{"id":2705,"date":"2008-04-09T07:50:56","date_gmt":"2008-04-09T15:50:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2705"},"modified":"2008-04-09T12:36:25","modified_gmt":"2008-04-09T20:36:25","slug":"im-going-to-start-giving-hair-cuts-in-my-spare-time-so-i-can-have-extra-money-to-buy-torah-books","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2705","title":{"rendered":"I’m Going To Start Giving Hair Cuts & Facials In My Spare Time So I Can Have Extra Money To Buy Torah Books"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve been cutting my own hair for the past three months. I just gave myself a severe trim this morning. Come into my cam<\/a> and give me some feedback. Perhaps I have a future in the beauty profession?<\/p>\n

A Jew emails: "u look great i am sure all of Hollywood will use u as a barber your hair is nicer than that faggot who ran for president because his wife got cancer."<\/p>\n

You know how strippers say they’re using the money from their tawdry work to pay for college? Well, my story is that I’m using my money on sacred texts such as the masechta Bava Kama Sutra.<\/p>\n

If I were a rich man, I’d sit in the synagogue seven hours a day and discuss the holy books.<\/p>\n

I’m getting a lot of linky love these days from the DailyYid<\/a>, which gives the Jew everything he needs to know in Yiddish each day to serve his Maker.<\/p>\n

\nguest33:  You’re an idiot who thinks he’s another Waco type leader.  Get real man,  you’re crazy!!!
\nUser RevDesmondFord (72.166.140.2) entered the room.
\nJimmy:  Luke I have to admit I get a kick out of the guy who writes to you under RevDesmondFord
\nRevDesmondFord:  G’day, son! Sinkers or floaters today, you loathsome little anti-Semite?
\nRevDesmondFord:  You look fair-dinkum DERANGED! I ought to make you eat a squashed cane toad.
\nguest38:  What’s a sinker and a floater? Is that a Lettermen reference of some sort?
\nRevDesmondFord:  Ask my ungrateful, deceitful whelp of a son!
\nJimmy:  wait a min  I just mentioned the Rev and then he showed up
\nRevDesmondFord:  It’s magic, mate!
\nYourMoralLeader:  Sorry dad
\nYourMoralLeader:  Floaters today, dad
\nRevDesmondFord:  This is a revolting display of narcissism, son. You sure are sorry!
\nJimmy:  Youre the best part of the Luke Ford genre Dad
\nYourMoralLeader:  Yes, I am.
\nYourMoralLeader:  It’s an honor to have you in my chat room, pops.
\nYourMoralLeader:  How are you?
\nguest38:  I need to kow if I’m a floater or a sinker. My body fat’s not that low, but I’m also big-boned.
\nYourMoralLeader:  It refers to feces in the toilet bowl.
\nRevDesmondFord:  I don’t appreciate the sarcasm, sunny Jim. If I were there, I’d box your ears and send you into the family privy to examine your step-mum’s spoor as sinkers or floaters.
\nguest38:  Ah, in that case, I’m a rabid anti-floatite.
\nRevDesmondFord:  But I’d probably just find you pleasring yourself to what she cast off.
\nJimmy:  Now we both cheesed off dad
\nRevDesmondFord:  But speaking of stools in a toilet bowl, how’s your career going?
\nYourMoralLeader:  What do you think of masturbation, dad?
\nYourMoralLeader:  Not very well, dad. Got a job for me?
\nYourMoralLeader:  Any dating tips?
\nguest38:  OMG, youa re NOT talking about this with your pops.
\nRevDesmondFord:  Perhaps the KKK might employ you given your obsessive anti-Semitism, y’ phony ba***rd.
\nJimmy:  I am afraid its true 38
\nUser RevDesmondFord left the room.
\nQuixoticLass:  if you get tips from "dating" you’re not really dating, you’re working.
\nYourMoralLeader:  Dad, I had a couple of sheilas over to the hovel in the past few weeks and I read them your "One F—ed Up Aussie’s Opinion" column from 1999. They found it hysterical.
\nJimmy:  I see where you get yr sense of humor Luke
\nYourMoralLeader:  he’s tough on me but Rev Des loves me in his own way<\/p>\n

