{"id":2783,"date":"2008-04-17T19:10:35","date_gmt":"2008-04-18T03:10:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2783"},"modified":"2008-04-18T11:35:23","modified_gmt":"2008-04-18T19:35:23","slug":"join-me-live-on-my-cam-for-the-ceremony-of-bedikat-hametz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2783","title":{"rendered":"Join Me Live On My Cam For The Ceremony Of Bedikat Hametz"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/yourmoralleader.camstreams.com\/\">I will go from room to room<\/a> in my hovel <a href=\"http:\/\/www.aish.com\/passlaw\/passlawdefault\/The_Search_for_Chametz.asp\">holding only a candle and a feather and a spoon<\/a> and I will scoop up the remaining crumbs of bread and chant some gnarly incantations.<\/p>\n<p>Following that, I will stage a virtual seder for shut-ins.<\/p>\n<p>This is a spiritual experience not to be missed.<\/p>\n<p>POSTSCRIPT: It was a wild time in the chat room. I had a total of one viewer.<\/p>\n<p>It went like this:<\/p>\n<p>Jimmy:&nbsp; hi Head of Household<br \/>\nJimmy:&nbsp; I&#8217;d love to see what you do for Halloween<br \/>\nUser guest213 entered the room.<br \/>\nJimmy:&nbsp; Hi 213&nbsp; Luke is doing rituals<br \/>\nJimmy:&nbsp; Good work, Luke!<\/p>\n<p>For those of you who missed seeing my ceremony live, a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.lukeford.net\/archives\/updates\/080417.htm\">replay is up on YouTube<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s the first time I&#8217;ve done bedikat hametz. I&#8217;ve always given it the big skip.<\/p>\n<p>Why? I couldn&#8217;t be bothered. But now I&#8217;ve got a cam, it makes these rituals exciting. I can be an exhibitionist and a narcissist and it&#8217;s all in the service of G-d.<\/p>\n<p>If only I could&#8217;ve done it in my speedo.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ll be going away for three days, guys. I&#8217;m going to destroy the temple of Lukeford.net and rebuild it.<\/p>\n<p>I won&#8217;t be making any updates from Friday sundown until Monday sundown. Instead I will be engaged in prayer, Torah study and self-nullification.<\/p>\n<p>Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for me but for yourselves, and for your children&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Verily I say unto thee, to day shalt thou be with me in paradise.<\/p>\n<p>Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Emma:&nbsp; Ohhhh <br \/>\nEmma:&nbsp; Yum<br \/>\nEmma:&nbsp; Whats that?<br \/>\nEmma:&nbsp; Crisps<br \/>\nMoses:&nbsp; the moral leader is eating lettuce with his hands<br \/>\nEmma:&nbsp; lettuce<br \/>\nEmma:&nbsp; Oh<br \/>\nMoses:&nbsp; that lettuce better be kosher<br \/>\nEmma:&nbsp; I&#8217;m blind<br \/>\nEmma:&nbsp; Luke you eat very healthy<br \/>\nEmma:&nbsp; Thats awesome<br \/>\nMoses:&nbsp; you wouldnt believe how fast noah eats&#8230;it&#8217;s like there&#8217;s another flood coming<br \/>\nMoses:&nbsp; luke, would you like to eat dinner with solomon and i sometime?<br \/>\nMoses:&nbsp; we go out to the bar, drink wine and throw darts at a picture of herrod<br \/>\nEmma:&nbsp; Ok I&#8217;m going to bed&#8230; I guess you won&#8217;t be on untill Monday then?<br \/>\nRunForrest:&nbsp; Awww i know that movie<br \/>\nRunForrest:&nbsp; it&#8217;s National Treasure<br \/>\nRunForrest:&nbsp; awesome to hear it<br \/>\nMoses:&nbsp; luke, after shabbat we go out bowling&#8230;usually it&#8217;s kings vs. prophets&#8230;we always kick their butts<br \/>\nMoses:&nbsp; luke&#8230;i must leave you for a while&#8230;charlton heston finally showed up in heaven&#8230;we&#8217;re going to watch our movie and compare notes.<br \/>\nWELSH:&nbsp; good to see you&#8217;ve had a tidy!!<br \/>\nJimmy:&nbsp; Rev Des claimed you didn&#8217;t officially convert&nbsp; He&#8217;s full of it right?<br \/>\nJimmy:&nbsp; I will watch it many times Luke!<br \/>\nguest214:&nbsp; HEY MORAL LEADER<br \/>\nJimmy:&nbsp; I believe Luke<br \/>\nPLAYA:&nbsp; SO WAT&#8217;S THIS ABOUT<br \/>\nGROVER:&nbsp; will we see it here?<br \/>\nJimmy:&nbsp; Luke just finish a ritual.&nbsp; Now uploading it to Youtube<br \/>\nJimmy:&nbsp; Luke you said before youre doing $10\/day&nbsp; Surely youre doing better now?<br \/>\nUser PLAYA changed their name to WESTSIDEDAGRANDE.<br \/>\nGROVER:&nbsp; ur starting to look&nbsp; like&nbsp; a quaker luke<br \/>\nWESTSIDEDAGRANDE:&nbsp; WAT DOES THIS CAM SUPPOSED 2 BE ABOUT<br \/>\nJimmy:&nbsp; yeah becuz the moustache and beard aren&#8217;t connected thickly<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; nope jimmy, doing worse<br \/>\nJimmy:&nbsp; Luke I am trying to think of a new schtick for you everyday<br \/>\nGROVER:&nbsp; what is your religion luke ? not that it matters to me<br \/>\nWESTSIDEDAGRANDE:&nbsp; ARE YOU GUYS GAY<br \/>\nGROVER:&nbsp; i think hes a religion teacher<br \/>\nWESTSIDEDAGRANDE:&nbsp; MORAL LEADER<br \/>\nGROVER:&nbsp; christ ur a rabbi<br \/>\nGROVER:&nbsp; an australian rabbi wow<br \/>\nGORDO:&nbsp; MAN THIS IS GAY AND UR GAY MORAL LEADER<br \/>\nGROVER:&nbsp; i just find it bizarre<\/p>\n<p>\nUser DBL185 changed their name to RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; hi rabbi<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; call me chuck<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Hi chuck<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; i think you should take down all slander of me from your site<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; i was defending the jewish people<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; i did what i had to!<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; that woman was asking for it<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; these right-wing AIPAC types should stuff it<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; exactly<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; you should join me and my sex therapist wife for shabbat dinner sometime<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; yes!