{"id":3091,"date":"2008-05-28T07:45:02","date_gmt":"2008-05-28T15:45:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3091"},"modified":"2008-05-28T10:42:51","modified_gmt":"2008-05-28T18:42:51","slug":"i-turn-42-may-28-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3091","title":{"rendered":"I Turn 42 May 28"},"content":{"rendered":"

Stop by my chat room<\/a> and wish me a happy birthday!<\/p>\n

LeahKleim:  I got pissed at x
\nLeahKleim:  broke a buncha s**t
\nLeahKleim:  busted windows
\nLeahKleim:  smashed up his car and truck
\nLeahKleim:  gashed my arm open on broken glass
\nrussiandragon:  that’s kind of expensive hobby flipping
\nLeahKleim:  its a very expensive habbit
\nLeahKleim:  and i do it so f**king often
\nLeahKleim:  i think i need anger management
\nLeahKleim:  but i dont wanna manage it
\nrussiandragon:  you need some other passtime to burn your rage
\nLeahKleim:  like rough sex
\nrussiandragon:  for example
\nrussiandragon:  you would feel better
\nrussiandragon:  or running like i do
\nLeahKleim:  i did that after i flipped
\nrussiandragon:  i run about 15 km’s a week
\nLeahKleim:  f**k running, i smoke two pax a day and have asthma
\nLeahKleim:  and im scared of the gym bandits
\nYourMoralLeader:  how do you feel about growing old leah?
\nLeahKleim:  old is far away for me
\nLeahKleim:  I dont think about it
\nLeahKleim:  I guess when it happens Ill have nothing
\nLeahKleim:  all I got is a hot body, so when that goes Im f**ked
\nLeahKleim:  I know I can write, my dry humor spills all over the paper, I cant spell though. but really, where the f**k is writing gonna get me ?
\nLeahKleim:  by the time Im there making 40 bux a day, my tits will be on my knees and my ass will be flat and life will suck
\nrussiandragon:  i’m sure your breasts will stay perky for a long time to come
\nLeahKleim:  they wont look good with a saggy ass though
\nrussiandragon:  you can work on a saggy ass
\nLeahKleim:  damn it im big enough to admit that im just tits and ass, dont byrst that bubble<\/p>\n

I got this birthday card:<\/p>\n

\n

I wish you success, critical acclaim, stalwart admirers and publishing opportunities in all of your literary endeavors.<\/p>\n

May you feel the love of your Jewish community and become more learned in all things, but especially in Tikun Olam, Torah and Talmud. May more people see the wonderful things I see in you and embrace you for your individuality and courage.<\/p>\n

May you become an expert at SEO, e-marketing, new niche industries, and may you make the cold hard cash reflective of the amount of work you put in. I am so proud of you on a daily basis; I see the hard work and focus in all that you do.<\/p>\n

I hope that this year will also see you in better health and free from elbow pain and stoopy posture. I pray that this year will bring more joy and less depression and a greater sense of emotional equilibrium.<\/p>\n

I wish you a year of intellectual fulfillment, good books, worthwhile movies, smart company, a place with elite company.<\/p>\n

I wish you a year full of cock-drunk ecstasy.<\/p>\n

<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Stop by my chat room and wish me a happy birthday! LeahKleim:  I got pissed at x LeahKleim:  broke a buncha s**t LeahKleim:  busted windows LeahKleim:  smashed up his car and truck LeahKleim:  gashed my arm open on broken glass … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6438,21],"tags":[8792,8758,8764,8761,8791,4769,8760,676,8790,8765,2608,8763,8759,2061,8019,8026,8015,1863,8789,902,647,8766,8757,8022,1507,8762,8020],"class_list":["post-3091","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-leah-kleim","category-personal","tag-admirers","tag-anger-management","tag-asthma","tag-bandits","tag-birthday-card","tag-breasts","tag-broken-glass","tag-chat-room","tag-critical-acclaim","tag-dry-humor","tag-f-king","tag-happy-birthday","tag-hot-body","tag-jewish-community","tag-ked","tag-leah","tag-leahkleim","tag-levi","tag-literary-endeavors","tag-lol","tag-nbsp","tag-nice-ass","tag-passtime","tag-pax","tag-rage","tag-rough-sex","tag-tits-and-ass"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3091","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3091"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3091\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3091"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3091"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3091"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}