\nKhunDiddy:  hahahaaaaa
\nEmma:  Put your lips together and blow..
\nQuixoticLass:  see?  Emma knows. \ud83d\ude42
\nKhunDiddy:  Bogey and Lauren
\nQuixoticLass:  emma, all the men are really drooling now.
\nKhunDiddy:  we’ll always have Paris
\nEmma:  Hmm why
\nQuixoticLass:  they love it when a woman talks about blowing
\nKhunDiddy:  Me, I’ll always have Bangkok…screw Paris
\nKhunDiddy:  Luke I’ve been here several minutes and you haven’t stopped pushing food int your pie hole
\nQuixoticLass:  it’s lunch time
\nEmma:  Yep
\nQuixoticLass:  people eat
\nKhunDiddy:  you’re grazing like a hungry shark
\nnicolletista:  imagine how surprised i was when i found that failedmessiah wasn’t just a redirect to luke’s site
\nQuixoticLass:  just most people don’t eat on cam
\nKhunDiddy:  or floss their teeth
\nLilithena:  Don’t mind me.  I’m writing a paper on this chat room.  "Dominance and Display in a Chat Room"
\nKhunDiddy:  send me a copy
\nKhunDiddy:  make is saucy
\nKhunDiddy:  make stuff up
\nQuixoticLass:  don’t have to make stuff up to make it saucy
\nKhunDiddy:  true true You make it saucy Q girl
\nnicolletista:  all right then
\nKhunDiddy:  you and Emma
\nQuixoticLass:  *curtsies*
\nUser nicolletista left the room.
\nKhunDiddy:  where is that confused 19 yr old who was here last week? 
\nEmma:  She never came back
\nYourMoralLeader:  who was that?
\nKhunDiddy:  I hoe she got help…she sounded suicidal
\nKhunDiddy:  I think her name was
\nEmma:  The girl who wanted a man not a boy
\nEmma:  Broke up with her bf
\nYourMoralLeader:  so many of those
\nKhunDiddy:  I forgot…she was taking a jewish guy with a small one
\nKhunDiddy:  no not you..a real jew
\nYourMoralLeader:  that was just chaim amalek
\nKhunDiddy:  OH….fooled me
\nEmma:  mmm
\nKhunDiddy:  again
\nQuixoticLass:  yeah he changed his name to OneHotChick
\nYourMoralLeader:  you guys are so horny and easy
\nKhunDiddy:  hahahaaaa
\nQuixoticLass:  or something like that
\nYourMoralLeader:  I live my life for higher values
\nYourMoralLeader:  hence dont get fooled so much
\nUser guest49 left the room.
\nEmma:  lol
\nKhunDiddy:  you live your life stuffing food in your mouth
\nKhunDiddy:  Luke are you wrapping taliban again today?
\nQuixoticLass:  you do that in the morning
\nKhunDiddy:  what if you forget?
\nEmma:  Oops
\nKhunDiddy:  General Preteus is in town…wrap Taliban
\nLilithena:  I’ve spent more time observing you than Jane Goodall did apes
\nLilithena:  And I think I understand the connectedness among you well enough to describe who each of you is and the role that you play in this ecosystem
\nLilithena:  When it gets this quiet, why do people stay?
\nQuixoticLass:  compulsion
\nQuixoticLass:  we’re waiting for moshiach
\nQuixoticLass:  or Gudot, whoever shows up first
\nLilithena:  What role does sexual fantasizing play in your decision to be here instead of out taking a walk or running errands?
\nQuixoticLass:  I’m at work.  Talking here is more entertaining than editing the Yizkor book
\nEmma:  My work is over…..<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve been cutting my own hair for the past three months. I just gave myself a severe trim this morning. Come into my cam and give me some feedback. Perhaps I have a future in the beauty profession? A Jew … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[4535,4534,2849,4536,4537,29981],"class_list":["post-2705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-extra-money","tag-hair-cuts","tag-profession","tag-spare-time","tag-three-months","tag-torah"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t