{"id":3456,"date":"2008-07-15T09:07:45","date_gmt":"2008-07-15T17:07:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3456"},"modified":"2008-07-15T09:07:45","modified_gmt":"2008-07-15T17:07:45","slug":"bow-down-to-me-you-bitches","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3456","title":{"rendered":"Bow Down To Me You Bitches"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s not even 10 a.m. and I’ve already made $9 from Adsense.<\/p>\n

I had acupuncture today. It was a new girl. She had lots of tats. She was so sweet. She looked in my eyes like she really cared. She yearned to hear about all my aches and pains. She wanted to soothe my suffering.<\/p>\n

She looked like nothing would give her greater pleasure than to please me.<\/p>\n

When it came time for her to take my pulse, I had to close my eyes and drift away.<\/p>\n

I was scared of the intimacy.<\/p>\n

She asked me to stick out my tongue.<\/p>\n

I just left it there hanging low for her.<\/p>\n

I started to pant as the saliva dripped down.<\/p>\n

When it was all over, she put one hand on my shoulder and the other on my chest and said, "I’ll see you outside."<\/p>\n

Oh yeah, there’ll be a second date. Fer sure!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s not even 10 a.m. and I’ve already made $9 from Adsense. I had acupuncture today. It was a new girl. She had lots of tats. She was so sweet. She looked in my eyes like she really cared. She … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[10344,10345,10347,10346,2676],"class_list":["post-3456","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-hand-on-my-shoulder","tag-new-girl","tag-pant","tag-saliva","tag-second-date"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t