{"id":3482,"date":"2008-07-17T15:40:38","date_gmt":"2008-07-17T23:40:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3482"},"modified":"2008-07-17T19:27:13","modified_gmt":"2008-07-18T03:27:13","slug":"comfortably-snuggled-in-orthodox-judaism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3482","title":{"rendered":"Comfortably Snuggled In Orthodox Judaism"},"content":{"rendered":"

From my live cam chat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

palestine4ever:  "Engineering sweeping moral change" leaves little time to clean the hovel \ud83d\ude42
\npalestine4ever:  That is a suspiciously feminine comforter for a bachelor.
\npalestine4ever:  Unless it’s part of the pick up king tricks.
\npalestine4ever:  "Come see my flower comforter, babe."
\npalestine4ever:  I like the new title graphic up front
\npalestine4ever:  A crucified Luke would be the best though
\npalestine4ever:  Yay. \ud83d\ude42
\npalestine4ever:  "This Goy Died for Your Sins. And He’ll Rise and Print a Retraction on the 3rd Day"
\npalestine4ever:  Luke, are you a fan of b-movies?
\nYourMoralLeader:  no
\npalestine4ever:  damn
\npalestine4ever:  I was hoping to share some of my Italian amphetamine mad max rip-offs to ease your illness.
\npalestine4ever:  I otherwise have no useful links
\npalestine4ever:  I did sort of wonder why you weren’t consulted for Wired’s current cover story:
\npalestine4ever:  http:\/\/www.wired.com\/culture\/lifestyle\/magazine\/16-08\/howto_allison<\/a>
\npalestine4ever:  I believe you were a microcelebrity before anyone knew what a microcelebrity was
\npalestine4ever:  i hope that’s a kosher magazine
\npalestine4ever:  blessed by the cohenim
\npalestine4ever:  you should twitter tho
\npalestine4ever:  you’d probably have a lot of followers
\npalestine4ever:  tech dorks obsessed with money like to show off their "eccentric friends"
\npalestine4ever:  I believe you and the Tron Guy from Youtube are the only two reasonably qualified to critique that wired story
\npalestine4ever:  Anyway, how are the Jews treating you?
\npalestine4ever:  You weigh weighty moral issues all day.
\npalestine4ever:  Your brain needs a rest, to renew itself with lighter fare.<\/p>\n

