{"id":3777,"date":"2008-08-18T14:17:54","date_gmt":"2008-08-18T22:17:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3777"},"modified":"2008-08-18T14:25:25","modified_gmt":"2008-08-18T22:25:25","slug":"the-moshiach-will-not-be-televised","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3777","title":{"rendered":"The Moshiach Will Not Be Televised"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You will not be able to stay home, brother.<br \/>\nYou will not be able to plug in,&nbsp;daven on and cop out.<br \/>\nYou will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip,<br \/>\nSkip out for beer during commercials,<br \/>\nBecause the Moshiach will not be televised.<\/p>\n<p>The Moshiach will not be televised.<br \/>\nThe Moshiach will not be brought to you by Xerox<br \/>\nIn four parts without commercial interruptions.<br \/>\nThe revolution will not show you pictures of Agriprocessors<br \/>\nslaughtering a cow and stopping a charge by Ingrid Newkirk,&nbsp;<br \/>\nShmuel Herzfeld&nbsp;and&nbsp;Shmarya Rosenberg&nbsp;to eat<br \/>\nhog maws confiscated from a Harlem sanctuary.<br \/>\nThe Moshiach will not be televised.<\/p>\n<p>The&nbsp;Moshiach will not be brought to you by the&nbsp;<br \/>\nAmerican Jewish University&nbsp;and will not star&nbsp;Elliot Dorff<br \/>\nand Bradley Shavit Artson&nbsp;or Bullwinkle and Julia.<br \/>\nThe&nbsp;Moshiach will not give your mouth sex appeal.<br \/>\nThe&nbsp;Moshiach will not get rid of the nubs.<br \/>\nThe&nbsp;Moshiach will not make you look five pounds<br \/>\nthinner, because the&nbsp;Moshiach will not be televised, Brother.<\/p>\n<p>There will be no pictures of you and Willie May<br \/>\npushing that shopping cart down the block on the dead run,<br \/>\nor trying to slide that color television into a stolen ambulance.<br \/>\nNBC will not be able predict the winner at 8:32<br \/>\nor report from 29 districts.<br \/>\nThe Moshiach will not be televised.<\/p>\n<p>There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down<br \/>\nbrothers in the instant replay.<br \/>\nThere will be no pictures of pigs shooting down<br \/>\nbrothers in the instant replay.<br \/>\nThere will be no pictures of&nbsp;O.J. Simpson&nbsp;being<br \/>\nrun out of&nbsp;Brentwood on a rail with a brand new process.<br \/>\nThere will be no slow motion or still life of David<br \/>\nSaperstein&nbsp;strolling through Watts in a Red, Black and<br \/>\nGreen liberation jumpsuit that he had been saving<br \/>\nFor just the proper occasion.<\/p>\n<p>90210, American Idol, and Desperate<br \/>\nHousewives&nbsp;will no longer be so damned relevant, and<br \/>\nwomen will not care if Dick finally gets down with<br \/>\nOrit on&nbsp;JewishJournal.com because&nbsp;Jewish people<br \/>\nwill be in the street looking for a brighter day.<br \/>\nThe&nbsp;Moshiach will not be televised.<\/p>\n<p>There will be no highlights on the eleven o&#8217;clock<br \/>\nnews and no pictures of hairy armed women<br \/>\nliberationists marching outside the Chinese embassy.<br \/>\nThe theme song will not be written by Sam Glaser,<br \/>\nNeshama Carebach, nor sung by Debbie Friedman, Craig Taubman,&nbsp;<br \/>\nKelly Clarkson, Matisyahu, or the Moshav Band.<br \/>\nThe&nbsp;Moshiach will not be televised.<\/p>\n<p>The&nbsp;Moshiach will not be right back after a message<br \/>\nbout a white tornado, white lightning, or white people.<br \/>\nYou will not have to worry about a dove in your<br \/>\nbedroom, a tiger in your tank, or the giant in your toilet bowl.<br \/>\nThe&nbsp;Moshiach will not go better with Coke.<br \/>\nThe&nbsp;Moshiach will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath.<br \/>\nThe&nbsp;Moshiach will put you in the driver&#8217;s seat.<\/p>\n<p>The&nbsp;Moshiach will not be televised, will not be televised,<br \/>\nwill not be televised, will not be televised.<br \/>\nThe&nbsp;Moshiach will be no re-run brothers;<br \/>\nThe&nbsp;Moshiach will be live.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You will not be able to stay home, brother. You will not be able to plug in,&nbsp;daven on and cop out. You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip, Skip out for beer during commercials, Because &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3777\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[31188,11398,11395,11399,11396,11397],"class_list":["post-3777","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jews","tag-agriprocessors","tag-commercial-interruptions","tag-hog-maws","tag-instant-replay","tag-liberation-jumpsuit","tag-pictures-of-pigs"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3777","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3777"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3777\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3777"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3777"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3777"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}