{"id":2792,"date":"2008-04-21T20:16:09","date_gmt":"2008-04-22T04:16:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2792"},"modified":"2008-04-22T06:46:36","modified_gmt":"2008-04-22T14:46:36","slug":"im-live-on-my-cam-16","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2792","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;m Live On My Cam!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/yourmoralleader.camstreams.com\/\">Click here to join the fun!<\/a><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve missed you guys.<\/p>\n<p>guest3:&nbsp; meet any ladies over the break?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; What are we listening to?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; scorpions<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; I&#8217;m dying for a slice of white bread<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; with a shmear of peanut butter<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; How was your &quot;hog&quot;?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; Heard that Weil&#8217;s not leaving us&#8230;.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; what?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; yet<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; no way?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; it was OK<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; yours?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; r u gina?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; I&#8217;ll be whomever you want me to be<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; Did you miss Emma horibbly over the past 3 days?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; I did<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; I especially missed the horses<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; horribly<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; absence makes &#8230;.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; true<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; the heart&#8230;..<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; go into cardiac arrest<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; may have to call Hatzalah and have you resucitated<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; techiat hameytim<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; Did you get what you wanted for afikomen?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; lol<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; i found the whole thing a bore and a chore<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; too long?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; did you do the first seder?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; yes, I led it<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; any followers?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I&#8217;m not in a good space with my Judaism.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; 1<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I feel on the margins and act in ways to keep myself there.<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; sorry. that must be a very tough place to be<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I have little concentration for the shiurim let alone the davening and the rituals<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; 3 day holidays can do that to you<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I&#8217;m not even concentrating on the books I&#8217;m reading in shul<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; maybe you should only go to every other prayer session<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I&#8217;m just thinking about: In Order: Sex, money, power, self-assertion, survival, social status<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; interesting order<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I used to get invited to really cool seders but I blew all those relationships up, I fear. <br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; religion is no where on the list?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; In my fantasy life, it&#8217;s not showing up much.<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; start new ones<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I will, I&#8217;m doing the actions, the heart will follow.<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; takes a while<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; a lot of patience<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; don&#8217;t give up&#8230;. Chaim Amalak has faith in you<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; as do I<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; don&#8217;t passover the religion <br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; shavuot is coming&#8230;.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I love shuvuot<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; flowers and cheescake&#8230;what could be bad?<br \/>\nUser guest8 left the room.<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; I find it interesting that social status made the list<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I&#8217;m always thinking about that, I hate feeling like a loser and I often feel like a loser, particularly in Orthodox Judaism.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; No marriage, no woman, no cry.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I want someone to cherish and she in turn will cook and clean for me!<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; you need marriage and woman to cry?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; I sound like Russian Dragon now lol<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; Dragon<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; and I type like him too!<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; sat out in the sun today&#8230;<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; yay<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; and thought of you<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; was your cam on?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; in my mind&#8230; did you see me?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; yes!<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; I tried to be tzenua<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; covered my knees and elbows<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; biig turn on don&#8217;t you think?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; yes<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; did you wear your sppedos?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; under your tzitzit?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; yes<br \/>\nUser guest9 left the room.<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; Emma seems very tzenua<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; yes<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; i love that about her<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; i&#8217;m writing up my passover in emotional terms rather than specifics so I don&#8217;t offend anyone<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; what do you think is the one thing she simply adores about you?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; I know she is drawn to what she perceives is your realness<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; sincerity,honesty and Aussie wit<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; plus she loves that you have the same taste in music<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; and she simply adores the Roo tune<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; maybe she just wants to be tied down<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; she has a free spirit<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; that is pure<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; i agreeeeeeeeeeeeeee<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I adore her<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; We&#8217;re attracted because of the dynamics of our very earliest years, not explicable who turns us on.