{"id":2543,"date":"2008-03-25T08:50:08","date_gmt":"2008-03-25T16:50:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2543"},"modified":"2008-03-25T10:49:01","modified_gmt":"2008-03-25T18:49:01","slug":"i-cammed-all-night","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2543","title":{"rendered":"I Cammed All Night"},"content":{"rendered":"

My new Ultravision Quickcam from Logitech<\/a> has night vision, so I left it on all night as I slept, or more particularly, did not sleep, afraid I’d do something obscene that would forever shame the Jewish people.<\/p>\n

My alarm went off at 6:30 a.m. so I could go to shul and pray.<\/p>\n

Getting out of the shower, I realized my towel was not in the bathroom. Looking around for coverage, I could find only a small hand towel on the fridge. No way would this be big enough to cover what I have to offer the world. So I waved it around strategically — trying not to get too excited and enlarge my problem — as I dashed to my towel and back.<\/p>\n

After pulling on my tzitzit, I checked my chat room<\/a>. Nobody was awake enough to have caught my involuntary show.<\/p>\n

Thank G-d for small blessings.<\/p>\n

On the downside, there was no content there for me to cut and paste after my hard night of tossing and turning.<\/p>\n

From Tuesday morning’s chat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

YHWH:  luke do you consider yourself a prophet?
\nYourMoralLeader:  a bit
\nRussianDragon:  the devil is speaking again
\nRussianDragon:  creepy
\nYHWH:  every time you go for that jug, it knocks your sound around
\nYHWH:  you’re hitting a wire or cable every time you pickup the jub of urine
\nQuietStorm:  green tea for the soul
\nguest528:  hes making me dizzy…………….
\nRussianDragon:  it’s the sulfure
\nYHWH:  how much does this cam cost Luke?
\nYHWH:  is ti free?
\nRussianDragon:  hubble, bubble, toil and trouble I cast my spell tonight
\nYHWH:  i mean the feed
\nYHWH:  not the cam itselfr
\nQuietStorm:  it’s free YHWH
\nRamBam:  Do you shake a woman’s hand when you meet her?
\nRussianDragon:  only when he w**ks himself before
\nguest531:  Luke, you need to shave! You’re starting to look like the Unabomber
\nRussianDragon:  he’s thinking about if he is left or right handed or both
\nYourMoralLeader:  try to avoid shaking hands iwth women
\nYourMoralLeader:  it could lead to dancing
\nQuietStorm:  what is the purpose of that Luke?
\nRamBam:  Because they could be niddah, QuietStorm
\nQuietStorm:  oh ok
\nRussianDragon:  so a hand leads to sex
\nRussianDragon:  that’s novel
\nRussianDragon:  i should shake hands more
\nRussianDragon:  with women
\nRamBam:  And, she could be menstrating.
\nRussianDragon:  eeeeew
\nQuietStorm:  but why then do you flirt with some of the women who come here Luke?
\nRussianDragon:  it’s on her hand or what
\nYourMoralLeader:  I can’t help it
\nRussianDragon:  i think women are cleaner than men
\nRamBam:  No touching a woman until 7 days after menstration stops.
\nYourMoralLeader:  it’s spiritual impurity
\nRussianDragon:  men can easily go to crap and then not wash their hands
\nQuietStorm:  isn’t that inconsistant?
\nRussianDragon:  what’s so spirtualy impure about menstruatinf
\nRamBam:  all touching of an affectionate nature is rabbinically forbidden in niddah
\nRussianDragon:  i find women are more sexually responsive during menstruation
\nRussianDragon:  i just need to shower more :p
\nYourMoralLeader:  http:\/\/www.lukeford.net\/archives\/updates\/080325.htm
\nYourMoralLeader:  my torah parsha commentary
\nRamBam:  Are you going to study to be a rabbi?
\nQuietStorm:  I don’t understand how it’s worse to touch a woman "physically" than to emotionally touch them and lead them on
\nRussianDragon:  so basically jews don’t touch their menstruating wifes or gf’s
\nYourMoralLeader:  I’d like to
\nRussianDragon:  you could be spiritually soiled
\nRamBam:  no sound can’t hear your pounding rant
\nRussianDragon:  he is a cultleader not a rabbi
\nRamBam:  A rabbi can be a cult leader.  Jesus, for example.
\nQuietStorm:  RamBam, can you explain my question to me?
\nRussianDragon:  well luke is the less moral type of cultleader
\nRamBam:  What was your question?
\nRussianDragon:  is he going to become a rabbi
\nRussianDragon:  so he can preach to the under 18
\nQuietStorm:  why is it worse to touch a woman "physically" than to touch them emotionally by leading them on?
\nRussianDragon:  WE CANNOT HEAR YOU LUKE
\nRamBam:  NO SOUND LUKE.  NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU.
\nRussianDragon:  DO NOT RANT
\nRussianDragon:  WE DO NOT HEAR YOU \ud83d\ude42
\nRamBam:  It’s considered a ritual impurity.
\nQuietStorm:  sounds totally inconsistant to me….oh well…..
\nQuietStorm:  maybe Luke can teach me
\nRamBam:  women were considered ritually impure as a result of menstruation.
\nRussianDragon:  but why
\nRamBam:  It’s not based on consistancy.
\nRussianDragon:  i don’t see the point
\nRussianDragon:  well men are impure after crapping
\nQuietStorm:  but I am referring to being spiritually clean
\nRussianDragon:  that’s more logical to me
\nRussianDragon:  well why the difference
\nRamBam:  Yes.  Men are unpure after crapping and have to wash.
\nRussianDragon:  i should learn more about the torah
\nRussianDragon:  and the jewish ideas
\nQuietStorm:  RamBam, have you ever taken the time to learn of other religions?
\nRamBam:  The problem with menstration is its harder to tell when it starts and stops.
\nRamBam:  Yes.  I used to be a Buddhist
\nQuietStorm:  and why did you change RamBam?
\nRamBam:  In many ways I haven’t changed.<\/p>\n

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My new Ultravision Quickcam from Logitech has night vision, so I left it on all night as I slept, or more particularly, did not sleep, afraid I’d do something obscene that would forever shame the Jewish people. My alarm went … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[2949,2951,1137,2944,2950,2939,2945,2592,2952,2948,1177,2947,2902,2943,2946,2940,2941,2942,1192,2862],"class_list":["post-2543","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-downside","tag-fridge","tag-green-tea","tag-hand-towel","tag-hes","tag-hubble-bubble-toil-and-trouble","tag-jub","tag-jug","tag-logitech","tag-night-vision","tag-prophet","tag-quickcam","tag-quietstorm","tag-rambam","tag-shaking-hands","tag-small-blessings","tag-toil-and-trouble","tag-tuesday-morning","tag-tzitzit","tag-yhwh"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t