{"id":43696,"date":"2012-05-16T17:21:15","date_gmt":"2012-05-17T01:21:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=43696"},"modified":"2012-05-20T21:10:56","modified_gmt":"2012-05-21T05:10:56","slug":"my-false-world-of-fantasy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=43696","title":{"rendered":"I Live In Fantasy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>With the exception of my best friend, the Lakewood Rav, my favorite poster in Torah Talks over the past two years has been &#8220;Garden Fun.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>From her sensitive perceptive remarks and thoughtful little gifts, I could tell she was a woman. Sometimes we chatted privately. She never got sexual with me to my disappointment. Later, she said she was married.<\/p>\n<p>So I kept things on a holy plane. I loved her writing in the chat room and often rhapsodized about how I wanted to marry a woman just like her.<\/p>\n<p>Now I realize that this poster is a male friend of mine on Facebook who I&#8217;ve never met. This guy on Facebook often did the same sensitive kind things for me that the chat room poster did but I never thought twice about him because I assumed he had a penis (and I assumed by his understated kindness that he was a Christian) while she was the embodiment of womanhood (who said she was a secular Jew).<\/p>\n<p>Now I still want a woman like this poster, but one without a penis.<\/p>\n<p>I was convinced she was a woman because she was always appropriate, she was never arrogant or showing off, and she was always thoughtful and wise and considerate. What straight guy is like that?<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m so glad she\/he never lured me into cybersex.<\/p>\n<p>Now that I&#8217;ve outed my favorite poster, the chat room will turn into a barnyard brawl and no decent woman will come within a mile of it. <\/p>\n<p>Hank Rose emails: <\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Luke:<\/p>\n<p>If your personality still ruins your chances for love<br \/>\nand contentment, your self deprecating woe is me<br \/>\nshtick is the journalism of the passive agressive<br \/>\nmalcontent. It attracts web heads who get off on<br \/>\nwitnessing literary accidents of isolated bloggers who<br \/>\ninsulate themselves from real life by living through<br \/>\ntheir media  persona when social reality eludes them.<\/p>\n<p>You still have the classic air sign affliction. You live<br \/>\nin your head in a world of ideas, thoughts, words<br \/>\nand lack of action. You ego trades on what fame<br \/>\nyou have but you exchanged a X forum of 100%<br \/>\nfor a moral audience of 1%. Yet this hasn&#8217;t secured<br \/>\nyou happiness in middle age, because too much<br \/>\nhonesty about who you are alienates you from<br \/>\nthose in whose graces you wish to be accepted. <\/p>\n<p>The blessings of wisdom, love and appreciation<br \/>\nfor the simple things in life are lost on what loveless<br \/>\nloners cannot grasp. Which is that one cannot live<br \/>\nthrough idiot boxes, sound bites and printed words<br \/>\nalone. Without human touch and contact, there is no<br \/>\nreal living. Only the media babysitting of electronics<br \/>\nand keyboard vanity for actual flesh and blood union. <\/p>\n<p>Cerebral materialist idealism sentiment is not what<br \/>\ngets us into the next world. LOVE IS. You can&#8217;t have<br \/>\nphysical orgasms or emotional goosebumps with<br \/>\nwords. They are your living, not your loving. Stop<br \/>\nbeing afraid of life and therputing your fears with<br \/>\nyour blog. Go out and meet someone without words<br \/>\ngetting in the way. For someone who lives by the<br \/>\nword, too much thought and verbiage is the enemy<br \/>\nof action. Air signs need to realize this or go crazy.<\/p>\n<p>There, I just saved you a session with your shrink!<\/p>\n<p>So Sincerely,<\/p>\n<p>The Artist Formerly Blown As<br \/>\nSurvivor of Blowbiz<\/p>\n<p>PS Learning to readjust or temper love&#8217;s<br \/>\nfailures boils down to letting go<br \/>\nof perfectionism in one&#8217;s social<br \/>\ndealings. And I stopped being a<br \/>\nperfectionist when my mother left<br \/>\nwhen I was two. If I wound up in<br \/>\nporn because of it, then my amorous<br \/>\nabilities helped make the transition<br \/>\nfrom lust to love and real caring<br \/>\nwhen I lost my dad. It&#8217;s funny how<br \/>\nbeing in touch with your mortality<br \/>\nmakes you let go of angst, grow up<br \/>\nand realize`what matters in life.<\/p>\n<p>There were women I could lust after<br \/>\nor talk well with. But they weren&#8217;t<br \/>\nladies I could share my life with. I<br \/>\nfound out what I wanted in a woman most<br \/>\nwas a good heart combined with a sweet<br \/>\ninnocence. Intellectual pursuits tend<br \/>\nto lead to argument and stress. For the<br \/>\nsmarter one is, the more one is prone<br \/>\nto depression or trouble. So I picked a<br \/>\npolar opposite happy go lucky female to<br \/>\ncompliment my wise ass air sign head case.<\/p>\n<p>I couldn&#8217;t have given up porn and wound<br \/>\nup with someone of similar lost innocence.<br \/>\nWhen opposites attract, a lady with a<br \/>\nchildlike innocence will love you for who<br \/>\nyou are without judgment. So find your<br \/>\nEve before she bites into the apple of<br \/>\nknowledge. Instead, be that apple and she<br \/>\nwill respect you for teaching her the ways<br \/>\nof the world. And by the time she matures<br \/>\nto a more adult mindset, she will belong<br \/>\nto you and the power of love will supercede<br \/>\nall mutual flaws and human imperfections.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>With the exception of my best friend, the Lakewood Rav, my favorite poster in Torah Talks over the past two years has been &#8220;Garden Fun.&#8221; From her sensitive perceptive remarks and thoughtful little gifts, I could tell she was a &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=43696\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-43696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43696","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=43696"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43696\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43807,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43696\/revisions\/43807"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=43696"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=43696"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=43696"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}