<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; I believe you truly do<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; that superceeds the different generations you both grew up in?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; I fear the pensive mood you seem to be in&#8230;.<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; should I be concerned?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; nah, gonna write it out<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; thats good. you don&#8217;t seem to have the energy for excercise<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; and you probably are all out of grape juice<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; matzah is very constipating<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; you must do some of your best writing now&#8230;<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; all that stored up creativity just bursting to get out<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; \ud83d\ude42<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; can&#8217;t wait to read your pearls of wisdom<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; I disect every word because every word has deep meaning<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; lol<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; Emma&#8217;s favorite blog jargon is lol and \/ or lmao<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; you two are rubbing off on each other<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; You&#8217;re past 3 days is quite depressing&#8230;<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; putting me in a funk<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; that plus the death of the lukeford.com site owner <br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; lol<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; you should go to the happy minyan and GET HAPPY<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I prefer to write about dark emotions, the other emotions I enjoy, but don&#8217;t feel driven to write about<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; does writing dark give you inner joy?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; put you in touch with your dark side?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; that gives me perverse happiness<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; once you&#8217;ve been black&#8230; <br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; there&#8217;s no going back<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; you&#8217;d make an awesome goth<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; you don&#8217;t wear enough black<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; ask Emma about eyelash tinting<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; lol<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; you get it!<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; I don&#8217;t get enuff of it!<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; Emma and Chavi = interesting pair<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; loved your line asking if her Mom was at the mik when she converted<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; lol<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; Is this the longest Emma withdrawal?<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; they should make a patch for that<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; Heard that Ralphs sold out of the square matzohs several weeks ago<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; cuz they started selling hem right after Purim&#8230; to early<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; ahh<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Emma Interruptus<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; Could I trouble you to play tiet me kangaroo down sport&#8230;<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; pretty please?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; My Hallel did not really go to well with that tune!<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; and the strange look from my Rabbi was embarrasing to say the least<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; He does not get it<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; I had more than 4 questions&#8230;.<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; big dilemma<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; emma dilemma<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; Could I trouble you to play tiet me kangaroo down sport&#8230;<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; pretty please?<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; My Hallel did not really go to well with that tune!<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; and the strange look from my Rabbi was embarrasing to say the least<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; He does not get it<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; I had more than 4 questions&#8230;.<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; big dilemma<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; emma dilemma<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; I&#8217;m in Aussie Roo Heaven!! multiple!!!<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; I actually think its a great niggun<br \/>\nGuest23:&nbsp; gr8 beat and you can squeeze in a dvar torah<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; encourages group participation&#8230; at least a minyan<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; alla tzoo zamen = all together now<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; I think I prefer the morose Luke better&#8230;..<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; don&#8217;t get tooooooo happy now<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; btw I saw a scrap of bread on top of your dresser<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; wondering how the heck it got there<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; I think you are emotionally attached to your carpet sweeper<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; you seem hypnotized by the back and forth<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; how do you react to the vacumm?<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; too much power for you to handle?<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; less control?<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; you are suppposed to pour some toxic fluid on the chametz you find in your possession on Pesach<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; so that it is inedible<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; oh<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; even to a dog<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; or horse<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; I sure hope Emma mare has a refuah shelema<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; I pray for her<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; I said a misheberach in shul<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; emma had to give her up<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; needs $$ expensive help<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; oh&#8230; thats sad<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; really<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; her Aunt couldn&#8217;t help out?