{"id":31911,"date":"2011-04-16T18:47:06","date_gmt":"2011-04-17T02:47:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=31911"},"modified":"2011-04-16T19:34:51","modified_gmt":"2011-04-17T03:34:51","slug":"my-subtle-low-grade-depression","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=31911","title":{"rendered":"My Subtle Low-Grade Depression"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><A HREF=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=31850\">I went off nardil in 1999 without ill effect, but reading this Wikipedia paragraph<\/a> makes me think that I have tendencies towards <A HREF=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Dysthymia\">dysthymia<\/a> aka subtle low-grade depression. <\/p>\n<p>When I get excited about something, my depression lifts, but when I have setbacks, I get easily discouraged. <\/p>\n<p>My depression is never so bad that I don&#8217;t want to participate in life. If I have the energy, out I go. Without fail. If I don&#8217;t have the energy, then I get depressed that life is passing me by. Friends marry, have kids and take on mortgages while I blog endlessly about my feelings. <\/p>\n<p>If I have dysthmia, how does it negatively affect my life? I probably take fewer chances than would be healthy. I probably reach out to other people less and connect less and stay home more. At social gatherings, I extend myself less and say hello to fewer people. <\/p>\n<p>When I struggle to earn a living, I collapse within. I rarely have the strength to initiate connection. It&#8217;s particularly hard for me to approach women.<\/p>\n<p>What do my monetary troubles tell me? That I have severe character flaws and an inability to connect normally with others. My monetary troubles are a mirror to my painful personal shortcomings. <\/p>\n<p>I feel like I am on the right path with my life. I am excited about my religious community, my friends, my education in Alexander Technique, and my weekly writing workshop. <\/p>\n<p>Heaven can wait. <\/p>\n<p>Doing things that I love, having creative outlets, speaking my truth, these are among my paths out of depression. The more things I can get passionate about in real life, the better. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I went off nardil in 1999 without ill effect, but reading this Wikipedia paragraph makes me think that I have tendencies towards dysthymia aka subtle low-grade depression. When I get excited about something, my depression lifts, but when I have &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=31911\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[31647,10691,26097,26098,10541,26096],"class_list":["post-31911","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-alexander-technique","tag-character-flaws","tag-heaven-can-wait","tag-ill-effect","tag-nardil","tag-social-gatherings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31911","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=31911"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31911\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31927,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31911\/revisions\/31927"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=31911"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=31911"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=31911"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}