{"id":2763,"date":"2008-04-16T10:23:30","date_gmt":"2008-04-16T18:23:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2763"},"modified":"2008-04-16T11:25:37","modified_gmt":"2008-04-16T19:25:37","slug":"satan-has-me-by-the-balls","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2763","title":{"rendered":"Satan Has Me By The Balls"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>And I like it.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s the problem.<\/p>\n<p>I like it.<\/p>\n<p>I should be cleaning for Passover but the Evil One has me in his grip and it feels good!<\/p>\n<p>It makes me tingle all over.<\/p>\n<p>I want to sing and dance and fornicate.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t feel this excited when I am davening.<\/p>\n<p>Oh wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from this burden of sin?<\/p>\n<p>I want to get married. I want to have children and send them to yeshiva. Oy, how will I ever overcome my sinful propensities?<\/p>\n<p>Wickedness, impurity, uncleanliness, tame, lust, sin, gluttony, envy, jealousy. You name the sin, I do it. Wicked wicked man. Will this be the year I leave Egypt or am I just too comfy there?<\/p>\n<p>I think I&#8217;m going to lie down.<\/p>\n<p><!--adsense--><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>And I like it. That&#8217;s the problem. I like it. I should be cleaning for Passover but the Evil One has me in his grip and it feels good! It makes me tingle all over. I want to sing and &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2763\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[5118,4422,3761,5117,5115,5116,4825,5114,1208,30324,1481,5113,4391,29806],"class_list":["post-2763","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-balls","tag-davening","tag-egypt","tag-envy","tag-evil-one","tag-impurity","tag-jealousy","tag-oh-wretched-man","tag-oy","tag-passover","tag-satan","tag-wicked-wicked-man","tag-wickedness","tag-yeshiva"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2763","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2763"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2763\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2763"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2763"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2763"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}