A friend calls.<\/p>\n
I confess my sins.<\/p>\n
Friend: "What kind of Orthodox Jew are you?"<\/p>\n
He’s irate.<\/p>\n
Luke: "A horny one."<\/p>\n
Friend: "I can’t wait till you give it up.<\/p>\n
"You could be extremely dangerous. I see you in ten years as some kind of secret agent for the Vatican. You’ll say, ‘I saw it from the inside. I saw them take an infant from an incubator and suck its blood to make matza. I was on the inside.’<\/p>\n
"I can’t wait for your book. It’ll be on DavidDuke.com\/lukeistruth.<\/p>\n
"You don’t see yourself in a Da Vinci Code double agent role?<\/p>\n
"You’ll say, ‘I saw Jewish doctors give Gentile babies tay-sachs so they can kill the kids quickly to get the blood for the matza.’<\/p>\n
"’I was a candy striper at Ceders-Sinai. I saw Operation Nine Days of Light. It’s all an attempt to lessen our dependence on Saudi oil by powering the grid with Gentile blood.’"<\/p>\n
My friend then suggested a Jeff’s Gourmet eat-off contest between two prominent and rotund Pico\/Robertson Orthodox rabbis.<\/p>\n
Because I recently studied Jewish laws against shame, I will not publish their names. Just use your imagination. What a fundraiser!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A friend calls. I confess my sins. Friend: "What kind of Orthodox Jew are you?" He’s irate. Luke: "A horny one." Friend: "I can’t wait till you give it up. "You could be extremely dangerous. I see you in ten … Continue reading