{"id":3002,"date":"2008-05-18T16:57:32","date_gmt":"2008-05-19T00:57:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3002"},"modified":"2008-05-18T17:20:47","modified_gmt":"2008-05-19T01:20:47","slug":"the-lords-prayer-for-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=3002","title":{"rendered":"The Lord’s Prayer For Women"},"content":{"rendered":"

zappa<\/a>:  My vibro,which brings me heaven. Rabbit be thy name. Til kingdom come, thy makest me c#m, on earth with eyes on heaven. Give me this day my daily thrill, and forgive me my screams, as i forgive flat batteries.
\nzappa:  Lead me not into temptations
\nzappa:  but deliver me from frustration
\nzappa:  for thine is the rotation, the power and the buzzing
\nzappa:  forever and ever
\nEmma:  amen
\nzappa:  no men<\/p>\n

zappa:  I’m craaaashin on a jet plane – that way I won’t be back again
\nKhunDiddy:  Hi everybody….I’m back…
\nEmma:  20 Ways To Maintain Insanity
\nYourMoralLeader:  how was thailand?
\nYourMoralLeader:  take your wife?
\nKhunDiddy:  Luke looks more like Rabbi Shmedrick thabn ever oy!
\nEmma:  1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If TheySlow Down.
\nKhunDiddy:  I’m suree Thailand was great but we were in Canada
\nYourMoralLeader:  with mrs?
\nEmma:  2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom.Don’t Disguise Your Voice.
\nYourMoralLeader:  are you faithful to her khun?
\nKhunDiddy:  always with the MRS
\nEmma:  3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
\nEmma:  4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".
\nKhunDiddy:  I’m faithful in Montreal but don’t test me in Bangkok
\nEmma:  5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
\nEmma:  6. In The Memo Field Of All YourChecks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds."
\nEmma:  7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance W ith The Prophecy."
\nEmma:  8. Don’t use any punctuation.
\nEmma:  9. As Often As Possible, Skip
\nEmma:  10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
\nKhunDiddy:  Emma are you still in love with Luke?
\nEmma:  11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
\nEmma:  12. Sing Along At The Opera.
\nKhunDiddy:  it’s been a month since I checked in
\nEmma:  13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And AskWhy The Poems Don’t Rhyme?
\nEmma:  14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
\nKhunDiddy:  Emma are you have Internet Intercourse with Luke yet
\nEmma:  15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You’re Not In the Mood.
\nEmma:  16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
\nEmma:  17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
\nEmma:  18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!"
\nEmma:  19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,"Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
\nEmma:  20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ..Tell this To Someone To Make Them Smile.Its Called .. therapy.<\/p>\n

KhunDiddy:  I don’t think this is the real Emma…the EMMA I knew was a SIMPLT GIRL who grooms horses….and sheers sheep and fethes water from the welll
\nKhunDiddy:  it’s been too long honey…sounds like you picked up some shtick from the Catskills
\nKhunDiddy:  you doing Stand Up now?
\nKhunDiddy:  Next to the horse corral?
\nKhunDiddy:  Now that Charleston Heston has passed on to that great gun range in the sky I believe Luke is ready to fill in with the Swords and Sandals flics…maybe need a few push ups first
\nKhunDiddy:  Beverly Hills Moses<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

zappa:  My vibro,which brings me heaven. Rabbit be thy name. Til kingdom come, thy makest me c#m, on earth with eyes on heaven. Give me this day my daily thrill, and forgive me my screams, as i forgive flat batteries. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[7851,3256,30472,7843,6610,7854,3048,7857,7855,7853,7852,7845,7850,7849,647,7844,1208,29858,7858,7856,700,2616,7847,7848,3757,7846],"class_list":["post-3002","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sex","tag-coffee-maker","tag-earth","tag-emma","tag-flat-batteries","tag-frustration","tag-hair-dryer","tag-heaven","tag-insanity","tag-intercom","tag-jet-plane","tag-khun","tag-kingdom-come","tag-lunch-time","tag-memo-field","tag-nbsp","tag-no-men","tag-oy","tag-prayer","tag-prophecy","tag-punctuation","tag-rabbi","tag-rabbit","tag-screams","tag-suree","tag-temptations","tag-vibro"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3002","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3002"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3002\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3002"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3002"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3002"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}