{"id":2717,"date":"2008-04-10T13:20:25","date_gmt":"2008-04-10T21:20:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2717"},"modified":"2008-04-11T15:56:00","modified_gmt":"2008-04-11T23:56:00","slug":"i-eat-lunch-with-the-homeless","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2717","title":{"rendered":"I Eat Lunch With The Homeless"},"content":{"rendered":"

Video<\/a><\/p>\n

At 11:45 a.m. as I was preparing to snag my beauty rest in the sun, I got a message that I could get a free lunch at a local shul that feeds the homeless. It seemed like a good deal at the time. I had no idea it was going to be a fleishig (meat) meal.<\/p>\n

I put on some pants and charge up the street. There’s nothing like the word "free" to get me excited. Normally I don’t go to these things because I’m trying to climb up in the world, not down, and I don’t want to spend my good money buying lunch for some homeless person so he can free up his cash to buy crack.<\/p>\n

The homeless line up outside the shul.<\/p>\n

I stand off to the side and read the Jewish Journal.<\/p>\n

Around 12:15 p.m., we file in.<\/p>\n

The crowd’s hungry. I wonder if there will be enough food. Perhaps I’ll be called upon to multiply the loaves and fishes again and do that ol’ turn water into wine trick.<\/p>\n

I’m getting sick of being a messianic figure for others’ amusement.<\/p>\n

If you eat of this food from Jeff’s Gourmet, you’ll hunger again, but if you eat from the fruit of my teachings, you’ll live forever.<\/p>\n

As usual, I select the seat farthest from everybody else. I spread out my newspaper and pull out a John Gray Mars & Venus & stress book for company.<\/p>\n

The rabbi seems to know the name of every homeless person (about 50).<\/p>\n

I expected they would be dirty and smelly but they’re not. Their manners are every bit the equal of hungry Orthodox Jews at kiddush Saturday morning.<\/p>\n

I realize there are only a few checks and a bottle of lithium between me and them.<\/p>\n

One homeless bloke asks the rabbi for Judaism’s view of UFOs.<\/p>\n

"The Torah’s strangely silent about UFOs," says the rabbi, "but Rabbi Norman Lamm of Yeshiva University wrote a whole essay about the topic…"<\/p>\n

A high-powered attorney calls the lunch to order. He inquires why there are fewer people this month than last.<\/p>\n

"That’s because government checks come out on the first," people yell out.<\/p>\n

"So it’s a bad idea to hold lunches during the first week of the month," the rabbi asks.<\/p>\n

"Not for us," says one bloke who looks like he served time in the armed forces. "We don’t get checks."<\/p>\n

"People aren’t as eager for free lunches when they have cash in their pocket," says another man.<\/p>\n

I hear talk about "crack houses."<\/p>\n

The official item of discussion is Hillary Clinton. Should she withdraw from the campaign?<\/p>\n

Several of the homeless want to talk about pastor Jeremiah Wright "spewing racial hatred."<\/p>\n

This crowd is as informed on current events as most Jews with mortgages.<\/p>\n

A rabbi notes that several Jewish commentators on the issue said that they didn’t see a big problem with Jeremiah Wright. That they often don’t agree with what their rabbi preaches.<\/p>\n

"I took offense," says the rabbi. "If your religious leader is a racist, I don’t get it…"<\/p>\n

Half the room says the country is ready to elect a woman or a black man as president.<\/p>\n

I’m enjoying myself.<\/p>\n

I have a bad history in this regard.<\/p>\n

When some retarded kids came to my school in third grade, I made fun of them (behind their back).<\/p>\n

When mentally ill people from the local asylum walked past me in the street, I tried to take advantage of their mental illness and bargain for the radios they carried (they never went for it).<\/p>\n

I want to climb up the social ladder, not down.<\/p>\n

I heard a sermon the other day telling the stories of many of the homeless I pass in the street. It made them more real to me. I want to ignore them. There’s one couple I’m always nice to because I always have to pass them on the way to and from mincha.<\/p>\n

I don’t give money to the homeless. Almost all of them are either mentally ill or addicted to drugs and\/or alcohol.<\/p>\n

Now I’m listening to them talk and they’re changing to me. Next time I see one on the street, I’ll likely strike up a conversation.<\/p>\n

There’s one old bloke with a ball I always talk to. It makes me feel like a mentch and then I can go back to raping and pillaging.<\/p>\n

There’s little difference in the sophistication of today’s political discourse than that which goes on the cable TV talkfests such as Hardball.<\/p>\n

The manners of the homeless are very bit the equal of the Jews I know with mortgages. The man opposite me asks my permission to dump stuff on my used plate.<\/p>\n

The military-looking man wonders if the abuse John McCain suffered as a POW in Vietnam means he doesn’t have it all together upstairs.<\/p>\n

He talks about how some North Vietnamese saved McCain’s life when his plane crashed while others "beat the s—, oh, sorry rabbi, beat him up…"<\/p>\n

"You shouldn’t have picked a political topic," says one man. "We’ve become a less tolerant country in the past 20 years."<\/p>\n

I understand that sentiment. As soon as I heard the topic was politics, I felt myself freezing up and worrying about how volatile people would get with their opinions.<\/p>\n

It turns out it is no more volatile a crowd than Jews with mortgages.<\/p>\n

A rabbi is asked to say a few words.<\/p>\n

"Words I’ve always got," he says.<\/p>\n

There were more women than men among the homeless. Most of the people took at least as much pride in their appearance than I do. Yes, I definitely looked shaggier and more homeless than most of them.<\/p>\n

When I pass homeless in the street these days, they are as likely to offer me money as to ask for it.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Video At 11:45 a.m. as I was preparing to snag my beauty rest in the sun, I got a message that I could get a free lunch at a local shul that feeds the homeless. It seemed like a good … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,56],"tags":[4385,4659,2011,4658,4657,4660,4655,29908,4654,29787,4661,29773,4656,4653,1085,700,1194,671,4662,30103],"class_list":["post-2717","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","category-picorobertson","tag-bad-idea","tag-beauty-rest","tag-bloke","tag-crack-houses","tag-free-lunch","tag-free-lunches","tag-government-checks","tag-hillary-clinton","tag-homeless-person","tag-jewish-journal","tag-john-gray","tag-judaism","tag-meat-meal","tag-norman-lamm","tag-orthodox-jews","tag-rabbi","tag-saturday-morning","tag-shul","tag-ufos","tag-yeshiva-university"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2717","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2717"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2717\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}