{"id":2511,"date":"2008-03-21T11:55:15","date_gmt":"2008-03-21T19:55:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2511"},"modified":"2008-03-21T16:47:31","modified_gmt":"2008-03-22T00:47:31","slug":"im-getting-spanked-by-someone-claiming-to-be-my-dad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2511","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;m Getting Spanked In My Chat Room By Someone Claiming To Be My Dad"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/yourmoralleader.camstreams.com\/\">Live in my cam chat<\/a>:<\/p>\n<p>guest30:&nbsp; Luke, this is your dad, the Reverend Dsmond Ford. Attention whoring again, I see? <br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Is Wayne Cherry under your desk fellating you? <br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Perhaps inserting a tube of Vegemite where the sun doesn&#8217;t shine, you ponce? <br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; listen up, boy: i&#8217;ve about had it with your anti-Semitic claptrap! If I were there I&#8217;d give you a fair-dinkum clout, right on the side of your noggin!<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; is your kipah attached with as girl&#8217;s clip? nitwit! your obsession with Judaism is the same as your fixation on the porn industry. Designed to honk off your Dad!<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Sorry dad.<\/p>\n<p>guest30:&nbsp; there&#8217;s no excuse for you, boy.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I have sinned grievously.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; What must I do to be saved?<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Other lads your age have actual jobs and at least produce something in this world. <br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I blog on lukeford.net.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Is that not worthy?<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; By your dead mum&#8217;s vagina, I&#8217;l lay into you like fair-dinkum Tasmanian devil the next time I see you. Your brother Paul doesn&#8217;t act like such a wastrel.<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; There you go&#8230;.cackling like a fair-dinum kookaburra&#8230;.quite pleased with yourself, I see. I assure you, lad, your satisfaction is sorely misplaced.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; But aren&#8217;t you glad, dad, that I&#8217;m out of porn?<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Why not give us all a stirring confessional about your dalliances with Wayne Cherry, your lust for other men, and that incident with what you called a &quot;pointy, penguin-like hat.&quot; And is that urine you&#8217;re quaffing from that jug?<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; You&#8217;re a ridiculous knob of a human being, boy. It&#8217;s no wonder Holly Randall dumped you. That sheila&#8217;s got a bum as big as all outdoors&#8230;and twice as fragrant. A real man would have laid that down and kept it down&#8230;.but not you. You just whinged.<br \/>\nhorridboy:&nbsp; why don&#8217;t you bring peace to the middle east luke?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I should<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; Luke do you really think other jews take you seriously<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Because Luke is an anti-Semite.<br \/>\nhorridboy:&nbsp; that sounds like a great use of your time<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Well, they killed Jesus.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; You taught me that.<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; you&#8217;re allowed to kill you own<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; i dont&#8217; hold that against the jews<br \/>\nhorridboy:&nbsp; but He is risen<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; I&#8217;ll kill you, boy! I should have done so the moment you emerged from your late mum&#8217;s vagina &#8211; which, I night add, resembled a box jellyfish!<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; there&#8217;s a lot of goy still left in you<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Why can&#8217;t you be more like your brother Paul? The two of you are like chalk and cheese, whelp!<br \/>\nhorridboy:&nbsp; luke went to put on his Jesus mask<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; When did things start to go wrong with me, dad?<br \/>\nhorridboy:&nbsp; he&#8217;ll be back carrying a cross<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; I hear your toilet flushing. That&#8217;s what I should have done the moment your dead mum squeezed you out.<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Down the drain, mate! Never to be seen again in this world.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Dad, I&#8217;ve missed you.<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Look at you&#8230;staring at your own reflected image like some sort of deranged budgie.<br \/>\nhorridboy:&nbsp; luke has a reflective screen<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Narcissistic twit.<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Your choked chortles remind me of the day you were raped by a wallaby. You fair-dinkum enjoyed it, I believe.<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Of course you did. I raised a ponce.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; That changed my life, dad.<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; It&#8217;s my ever-lasting shame.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Do people remind you about this often?<br \/>\nguest31:&nbsp; play us a song on your skin flute luke<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; When you go to sleep at night, do you drift off with the belief tghat you&#8217;ve accomplished something for that day? As far as I can see, all you do is sit in a little room and play with other socially awkward twits. <br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; And not even face-to-face. I&#8217;d like to take a cricket bat to your skull, I would. <br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Chin-stroking, self-important w**ker!<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; What is the difference between your incessant baiting of the Jews and your mission to &quot;dig up dirt&quot; on the porn industry? That&#8217;s not even the original version of that song, by the way. PONCE!<br \/>\nguest31:&nbsp; desperate times calls for&#8230;..Desparado<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; whre&#8217;s your gun luke?<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; show it to us<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; I got drunk with Holly Randall last night<br \/>\nguest31:&nbsp; Yes! show us your gun Luke<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; OH YES!!!