<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; we can give you some good advice<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; about women<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; clearly you need it<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I&#8217;ve been having some erectile dysfunction<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Do you have any suggestions?<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; reading the racy passages of the talmud always works for me<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; that or a picture of Rabin<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I must try that!<br \/>\nUser guest226 changed their name to tim.<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; hi<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; hi tiny<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; you might want to try shaving &#8212; growing all that hair could be drawing all the blood away from your zayin<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; what are you laughing about? share it with the class<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=yEBE2YWmBSQ<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; my vid<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; Aydar?<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; you sound like a n00b<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; is that good?<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; you can&#8217;t be a trusted authority if you sound like you&#8217;re reading it all for the first time<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; AD-DAR<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; ahh<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; say it<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; AW-DAR<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; !<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; more like that<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; AWW-DAR<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; how do you pronounce awe<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; something in between<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; you wacky foreigners<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; who taught you hebrew anyway<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; AWE like shock and AWE<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; or AW SHUCKS<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; telephone<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; CLEAN UP<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; QUICK!<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; girl coming over?<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; fabreeze<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; spray spray spray<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; move the cat box to the garage!<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; NO<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; SPRAYYYY<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; COLOGNE<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; take an irish shower<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; that&#8217;s what i do<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; ALL MEN&#8217;S APARTMENTS STINK!<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; SPRAY SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!11<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; NOW!<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; OPEN THE WINDOWS!<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; LET A DRAFT THROUGH!<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; NO <br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; clean up that crap on the left side of the bookcase<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; right!<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; looks like a sack of trash!<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; looks like a bear had a field day in there<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; hahaha<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; SOFT MUSIC<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; LIGHTS LOW<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; CLEAN THE BATHROOM<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; WIPE THE SEAT<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; KRIKIE! WHAT A MESS!<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; Hi sole<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; he&#8217;s getting ready for company.<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; there you go<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; that&#8217;s a start<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; TUCK YOUR SHIRT IN!<br \/>\nsolepcist:&nbsp; What a crock of s**t! You are not Rabbi Feller.<br \/>\nRabbiChaimSeidlerFeller:&nbsp; don&#8217;t<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; DO<br \/>\nsolepcist:&nbsp; What a crock of s**t!<br \/>\ntim:&nbsp; that&#8217;s not nice, solepcist<\/p>\n<p><!--adsense--><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I will go from room to room in my hovel holding only a candle and a feather and a spoon and I will scoop up the remaining crumbs of bread and chant some gnarly incantations. Following that, I will stage &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2783\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1968,21],"tags":[5352,5353,5083,824,5089,5061,2247,5088],"class_list":["post-2783","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-passover","category-personal","tag-crumbs-of-bread","tag-gnarly","tag-hametz","tag-hovel","tag-ins","tag-seder","tag-spiritual-experience","tag-spoon"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.10 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I will go from room to room in my hovel holding only a candle and a feather and a spoon and I will scoop up the remaining crumbs of bread and chant some gnarly incantations. 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