{"id":2687,"date":"2008-04-08T09:20:11","date_gmt":"2008-04-08T17:20:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2687"},"modified":"2008-04-08T13:54:37","modified_gmt":"2008-04-08T21:54:37","slug":"im-live-on-my-cam-and-spreading-lashon-hara","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2687","title":{"rendered":"I’m Live On My Cam And Spreading Lashon Hara"},"content":{"rendered":"

You don’t want to miss this juicy conversation<\/a>:<\/p>\n

SmiterOfShvartza:  Ahhh, just the two of us.
\nSmiterOfShvartza:  I wish you were trustworthy
\nSmiterOfShvartza:  if you were, I’d compliment you on the attractiveness of Emma
\nSmiterOfShvartza:  but I am sure you got that photo from a phonesex ad
\nSmiterOfShvartza:  the interview about chico wang had to be the most awkwardly worded thing ever. The one written by the gilford reposrter
\nSmiterOfShvartza:  I guess she didn;t have Gram Ponantes number
\nSmiterOfShvartza:  all right I gotta go. I just dropped in to try to get Emmas number
\nguest59:  RIP Chico Wang – unless he really did murder his wife
\nguest8:  beard all itchy?
\nguest59:  Is it possible for your beard to grow out until it is longer than your petzel?
\nguest8:  do you have a beard, 59?
\nguest59:  I shaved it off when I gave up women
\nguest6:  what is "wrap tefillin"????
\nguest59:  Well, it is a seldom discussed Jewish practice that involves men and leather goods.
\nguest6:  i am serious and he isn’t answering any of my questions
\nguest59:  Not as shameful as having a beauty pageant for camels, as the arabs have
\nguest59:  I will answer all of your questions
\nguest8:  i like that beauty pagent idea.
\nguest6:  and who are you 58? lol
\nguest59:  http:\/\/news.yahoo.com\/s\/afp\/20080407\/od_afp\/uaegulffestivalcameloffbeat_080407201354
\nYourMoralLeader:  welcome
\nguest8:  i dont know how welcome.
\nguest59:  What is less moral, spending millions on a camel in a camel beauty pageant, or oggling women in porn?
\nguest59:  We got rid of Eliot Spitzer for rending a woman for a few thousand, but over there, a camel can go for $2.7 million if she’s pretty enough
\nguest59:  Not sure if this was a one hump or two gal
\nguest59:  I hope he got both humps
\nguest59:  renting a woman, not rending
\nguest6:  so is this all you do all day?
\nguest59:  YES
\nYourMoralLeader:  yes, is that wrong?
\nguest6:  no i was just asking
\nguest59:  Blogging is hard work which, as the NY Times has reported, can kill just as mining coal can kill
\nguest59:  But at least blogging adds no greenhouse gases
\nYourMoralLeader:  I only make it look easy
\nguest59:  Bloggers are among the least appreciated people in society.
\nguest59:  Even prostitutes get their day in the sun
\nguest59:  We live in an age where a pretty camel fetches 2.7 million, but a blogger goes without health insurance
\nguest59:  The madness of the era
\nYourMoralLeader:  crazy
\nguest59:  Luke needs sponsorship. 
\nguest6:  how old are you moral?
\nYourMoralLeader:  42
\nguest59:  Da Vinci had it.
\nYourMoralLeader:  how about some gaming companies?
\nQuixoticLass:  I’m WAY too gullible.
\nQuixoticLass:  and now that you know that, you have a moral responsibility to not fool me.
\nQuixoticLass:  YML  honestly, sometimes I don’t know whether I’d rather smack you upside the head or give you a hug.
\nQuixoticLass:  when the rabbi was talking about gossip was he looking directly at you the whole time, or was he able to speak to the whole room?
\nYourMoralLeader:  whole room
\nYourMoralLeader:  the irish are really well educated right?
\nYourMoralLeader:  they saved civilization and all
\nRussianDragon:  only the women i fear
\nRussianDragon:  the men are to drunk to remember anything
\nQuixoticLass:  that peanut butter would go well with my low fat chocolatey cat cookies for people
\nRevDesmondFord:  sinkers or floaters today, boy?
\nYourMoralLeader:  Hi dad
\nYourMoralLeader:  sinkers I am afraid.
\nYourMoralLeader:  Is that a sin?
\nRevDesmondFord:  You are fair-dinkum sinker, son…and no one should suffer a whelp like you. I knew from the start when you were suckling on sugar-teats and peppermint sticks that you were no good. What do you do with a sinker? Here in Oz, we pull the handle and flush.
\nQuixoticLass:  YML are you going to sell your chametz?
