{"id":38621,"date":"2011-12-05T13:53:14","date_gmt":"2011-12-05T21:53:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=38621"},"modified":"2011-12-05T13:53:14","modified_gmt":"2011-12-05T21:53:14","slug":"the-modern-orthodox-walk-of-shame","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=38621","title":{"rendered":"The Modern Orthodox Walk Of Shame"},"content":{"rendered":"

From YUBeacon.com<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Adjusting the clasp on my Hadaya necklace, I finally take in my whole reflection in the bathroom mirror. My transformation from Occasionally-Cute-Modern-Orthodox-Girl into Sexually-Appealing-Secular-Woman: complete. I had managed to startle myself so much that I rush to cover myself in my peacoat. My hand won\u2019t stop twitching at my side while I sit impatiently on the bed. \u201cHow long does it take a person to walk?\u201d I think aloud.
\nA minute later there\u2019s a key turning the lock in the front door. Breathing deeply in an attempt to regain my composure, I stand up and open the door with a coy grin. He says \u201chey\u201d as he walks in with a bare head. After all of our secret rendezvouses, I\u2019m still not used to seeing him without his yarmulke on, but this time it\u2019s somewhat of a comfort.
\nMy partner in crime improvises with the room key as a bottle opener and we gorge ourselves on Stella Artois and cable television. In between swigs, I glance over at him; my cheeks are flushed and my head feels lighter with every drop. Making him think I\u2019m farther gone than I actually am helps me shut off my conscience when I kiss him hard on the mouth. That little pest of a conscience is screaming again when he starts taking off my dress, so I shut her up with a last gulp of beer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From YUBeacon.com: Adjusting the clasp on my Hadaya necklace, I finally take in my whole reflection in the bathroom mirror. My transformation from Occasionally-Cute-Modern-Orthodox-Girl into Sexually-Appealing-Secular-Woman: complete. I had managed to startle myself so much that I rush to cover … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[214,18,28],"tags":[28328,28329,28330,28327,25855,30513],"class_list":["post-38621","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-modern-orthodox","category-orthodoxy","category-sex","tag-bathroom-mirror","tag-peacoat","tag-room-key","tag-stella-artois","tag-walk-of-shame","tag-yarmulke"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t