{"id":3071,"date":"2008-05-26T09:02:07","date_gmt":"2008-05-26T17:02:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3071"},"modified":"2008-05-26T09:11:58","modified_gmt":"2008-05-26T17:11:58","slug":"i-fear-im-a-lousy-lover","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3071","title":{"rendered":"I Fear I&#8217;m A Lousy Lover"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m watching the movie American Gangster. The cop, played by Russell Crowe, is making love to his lawyer while carrying her around a kitchen (she&#8217;s facing him with her knees around his hips, you get the picture?). He puts her on a counter top and they push everything out of their way on to the floor.<\/p>\n<p>I keep seeing this in movies and I fear that this is the vital component missing from my love life. I never carry a woman around a room while I&#8217;m making love to her (or at least I don&#8217;t think I would if our union were sanctified by God and state and this sort of activity was permitted to me). I never send the contents of a table or counter crashing to the floor so I can deposit some tasty damsel and have my way with her.<\/p>\n<p>I just lack this kind of passion. I think it is a terrible thing to intentionally break things (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.torah.org\/advanced\/weekly-halacha\/5760\/behaaloscha.html\">bal tashchis<\/a>) or just to make some huge unnecessary mess. I don&#8217;t think of kitchens and counters as erotic locales.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m a fuddy duddy.<\/p>\n<p>Also, why in movies are people always interrupting sex to answer the phone? Does this happen in real life?<\/p>\n<p>guest12:&nbsp; luke you can&#8217;t have that kind of american gangster sex in your hovel due to lack of space &amp; your lack of counter space<br \/>\nguest12:&nbsp; also you are not muscular enough to carry the beavy of beauties on your hip<br \/>\nguest12:&nbsp; also i don&#8217;t think you want to work that hard&#8230;you are more passive in your love making<br \/>\nguest12:&nbsp; you are not an aggressive lover as a russell crowe&nbsp; but you also wouldn&#8217;t throw a phone at a hotel clerk<\/p>\n<p><!--adsense--><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m watching the movie American Gangster. The cop, played by Russell Crowe, is making love to his lawyer while carrying her around a kitchen (she&#8217;s facing him with her knees around his hips, you get the picture?). He puts her &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3071\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[8495,1142,8579,8578,8574,8570,2276,8567,8568,8577,8580,824,8576,2028,1489,8569,2858,8572,647,3888,8573,8575,8571],"class_list":["post-3071","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-american-gangster","tag-amp","tag-beauties","tag-cop","tag-counter-top","tag-crashing-to-the-floor","tag-damsel","tag-fuddy-duddy","tag-god-and-state","tag-hips","tag-hotel-clerk","tag-hovel","tag-kitchens","tag-knees","tag-lawyer","tag-lousy-lover","tag-love-life","tag-making-love","tag-nbsp","tag-passion","tag-russell-crowe","tag-terrible-thing","tag-vital-component"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3071","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3071"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3071\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3071"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3071"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3071"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}