<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; once she was unable to ride her, the battle was lost<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; yeah<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I&#8217;m the same way<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; but you will be a good replacement<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; she will be gentle riding you<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Welcome rabbi<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; please G-d<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; If we have trouble with that, we&#8217;ll go to Rebbitzen Feller<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; we have mezumin<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; seidler-feller to you<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; sorry<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; Rabboisi meer velin bentchin<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; Rubber tires never break<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; yehe shame on you<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; how&#8217;s the transliteration working out for you, luke<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; oy ve<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I hate that stuff<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; prefer to struggle with the holy letters<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; fake it<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; like everyone else<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; how were your seders, luke?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Ok rabbi, how were yours?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I was talking about you at one of the seders with one of your critics<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; what was the sob saying<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; worse than a kapo?<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; and who would dare question my leadership<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; i want names and addresses<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; smack him!<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Should I trademark &quot;Your Moral Leader&quot;?<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; i&#8217;ll bust a cap<br \/>\nQuixoticLass:&nbsp; you haven&#8217;t?<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; no need you own it<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; only with the beit din<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; and in heaven<br \/>\nQuixoticLass:&nbsp; you&#8217;ve been hit by the great matzah shortage of &#8217;08 as well?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; yep!<br \/>\nQuixoticLass:&nbsp; I have one box left and my midget army returns tomorrow<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; and Tam tams!<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; how about that chocolate covered matzo?<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; and KY Jelly<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; gotta get me some<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; doreen is eating them by the boxful<br \/>\nQuixoticLass:&nbsp; what will I feed them?<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; it&#8217;s going straight to her behind<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; sorry<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; no it&#8217;s great<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; i love me a ghetto booty<br \/>\nQuixoticLass:&nbsp; was there anyone in shul this weekend?<br \/>\nQuixoticLass:&nbsp; I just couldn&#8217;t get up.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; not many<br \/>\nQuixoticLass:&nbsp; 3 nights in a row close to 2 am<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; i understand<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; that&#8217;s why i use levitra<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; gets me to the shul on time<br \/>\nQuixoticLass:&nbsp; hee<br \/>\nQuixoticLass:&nbsp; yakum purkan<br \/>\nQuixoticLass:&nbsp; arise my salvation<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; i have a girl for you, luke<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Yes rabbi<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; she&#8217;s got a nice set of Tam Tams<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; nubile coed cutie<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; B&quot;H<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; are you interested?<br \/>\nQuixoticLass:&nbsp; duh.<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; should i have her facebook you?<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; she loves shaggy, unkempt men<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; in fact you&#8217;ll be the 3rd homeless person she&#8217;s dated in a row<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; but does she love to shag?<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; i&#8217;ll put it this way &#8212; doreen taught her everything there is to know about kosher tantric sex<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; Kabbalah Sex?<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; you know that red string?<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; we use a red rope<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; put on some rolling stones<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; either that or klezmer<br \/>\nguest10:&nbsp; pour some kosher for passover sugar on me<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; killer shabbat queen<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; jimi hendrix &#8212; all along the bimah<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; doors &#8212; light my shabbos fire<br \/>\nQuixoticLass:&nbsp; did you check any stores besides ralphs for matzah?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; no<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; luke i thought you were done with the shiksahs<br \/>\nQuixoticLass:&nbsp; I have to go check livonia and eilat before work<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp;&nbsp; you sing like a fairy<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; as long as you don&#8217;t practice onanism<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; you should be fine<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; thank you<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; can i bring you to hillel to speak?<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; luke, i think what you need is a good wingman<\/p>\n<p><!--adsense--><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Click here to join the fun! I&#8217;ve missed you guys. guest3:&nbsp; meet any ladies over the break? Guest23:&nbsp; What are we listening to? YourMoralLeader:&nbsp; scorpions Guest23:&nbsp; I&#8217;m dying for a slice of white bread Guest23:&nbsp; with a shmear of peanut &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2792\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[5471,5467,5472,4422,916,5469,3898,29773,5470,5463,2254,5462,4045,5468,5061,5461,5460,5465,5464,5466],"class_list":["post-2792","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-bore","tag-cardiac-arrest","tag-concentration","tag-davening","tag-followers","tag-hog","tag-horses","tag-judaism","tag-margins","tag-miss-emma","tag-peanut-butter","tag-prayer-session","tag-rituals","tag-scorpions","tag-seder","tag-self-assertion","tag-sex-money-power","tag-shiurim","tag-shmear","tag-white-bread"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2792","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2792"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2792\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2792"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2792"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2792"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}