<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; trashed any rabbis lately? are you off on a &quot;hot scoop&quot; of barely concealed anti-Semitism? Schizoid twerp. Your mum and I both loathed you as a child, and I despise you all the more for the way you&#8217;ve turned out. <br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; THANKS LUKE<br \/>\nguest31:&nbsp; nice<br \/>\nguest31:&nbsp; S&amp;W 66?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I&#8217;m just a humble servant of the truth, dad.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; yeah<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Don&#8217;t give yourself credit: a [plastic jug filled with urine a pistol don&#8217;t make you a deperado. <br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; They just make you a disappointment to your dead mum and me. <br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Outlaws don&#8217;t use S&amp;W&#8230;.but homosexuals and women do. Good on you, mate!<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; Hol-ly Ran-dall..why dont&#8217; you come to your senses&#8230;<br \/>\nUser guest31 changed their name to JimSouthSR.<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; Luke we need you down here at world modeling<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; we&#8217;re having a big whore-wrangling this weekend- open house event<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; FREE FOOD!<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; I&#8217;ll send Jr around to pick you up. You in?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I&#8217;m done with porn.<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; no one is done with porn<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I&#8217;m a Torah Jew now.<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; it just takes different forms<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Sorry dad.<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; well this is just a chance for you to pick up some money<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; we need another lense around the place<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; jews like money<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; even torahs<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; C&#8217;mon I need your opinion on the new carpet<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Tell us how it feels to be 40-something adult and to be doing THIS day after day? Most people would take that gun, put it to their temple and pull the trigger. But you don&#8217;t even have thje stones to do that&#8230;think of the posthumous YouTube hits! <br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; luke how do you earn your living?<br \/>\nUser guest35 left the room.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; blogging<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; you honestly pay rent with your blog<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; i need that kind of gig<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; have you spoken with smelly monkey lately<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; he&#8217;s a fellow Member of the Tribe<br \/>\nguest38:&nbsp; hello mr.morel<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Blogging&#8217;s not even a real word, you whelp! It&#8217;s something Internet homosexuals like you came up with to describe their pointless. meaningless lives.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; seriously, i&#8217;m drowning financially but I have hope.<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Here&#8217;s a tip for your financial situation&#8230;get a job! It works ffor most people. <br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; hey Luke got any pigs feet in there?<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; I&#8217;m starving<br \/>\nguest37:&nbsp; That was a bit of an unnecessary comment<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; everyone needs a purpose<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; Obviously, you&#8217;re not listening to your old dad&#8230;typical. Looks like you&#8217;ve done real well for yourself, lad. And even in backwards OZ, we realized a long time ago that the Carpenters were fit for moping teen girls. <br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; don;t you have some special undergarments to wash?<br \/>\nguest30:&nbsp; I&#8217;m buggering off now, mate. You&#8217;ve broken your family&#8217;s heart. Not mine, mind you. I just want to smash your face. But the rest of them think of you as tragic. I&#8217;m going on walkabout now. And will listen to some Poppy Family on my fair-dinkum iPod. Ponc<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Always good to hear from you, dad. Let&#8217;s do lunch<br \/>\noken your family&#8217;s heart. Not mine, mind you. I just want to smash your face. But the rest of them think of you as tragic. I&#8217;m going on walkabout now. And will listen to some Poppy Family on my fair-dinkum iPod. Ponce.<\/p>\n<p>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; luke how come your jew friends arent supporting you in your webcam and blogging endeavors?<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; only your pornfriends care about you<br \/>\nguest37:&nbsp; On a night when everyone is donning there glad rags me, just sittin here with me tunes and me prayer book. It&#8217;s the life.<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; have you ever met gia jordan<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; i hear she has a crush on you<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; and she said she was jewish in Down the Hatch<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; yeah<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; zenman send her the link to this webcam- that will cure her.<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; she thinks he still looks like his book-cover<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; hey lukey<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; hi mike<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; how ya been man<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; good, you?<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; no complaints in dayton with tim and fifi<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; yay<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; how&#8217;s your health?<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; its good i guess considering my old age<br \/>\nguest37:&nbsp; I&#8217;m off as I dont understand anything anymore<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; you look&#8230;.ummm&#8230;jeweish LOL<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; 37, its just a couple old porners sitting around swapping war stories<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; good to see you too man<br \/>\nguest42:&nbsp; He has risen<br \/>\nguest37:&nbsp; ahhh, ic. what are porners. do they undress often?<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; yer music leaves a lot to be desired<br \/>\nJimSouthSR:&nbsp; sometimes. watch your wallet around them<br \/>\nUser JimSouthSR changed their name to BrandyeAlexander.