Rebbe:  show me your tongue
\nYourMoralLeader:  you’re right
\nRebbe:  if u talk will I hear ou?
\nguest116:  yeah why not marrrry
\nRebbe:  say something
\nguest116:  you look handsome…somewhat
\nYourMoralLeader:  thank you
\nYourMoralLeader:  i need a good loving woman
\nRebbe:  I think this is a prerecorded webcam. Say something Luke.
\nguest116:  you dont have one?
\nRebbe:  Great!!
\nRabbiGadol:  Have you been to the mikvah?
\nRebbe:  I am a virgin
\nRebbe:  no need for mikva
\nRabbiGadol:  I would not want to have sex with a needah
\nRabbiGadol:  Yes there is, if you have been bleeding.
\nRebbe:  Ok I have been to mikvah
\nRabbiGadol:  Of course, you might be a homosexual
\nRabbiGadol:  Gays need not go to the mikvah
\nRebbe:  luke, get rid of this lewd guy
\nRabbiGadol:  But the torah teaches that your kind must be exterminated if you lie down with a man as with a woman, unless you are a woman
\nRebbe:  yeah, thetorah is rubbish
\nRabbiGadol:  The torah is fine with lesbians
\nRabbiGadol:  Because after all, it was written by a guy.
\nRebbe:  torah is primitive fake
\nRabbiGadol:  And guys like lesbians.
\nRabbiGadol:  Luke, that beard is perhaps your greatest achievement in life.
\nRebbe:  most of torah is based on superstotion
\nRebbe:  luke yo are f**king manic depression
\nRabbiGadol:  Rebbe, which school of thought are you part of?
\nRebbe:  rebbigadol. where are you in the world
\nRabbiGadol:  Near New Jerusalem
\nRabbiGadol:  Luke, what on earth are you watching\/listening to?
\nRabbiGadol:  And why?
\nRebbe:  I was brought up ultra orthodox. I am married, 3 kids ultra orthodox, but inside I believe nothing. You?
\nRabbiGadol:  Rebbe, how does your spouse feel about these matters?
\nRebbe:  she doesnt know
\nRebbe:  what is your school
\nRabbiGadol:  Tell her, and let the chips fall where they may
\nRebbe:  what is you school of thought Rebbi
\nRabbiGadol:  Sister Theresa too, did not believe, and yet here she is a saint in the eyes of the Church.
\nRabbiGadol:  Litvish-Reformed
\nRebbe:  ultra orthodox?
\nRabbiGadol:  Criminy, what is this in the background?
\nYourMoralLeader:  that was cheryl shuman
\nRabbiGadol:  Me?  No, I’m ultra-modern orthodox
\nYourMoralLeader:  she’s been in a bad car accident
\nRabbiGadol:  What happened to her?
\nYourMoralLeader:  but made a video she emailed me and friends
\nRabbiGadol:  Why is she sending you videos?
\nRabbiGadol:  I thought she hated you.
\nRebbe:  luke, you have a sad life
\nYourMoralLeader:  loves me too
\nYourMoralLeader:  help me rebbe
\nRebbe:  do tsuvah. go to uman etc.
\nRabbiGadol:  Luke, you would make a fine reform Jew.
\nRabbiGadol:  You could be the most observant reform Jew in all of Christendom.
\nRebbe:  luke either orthodox or atheist. Reform is rediculous
\nRabbiGadol:  Reform is fine for those for whom it is a good fit.
\nSATAN:  i think he looks like a muslim imman
\nRebbe:  If orthodox arent true, then the whole thing is a myth…
\nRabbiGadol:  Or maybe some of it.
\nRabbiGadol:  Ask Luke.
\nRabbiGadol:  He struggles with these problems.
\nRebbe:  f**k religion and f**k the god scam
\nRabbiGadol:  Rebbe, why live a lie?
\nRebbe:  luke, is there a god??
\nRabbiGadol:  Get out of the closet.  Where do you live?
\nSATAN:  he dont struggle wit food do e
\nRebbe:  I am too deep in it. Changing would mess everything up. Its a comfortable lie
\nRabbiGadol:  where are you?
\nRabbiGadol:  Many New York haredim find solace in hookers.
\nRebbe:  If i come out, i would lose my wife and kids and happy life, so its nbot worth it. I can get porn etc. on the net so there
\nRabbiGadol:  Where do you live?
\nRebbe:  NY
\nRabbiGadol:  Are you a hassid?
\nRebbe:  you?
\nRebbe:  yes
\nRabbiGadol:  Which strain?  Satmar?
\nRebbe:  Cant say. Protection
\nRebbe:  where do you live
\nRabbiGadol:  Oh, unless it is some tiny little branch, don’t be so paranoid
\nRabbiGadol:  NY
\nRabbiGadol:  You are in Brooklyn?
\nRebbe:  if i would come out there would be an earthquake. I am actually in a very high position in my community. Enoiugh said \ud83d\ude42
\nRabbiGadol:  OK
\nRabbiGadol:  Get yourself a pelegesh
\nRebbe:  Anyone for cybersex?
\nRabbiGadol:  A Dominican
\nRabbiGadol:  Dominicans make great pelegesh
\nRebbe:  I am not the way I am because of lust. I genuinely think its all crap
\nRabbiGadol:  Luke, what should Rebbe do?
\nSATAN:  go muslim
\nYourMoralLeader:  what he is doing
\nRabbiGadol:  Luke is much like you in that he really does not believe many core doctrines, but wants to remain part of the community for social reasons.
\nRabbiGadol:  What do you make of a Jew living in a closet like the Rebbe?
\nRebbe:  I am back baybelech
\nRabbiGadol:  Is the closet any place for a Jewish man?
\nRebbe:  luke, would u like me to leave
\nRebbe:  look at lukes ampty life
\nRabbiGadol:  It is not all that empty
\nRebbe:  rabbi gadol, would u like to meet?
\nguest118:  As opposed to everyone here
\nSATAN:  i think hitler was a very misunderstood man listenin to you w**kers
\nRabbiGadol:  Rebbe, because of the social implications of two strange men meeting, I, as a matter of public decorem, only meet with women from the internet.  Just so that there are no misunderstandings.
\nRebbe:  satan, you need to get a life. Your train of thought hows us that u are unhappy wih your present self. seek help. good luck
\nguest118:  119 The smartest guest in the room. Image watching an empty cam
\nRebbe:  rabbi, i meant meet as in so that you see who i am, not in the sexual way…
\nSATAN:  yeaaaa
\nRabbiGadol:  I was kidding. I never meet anyone through the internet.
\nRabbiGadol:  I know there are support groups for Jews who are closet atheists.
\nRebbe:  and even in that context, i was just teasing. If I come out, my life would be over in an important sense
\nRebbe:  where are these groups?
\nRebbe:   I am happy for someone to prove me wrong, i even yearn for someone to prove me wrong, but all theevidence that I see shows that god is just a myth
\nSATAN:  ill buy that
\nRabbiGadol:  I’m sure many practicing Jews agree with much of what you say here
\nRebbe:  check out the "greatest jews" in our time, a bunch of self loving pigs. see. satmar bobv, ponevetch etc.
\nRebbe:  sata, are you orthodox?
\nSATAN:  god said when he threw me outa heaven watch that first step its a ba***rd
\nRebbe:  ha ha. were you born to an orthodox family?
\nRebbe:  going back to ur hitler comment, i would bet that yes
\nSATAN:  i like religion it causes so many wars<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From my live cam chat: palestine4ever:  "Engineering sweeping moral change" leaves little time to clean the hovel \ud83d\ude42 palestine4ever:  That is a suspiciously feminine comforter for a bachelor. palestine4ever:  Unless it’s part of the pick up king tricks. palestine4ever:  "Come … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[592],"tags":[897,10453,2553,10452,1132,10454],"class_list":["post-3482","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","tag-live-cam-chat","tag-manic-depression","tag-mikvah","tag-new-jerusalem","tag-orthodox-judaism","tag-sister-theresa"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3482","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3482"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3482\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3482"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3482"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3482"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}