{"id":43389,"date":"2012-04-25T19:09:24","date_gmt":"2012-04-26T03:09:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=43389"},"modified":"2012-04-25T19:11:45","modified_gmt":"2012-04-26T03:11:45","slug":"i-was-the-king-of-kingdom-come","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=43389","title":{"rendered":"I Was The King Of Kingdom Come"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I was a spiritual being. I lived in a world of light. All day long, I wrote my blog without a care in the world. I studied the sacred text and I communed with angels. I was like Peter Pan.<\/p>\n<p>Then one day, father came to me and said, &#8220;Son, I want you to go down to earth and live among men. Get a job for a Jew lawyer. Personal injury. Chase ambulances. Pay off credit cards. Do without health insurance. See how the other half lives. And take my message to them.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And so I went down to earth and worked 9-5 as a secretary. Every day my boss would say to me, &#8220;Man, what are you doing here?&#8221; And I&#8217;d say, &#8220;I&#8217;m living the dream. I&#8217;ve never been happier.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I worked among lawyers and I passed out my Alexander Technique business cards and did my best to embody observation, inhibition and direction.<\/p>\n<p>One evening I was working late. There was a big party. We weren&#8217;t invited. A beautiful woman came by looking for the bathroom. I showed her. The boss had me revise documents multiple times. He said I looked tired.<\/p>\n<p>The woman came back out and walked by.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Nothing could make me happier,&#8221; I said to the boss as I did my final revision. &#8220;Well, maybe one thing.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was a spiritual being. I lived in a world of light. All day long, I wrote my blog without a care in the world. I studied the sacred text and I communed with angels. I was like Peter Pan. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=43389\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-43389","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43389","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=43389"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43389\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43391,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43389\/revisions\/43391"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=43389"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=43389"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=43389"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}