My mother died just before I turned four.<\/p>\n
I’ve often wondered why she didn’t leave me a note<\/a> to read upon turning 18 or upon getting married or upon some momentous occasion in my life.<\/p>\n If she had written something for me then, I imagine it would’ve gone something like this:<\/p>\n I’m sorry I haven’t been here the last 14 years. I’m sorry you got passed around while I was sick. I’m sorry you didn’t grow up normal. <\/p>\n Despite these problems, I know that you’ve grown up with more love and more direction than most people. You’ve been taught about God and what He expects from you. You may be happy or you may be sad, but your obligations to other people don’t change. <\/p>\n You’re a lot like your father. You find it easy to dedicate yourself to your work. Don’t let the thrill of ideas send you riding rough-shod over those not so ideologically inclined. <\/p>\n Do something beautiful for God.<\/p>\n Your loving mother,<\/p>\n Gwen <\/p>\n JANE EMAILS: <\/p>\n Luke,<\/p>\n It sounds like you are going through a rough time. As a mother and woman who was very ill, I am saddened You need to forgive her for what is, in your eyes, her short coming. Why didn’t she write a note\/ letter in a bottle? But I know she wrote you and still does. Not with paper and pen Thanks for the photos. Its unbelievable how much you look alike. It took me many years and training as a therapist to finally And so, dear friend, I wish you well. It’s not an easy time for you My mother died just before I turned four. I’ve often wondered why she didn’t leave me a note to read upon turning 18 or upon getting married or upon some momentous occasion in my life. If she had written something … Continue reading
\nPlease don’t be hard on yourself and torture yourself.
\nYou are good person, very sharp and you don’t know what’s
\nwaiting for you around the corner <\/p>\n
\nby your unresolved issues with your own mom.<\/p>\n
\nShe did her best. I can imagine how painful it was for her to leave
\nher baby. As I wrote you last year, on her behalf… Mothers don’t
\nleave their children.<\/p>\n
\nBecause it would mean giving up the battle and die. She was
\nfighting to stay. Now days, its more acceptable and known, at her
\ntime it was not.<\/p>\n
\nbut tears, blood and unending love. Why can’t you see it? Open
\nup your heart, It’s all there.<\/p>\n
\nYet, your face is so manly. YOU ARE HER MASTERPIECE, the
\nbest thing she has ever produced.<\/p>\n
\nlet my Dad go. He died of cancer when I was 2 years old. I kept
\nspeaking with him for many years but also blaming him for abandoning
\nme. Only after my own illness, I realized that he is REALLY dead. I
\nneeded to have a burial ceremony and let him go. So, I went to the
\nbeach and sent him a flower with a letter attached to it, thanking him
\nfor giving me life and said goodbye. Since then I leave him in peace.
\nI am not comfortable with the way I treated him by making him a
\npunching bag for anything wrong In my life. IT WAS NOT HIS FAULT…
\nHe is dead and could not help it! It also freed me of unresolved anger
\nthat kept festering within me and most definitely did not help my heart
\ncondition.<\/p>\n
\nright now, but there is always tomorrow…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"