\nYourMoralLeader:  I won’t have any chametz. Tossing it all or giving it to Rev. Des.
\nQuixoticLass:  you should sell it just in case…to cover the crumbs and stuff you miss.
\nQuixoticLass:  stuff in your books…
\nQuixoticLass:  pockets…
\nYourMoralLeader:  all this legalism, complicated religion.
\nQuixoticLass:  you don’t like the ritual and all the little rules? 
\nYourMoralLeader:  i get sick of it
\nQuixoticLass:  you wear tzit tzit
\nYourMoralLeader:  I don’t believe in selling off your chametz to a non-jew unless you’re a major store-owner or something
\nYourMoralLeader:  I get rid of my spiritual chametz by studying Torah<\/p>\n

 put that bag on your head luke
\nRussianDragon:  love bites
\ncuntpunt:  daaammnnn
\nRussianDragon:  it nibbles too
\nQuixoticLass:  and sometimes it spanks
\ncuntpunt:  ok russian, I’ll send the plane ticket, you bring the chocolate…
\nRussianDragon:  lol
\ncuntpunt:  your pic is distracting, wrap the tefillin again Luke
\nRussianDragon:  let’s all pray
\nRussianDragon:  for salvation
\nQuixoticLass:  will a shidduch be made in this chat room?
\ncuntpunt:  I pray for a white russian to drink up and pass out on
\ncuntpunt:  or under..either one
\nQuixoticLass:  YML don’t move like that, it’s too suggestive
\nRussianDragon:  you don’t wanna wear your teffilin after that
\ncuntpunt:  hes gonna get down
\ncuntpunt:  oh yeah, sweat
\nEmma:  Or fall down
\ncuntpunt:  work it Luke, work it goood
\nRussianDragon:  america’s funniest jew videos
\ncuntpunt:  someone get that man a glass
\nRussianDragon:  jumping jacks plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
\nEmma:  Laura wants you to do an excersise
\nYourMoralLeader:  The first time Emma came in here, I was working out
\nYourMoralLeader:  It’s how I captured her heart!
\nEmma:  Laura: remeber when you just did your squats up against the wall, see how long you can hold your postion whilst squatting.
\nRussianDragon:  he has done a lot of squatting lately
\nRussianDragon:  wonder why
\nEmma:  Laura: best exersise ever.
\nLilithena:  This is the second time I’ve seen this
\nRussianDragon:  welcome
\nLilithena:  I would not accept a lift from this man.
\nLilithena:  Better to walk along the road in the rain
\nQuixoticLass:  and you haven’t even seen his car!
\nRussianDragon:  it’s called the bangbus
\nQuixoticLass:  it’s billy blanks everyone!
\nLilithena:  These images disturb me.
\nLilithena:  I am going to have dreams about them
\nLilithena:  I’ve seen animals do this in jungle parks
\nQuixoticLass:  I’m only a stripper for a audience of one.
\nYourMoralLeader:  and he has to be a rabbi
\nQuixoticLass:  I don’t strip for rabbis anymore
\nLilithena:  Were they poor tippers?
\nQuixoticLass:  hahaha
\nElazarMuskin:  Luke I came by Saturday at 7:45 but you didn’t come out
\nYourMoralLeader:  I’m sorry, I was napping.
\nElazarMuskin:  I assumed you’d had misgivings
\nElazarMuskin:  And so today…we’re making a mockery of the tefillin?
\nLilithena:  A gay man who is forced to grow his own beard because he does not know any women who will occupy that role for him
\nYourMoralLeader:  No mockery rabbi.
\nYourMoralLeader:  Just explaining the holiness of them.
\nLilithena:  Rabbi, do you folks keep tabs on Luke?
\ncuntpunt:  For the past twenty-one years, Rabbi Elazar Muskin has served as the Rabbi of the Young Israel of Century City in Los Angeles, California.
\nLilithena:  Maybe that’s why the cam exists, to enable you to check in on Luke 24\/7
\nElazarMuskin:  We hear things
\nLilithena:  gossip is not good
\ncuntpunt:  gossip is sinful
\nQuixoticLass:  gossip gets your gullible friends in trouble
\ncuntpunt:  gossip is the root of evil
\nYourMoralLeader:  Everything I do, everyone I do, it’s a sin.
\nQuixoticLass:   oh ho
\nRussianDragon:  ok i’m back
\nElazarMuskin:  Gossip only becomes a sin when one believes it
\nYourMoralLeader:  Got any scoop, rabbi?
