I’ve often thought of devoting my life to sex trafficking but David Hoffman is the real deal.<\/p>\n
I met David<\/a> towards the end of 2002, just before he was to leave for Europe to sleep with beautiful women and rescue their oppressed sisters.<\/p>\n I got him some work writing for my prestigious internet operations at prices ranging up to $100 a story.<\/p>\n Hoffman calls me back July 3, 2007<\/a>.<\/p>\n "I thought I would settle in Budapest but it turned out to be a s— hole. You can smell the sewage. It’s awful. The girls are stunning. Every one of them. At every bus stop, I thought I was in a fashion show."<\/p>\n Luke: "You went there to combat sex trafficking."<\/p>\n David: "That never went off. I couldn’t speak Russian or Czech. They’re not going to let me near the girls because they don’t know me. I would be reduced to some menial task.<\/p>\n "On the date I was supposed to start the job, January 1, 2005, I came down violently ill and was ill for months."<\/p>\n Luke: "Did you get much writing done in Europe?"<\/p>\n David: "Luke, I don’t write anymore. When two separate publishers for Murdergate! The Presidency, The U.S Government, and the Politics of Murder<\/em> failed to keep promise on their contract, I became discouraged about writing. I’d worked on that book for two solid years. I tried like a bitch to get it published."<\/p>\n I read Hoffman’s magnum opus. It accuses both president Bushes of arranging various sinister murders, leaving me depressed about our prospects for democracy and fulfillment in this fallen world.<\/p>\n Luke: "It sounds like you’ve been battling depression."<\/p>\n David: "No, my friend, I’ve been battling suicidal depression. I had an attempt in March of 2004 in Portland and then a serious attempt in December 2005 in Prague. I took 100 ten milligram valiums and 100 ten milligram ambiens and I washed it down with a bottle of whiskey. It should’ve been enough to kill a horse. I didn’t even close my eyes."<\/p>\n Luke: "What’s at the bottom of your depression?"<\/p>\n David: "Loneliness."<\/p>\n Luke: "What’s at the bottom of the loneliness?"<\/p>\n David: "Failed careers which produces lack of self-esteem. A man has to be active to feel self-esteem. Of course, I’m getting older and going bald."<\/p>\n David spent eight months in a Prague prison for firing tear gas canisters at a man outside his Prague apartment who was "f—ing with my electricity."<\/p>\n "When he refused to undo the damage, I opened up on him at point-blank range and I gave him the whole clip of eight shots. I didn’t do any damage to him, but he called the police. He’s the criminal but I was arrested."<\/p>\n "I was kept in a 250-year old prison that had been used by the Nazis and the Communists. Of course not many people speak English."<\/p>\n "They like to arrest black people there. They are very racist. Occasionally I would get a Nigerian or an Algerian who spoke English and we’d make friends. We were locked in our cells 23 hours a day. I would call it a form of low-level torture. I had two nervous breakdowns. I had to be hospitalized. I was kicked. I was slapped. I was laughed at."<\/p>\n Luke: "How has your life been since you returned to the United States [six months ago]?"<\/p>\n David: "I’m suffering from post-traumatic-stress-disorder. For the first four months, I had nightmares every night that I was being sliced by razor blades or put through a machine that would grind me up. I could feel the pain. The dreams have stopped but I’m going to have to see a psychologist."<\/p>\n "I’ve been moving from place to place. It’s been horrible. First I went to San Francisco but I found you can’t go home again. San Francisco has changed radically. They’ve got a new mayor who took away the welfare from the homeless people. This guy [Gavin Newsome] was like a Rudy Giuliani. San Francisco has developed a nasty edge and it depressed me."<\/p>\n "I moved to Massachusetts, which sucks. I’m leaving in Peabody, near Salem. It’s white-trashy. People are fat and disgusting. There are a lot of hispanics. They’re generally nice. They’re just disgusting."<\/p>\n Luke: "How are things with your parents?"<\/p>\n David: "They’re about 90. They have Alzheimers. Did you ever try to have a lasting and intelligent conversation with somebody with Alzheimers? It’s tricky. They’re still sending me money because of my [Chronic Fatigue Syndrome] disabilities."<\/p>\n Luke: "Are you allowed to live in the same state as your father?"<\/p>\n David: "My older brother wrote me in prison asking me to come home to Maryland to help take care of mom and dad. So I get home and say OK. I love my parents. And my brother said no way are you living here. We got into a big fight. I haven’t spoken to him in months.<\/p>\n "My dad said, ‘No way are you living in Maryland. I don’t even want you in the state [or he will cut off David’s trust fund].’ I was like, ‘Ohmigod, where’s the love? Where’s the caring?’<\/p>\n "I called Jewish Family Services to see if they would intervene. My dad hung up on them. I even went to a priest. My dad told him to go to hell."<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I’ve often thought of devoting my life to sex trafficking but David Hoffman is the real deal. I met David towards the end of 2002, just before he was to leave for Europe to sleep with beautiful women and rescue … Continue reading