{"id":3096,"date":"2008-05-28T20:38:39","date_gmt":"2008-05-29T04:38:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3096"},"modified":"2008-05-28T20:45:13","modified_gmt":"2008-05-29T04:45:13","slug":"why-do-we-give-other-people-what-we-want","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3096","title":{"rendered":"Why Do We Give Other People What We Want?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m sitting in my hovel surrounded by freakin’ balloons. Everywhere I go — which isn’t far in here — I’m tripping over and colliding with balloons.<\/p>\n

They’re big and bright and blue and they’re wishing me a happy birthday.<\/p>\n

They’re tired up to my meager furniture and to water bottles and to virtually everything but my Torah books.<\/p>\n

Did Rabbi Akiva get balloons for his birthday?<\/p>\n

Why do I get balloons for my birthday? Because the woman who gave me balloons wants balloons on her birthday.<\/p>\n

I’ll tell you what she’ll bloody well get — if she gets anything — and that’s a gift certificate to Barnes & Nobles.<\/p>\n

That’s my standard gift (I don’t give many gifts, can’t be bothered).<\/p>\n

I’ll tell you a dirty little secret about my gift giving — the only persons who should expect gifts from me are my wives and girlfriends. That’s it. Nobody else should expect even a card, not even a chaste kiss good night.<\/p>\n

I’m too busy writing commentaries on the Torah to go shopping. Did the Vilna Gaon give birthday cards? I think not. I bet his wife didn’t even get balloons.<\/p>\n

I’ve only once lived with a woman for longer than a few weeks. This was in 1993 and it lasted about three months. And we kept giving each other what we wanted. I gave her long longing notes tucked under her pillow about how much she meant to me. She bought me clothes. I didn’t give a flying leap about clothes and she couldn’t care less about my lovey dovey notes.<\/p>\n

In 1987, my sister came over for Christmas. I gave her as a present a book I wanted to read — Days of Rage by Todd Gitlin. She saw right through my gift and didn’t even bother to take it back to Australia with her.<\/p>\n

It’s a cold cruel world out there, lover.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m sitting in my hovel surrounded by freakin’ balloons. Everywhere I go — which isn’t far in here — I’m tripping over and colliding with balloons. They’re big and bright and blue and they’re wishing me a happy birthday. They’re … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[1142,8839,8833,8837,30142,8831,4085,8836,8841,8763,824,8832,8840,988,700,4537,29981,8835,8838,8834],"class_list":["post-3096","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-amp","tag-balloons","tag-barnes-amp-nobles","tag-birthday-cards","tag-clothes","tag-cold-cruel-world","tag-commentaries","tag-dirty-little-secret","tag-gift-certificate","tag-happy-birthday","tag-hovel","tag-kiss-good-night","tag-leap","tag-longing","tag-rabbi","tag-three-months","tag-torah","tag-vilna","tag-water-bottles","tag-wives-and-girlfriends"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t