personal"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t