\nQuixoticLass:  great put the burden on the gullible friend
\ncuntpunt:  we wrapped tefillin today rabbi
\nElazarMuskin:  No scoop today
\nYourMoralLeader:  Rabbi, which shul in the neighborhood is the most anal in its megillah reading? YICC?
\nRussianDragon:  hi rabbi
\nElazarMuskin:  So I read, c****punt
\nElazarMuskin:  Anal? What is this term?
\nYourMoralLeader:  Do you think you can get Avrohom Union in here?
\ncuntpunt:  of the bottom end?
\nLilithena:  Rabbi, why won’t Jewish men commit to Jewish women in a timely manner?
\nElazarMuskin:  how does this term apply to reading of the megillah?
\nRussianDragon:  it’s  a sin
\nYourMoralLeader:  Rabbi, why do so many wives in your shul not cover their hair during the week and wear pants?
\nQuixoticLass:  Jewish men don’t like Jewish women because we are overeducated and demanding.
\nQuixoticLass:  also many Jewish women mistakenly think that it’s ok to wait until after they are 30 to start looking for a husband
\nElazarMuskin:  Luke- why do you shake hands upon meeting women?
\nElazarMuskin:  you know this is sinful
\nQuixoticLass:  do you shake women’s hands?
\nRussianDragon:  he doesnt know the difference
\nQuixoticLass:  you never shook mine.
\nRussianDragon:  some look like men
\nYourMoralLeader:  I try not to, rabbi.
\nQuixoticLass:  we pass the keys back and forth as though you are shomer negiah
\nYourMoralLeader:  Rabbi, what do you think of the RCC?
\nYourMoralLeader:  And who do you think will succeed Rabbi Weil at BJ?
\nElazarMuskin:  I think more of your new plan to take matters into your own hands
\nLilithena:  Too much unholy gossip!
\nElazarMuskin:  as if our people havent suffered enough
\nYourMoralLeader:  Thank you rabbi.
\nYourMoralLeader:  Would you serve on my kangaroo court?
\nElazarMuskin:  yes, but on a higher seat than the kangaroos
\nLilithena:  Let’s talk about my new "Sweet Sixteen" type show about bar and bat mitzvah parties
\nYourMoralSchvartze:  Q: what do Jewish women make for lunch? Anyone…?
\nRussianDragon:  suite sixteen
\nYourMoralLeader:  any celebs come into your shul lately, rabbi?
\nRussianDragon:  i’ve been there
\nYourMoralSchvartze:  A: Reservations.
\nYourMoralLeader:  Rabbi Muskin, I’d like you to marry Emma and I.
\nElazarMuskin:  Dennis Hopper attended recently
\nLilithena:  What’s the best shul for getting ahead?
\nYourMoralLeader:  Can we do this in chat?
\nElazarMuskin:  hmmm, let me consult torah
\nElazarMuskin:  um- nope
\nRussianDragon:  good rabbi
\nLilithena:  I can do conversions online, Emma.  Want one?
\nYourMoralSchvartze:  What’s the difference between karate and judo…Karate is a form of self-defense and judo is what bagels are made of.
\nYourMoralLeader:  What was it like learning from The Rav, rabbi?
\nElazarMuskin:  hahaha judo
\nLilithena:  Kraft is starting to market a bagel that comes prefilled with "cream cheese"  It looks just like a twinkie
\nElazarMuskin:  Watch out Luke you are stepping on the funny man’s toes
\nYourMoralLeader:  Rabbi, why did you banish the kiddush club?
\nElazarMuskin:  Rave reviews for the Rav
\nYourMoralSchvartze:  What do you say when you tickle a Jewish woman? Gucci, Gucci, goo.
\nLilithena:  For $50 I will convert you to or from any faith
\nEmma:  No thanks<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You don’t want to miss this juicy conversation: SmiterOfShvartza:  Ahhh, just the two of us. SmiterOfShvartza:  I wish you were trustworthy SmiterOfShvartza:  if you were, I’d compliment you on the attractiveness of Emma SmiterOfShvartza:  but I am sure you got … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[4358,3501,4353,1401,4351,4348,4357,4354,4314,30187,30472,4352,4359,4356,4349,4355,647,3990,4360,4350],"class_list":["post-2687","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-ahhh","tag-arabs","tag-attractiveness","tag-beard","tag-beauty-pageant","tag-beauty-pagent","tag-camel","tag-camels","tag-chico-wang","tag-eliot-spitzer","tag-emma","tag-gilford","tag-hara","tag-hump","tag-jewish-practice","tag-leather-goods","tag-nbsp","tag-news-yahoo","tag-od","tag-petzel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2687","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2687"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2687\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2687"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2687"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2687"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}