{"id":2693,"date":"2008-04-08T12:45:36","date_gmt":"2008-04-08T20:45:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2693"},"modified":"2008-04-08T12:59:16","modified_gmt":"2008-04-08T20:59:16","slug":"i-demonstrate-and-explain-tefillin-to-my-cam-audience","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2693","title":{"rendered":"I Demonstrate And Explain Tefillin To My Cam Audience"},"content":{"rendered":"

From my live cam chat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Russian: Is he checking his blood pressure?
\nuntpunt:  ohh yeeaaahhh
\nRussianDragon:  is that bulletproof
\nKhunDiddy:  either that or strapping on a suicide vest
\nEmma:  What is that
\nQuixoticLass:  no, bullets would go through
\ncuntpunt:  its a tefillin vest so sins dont stick to ya<\/p>\n

Emma:  I dont get it
\nKhunDiddy:  if they don’t stick to you where do they go lady?
\nQuixoticLass:  tefillin….mmmm so sexy
\nRussianDragon:  interesting
\nEmma:  lmfao
\nRussianDragon:  jewclass 101
\ncuntpunt:  satan was that you?
\nKhunDiddy:  hahahaaa
\nQuixoticLass:  nothing sexier than a religious man wrapped in leather straps
\nKhunDiddy:  he’s going to blow himself up
\nEmma:  lol
\nRussianDragon:  are we supposed to see a mujahidin creep up on you now
\ncuntpunt:  From Your Wisdom you, O supreme God, may you imbue me; From your understanding give me understanding; with your kindness do greatly with me; with your power cut down my foes and rebels. May you pour goodly oil upon the seven arms of the menorah, to cause
\nKhunDiddy:  Luke looks like a miner going into a cave
\nRussianDragon:  wow this takes time to prepare
\ncuntpunt:  You should be standing when putting on or taking off tefillin. While wearing them you may sit, but while putting them on or taking them off you should be standing.
\nEmma:  Now what happens
\nRussianDragon:  you look impressive luke
\nYourMoralLeader:  I blog
\nKhunDiddy:  does that thing have a light on it?
\ncuntpunt:  ROCKSTAR!!!
\nEmma:  Funky
\nKhunDiddy:  does it come with batteries?
\nRussianDragon:  what’s in the box luke
\nYourMoralLeader:  I have to be holy while wearing these
\nRussianDragon:  boxes
\nYourMoralLeader:  verses from torah
\nRussianDragon:  did you say horny
\nKhunDiddy:  Emma does Luke’s gut turn you on?
\nEmma:  Ah
\nRussianDragon:  aha
\nEmma:  Does it turn you on?
\nRussianDragon:  if you get turned on by this
\nKhunDiddy:  not in the least YOU turn me on
\nEmma:  lol
\nRussianDragon:  you should consider donating you brain to science
\nKhunDiddy:  love that blue eye
\nKhunDiddy:  I only saw one
\ncuntpunt:   When putting on   tefillin it is very important to have a clean body. In addition to general cleanliness, one must be especially careful to be clean after going to the bathroom.
\ncuntpunt:  One should go to the bathroom before putting on the tefillin, or at least be absolutely sure he will not have to go while wearing the tefillin. If while wearing tefillin you feel the need to go, you must remove the tefillin and go.
\ncuntpunt:  If you feel the need to pass gas while wearing tefillin, you must first remove your tefillin.
\nEmma:  So you do this everyday Luke?
\nRussianDragon:  i’m learning here
\nQuixoticLass:  you can always tell a religious man…he has tefillin head
\nKhunDiddy:  if you go to the bathroom WITH teffilin then what happens?
\nYourMoralLeader:  yes except for shabbat
\nEmma:  Ok I see
\nQuixoticLass:  like hat head, only more virtuous
\nKhunDiddy:  Is G-D angry?
\ncuntpunt:  Never take tefillin or any holy item into a bathroom. While wearing tefillin, one should only think about clean things.. As well as speaking out loud.
\nKhunDiddy:  why not
\nKhunDiddy:  when I where tefillin I only think of EMMA
\nKhunDiddy:  and her sister
\nEmma:  Lol how holy
\nRussianDragon:  diddy you should take a cold shower
\nEmma:  lol yeah
\nRussianDragon:  i helped a bit for me
\nRussianDragon:  :p
\nKhunDiddy:  Luke looks like he’s ready to make a Swords and sandals movie
\nEmma:  Interesting Luke..thanks for showing
\ncuntpunt:  think clean things LUKE clean
\nKhunDiddy:  I’m glad the shirt is back on
\ncuntpunt:  Thank you, Luke
\nYourMoralLeader:  I did not think of Emma while I had the tefillin on.
\nYourMoralLeader:  Nor her sisters.
\nRussianDragon:  i don’t believe you luke
\nKhunDiddy:  I can’t think clean thoughts looking at a shirtless Luke
\nRussianDragon:  sin is all over your beard
\nEmma:  I hope not my sisters lol
\nKhunDiddy:  maybe more…you know those Catholics..they knock the kids out like rabbits
\nQuixoticLass:  I wonder if you have tefillin that are pasul, can you take the parchments out and use the straps for something else, or do you need to put the whole thing in the geniza?
\nEmma:  3 including moi
\ncuntpunt:  russian dragon, that you in the pic below?
\nRussianDragon:  aha ok
\nRussianDragon:  yes
\nRussianDragon:  one grown up one small
\nKhunDiddy:  MOI  that sounds like a Thai name
\nYourMoralLeader:  I didn’t even think about the cute sisters.
\ncuntpunt:  sexy, very sexy
\nRussianDragon:  sounds french to me<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From my live cam chat: Russian: Is he checking his blood pressure? untpunt:  ohh yeeaaahhh RussianDragon:  is that bulletproof KhunDiddy:  either that or strapping on a suicide vest Emma:  What is that QuixoticLass:  no, bullets would go through cuntpunt:  its … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[4403,4408,30472,4405,4407,4399,897,4396,902,4400,4398,647,4401,4404,4409,4402,4397,1201,29981,4406],"class_list":["post-2693","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-aha","tag-bullets","tag-emma","tag-foes","tag-kindness","tag-leather-straps","tag-live-cam-chat","tag-lmfao","tag-lol","tag-menorah","tag-mujahidin","tag-nbsp","tag-nothing-sexier","tag-ohh","tag-rebels","tag-religious-man","tag-supreme-god","tag-tefillin","tag-torah","tag-vest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2693","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2693"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2693\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2693"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2693"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2693"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}