<br \/>\nguest37:&nbsp; He hasn&#8217;t quite risen yet<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; This is like old porn times<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; lol brandy!<br \/>\nBrandyeAlexander:&nbsp; I got fired from my job at the cemetary<br \/>\nguest42:&nbsp; 2007 years ago<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; i always liked luke<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; he is a weird<br \/>\nBrandyeAlexander:&nbsp; It&#8217;s ok though- I hated the graveyard shift<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; i miss the old day s from RAME<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; thats a riot<br \/>\nBrandyeAlexander:&nbsp; where&#8217;s Tim?<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; tim is at the club i just finished shooting<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; but its ok to talk about it wasnt porn<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; what did you shoot?<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; i shot a gilr vaccuuming rice krispies out of a sofa<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; how&#8217;s holly randall?<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; and stompping on old 78 records with stripper heels<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; and putting on makeup<br \/>\nguest37:&nbsp; my word, rice crispies (spelling correction)<br \/>\nUser Guest left the room.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Guest, did you get my email?<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; when will the palestinians get a homeland, Luke?<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; that stuff makes crazy money on clips4sale<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; its too weird but i love it<br \/>\nguest39:&nbsp; let&#8217;s hear some carpenters&nbsp; \ud83d\ude42<br \/>\nUser guest43 left the room.<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; luke you should vaccuum your hovel on yer cam here<br \/>\nUser spitzer left the room.<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; LOL<br \/>\nGuest:&nbsp; how do I get an email from you?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Guest, how does your email addy begin?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; maybe I thought you were someone else<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; ok luke whom should i vote for in the election in november<br \/>\nguest37:&nbsp; let&#8217;s not here some carpenters. I&#8217;m on my knees on that one!<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; be my moral compass<br \/>\nguest39:&nbsp; glutton for punishment<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; mccain<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; i just cant sacrificemore of my freedom to republicans<br \/>\nGuest:&nbsp; do you have the whole court case?<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; yet i dont want to sacrifice my money to the democrats<br \/>\nUser guest45 left the room.<br \/>\nguest39:&nbsp; Purim \/ Good Fri mood music<br \/>\nguest44:&nbsp; Wow, Luke you really are aging of late.<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; he looks like luke to me<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; shabat starts in a few hours luke, will you be lighting candles?<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; at whose house?<br \/>\nguest37:&nbsp; mine<br \/>\nguest39:&nbsp; mine<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; yes<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; Thanks 44<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; The years have not been kind to me<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; How have you fine folks observed Good Friday\/Purim?<br \/>\nBrandyeAlexander:&nbsp; I had a huge plate of barbeque pork for lunch<br \/>\nmikesouth:&nbsp; ok im out good seein ya luke peace to ya brudda<br \/>\nGuest:&nbsp; give me your addy and I&#8217;ll send you an email add to send it to me<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I;&#8217;m turning htis up loud<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; you remember pork dont&#8217; you luke<br \/>\nguest39:&nbsp; hamantaschen ..prune.. very moving<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; B&quot;H<br \/>\nThisIsMyCostume:&nbsp; haha<br \/>\nguest46:&nbsp; Meshugener<br \/>\nUser mikesouth left the room.<br \/>\nBrandyeAlexander:&nbsp; do you miss the cloven-footed meat Luke?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; never ate it, hon<br \/>\nzenmanxpt:&nbsp; it&#8217;s delicious<br \/>\nBrandyeAlexander:&nbsp; bacon in the morning&#8230;.sausage in the evening.<br \/>\nxander:&nbsp; ever get confused and drink out of your pee jug there beside you Luke?<br \/>\nguest46:&nbsp; luke sings<br \/>\nguest37:&nbsp; should I admit to having sausage each night too?<br \/>\nguest46:&nbsp; taco night<br \/>\nBrandyeAlexander:&nbsp; you bet<br \/>\nBrandyeAlexander:&nbsp; ahhh fish taco<br \/>\nguest46:&nbsp; come back to the dark side&#8230;&#8230;..luke<br \/>\nguest39:&nbsp; Luke no invites to Purim Seuda?<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; no<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; just alone in my hovel<br \/>\nguest39:&nbsp; come break taschen w\/ me&#8230;<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I&#8217;d love to but i have appts this afternoon<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; please invite me another time<br \/>\nguest39:&nbsp; Yom Kippur<br \/>\nUser zenmanxpt left the room.<br \/>\nguest39:&nbsp; my treat<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; The one time I was invited to a seuda was at YICC. The poor bloke had never heard of Luke Ford.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; He must&#8217;ve felt so betrayed. I can barely look at him now.<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; He opened his home and his heart to me, thinking I was a mentch.<br \/>\nguest39:&nbsp; next time don&#8217;t go in the buff<br \/>\nguest37:&nbsp; I&#8217;ll second that<br \/>\nBrandyeAlexander:&nbsp; will you leave your webcam on for us during chabat luke?<br \/>\nUser guest47 left the room.<br \/>\nBrandyeAlexander:&nbsp; so we can look in on you?<br \/>\nguest46:&nbsp; Gevalt!<br \/>\nBrandyeAlexander:&nbsp; shabat<br \/>\nguest37:&nbsp; he he<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; I&#8217;d have to ask a rabbi<br \/>\nThisIsMyCostume:&nbsp; the rabbi would say no<br \/>\nYourMoralLeader:&nbsp; well that answers that<\/p>\n<p>The IP address from the person claiming to be my dad says Chatsworth, CA. Hmm. Why would someone from AVN be impersonating my dad?<\/p>\n<p><!--adsense--><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Live in my cam chat: guest30:&nbsp; Luke, this is your dad, the Reverend Dsmond Ford. Attention whoring again, I see? guest30:&nbsp; Is Wayne Cherry under your desk fellating you? guest30:&nbsp; Perhaps inserting a tube of Vegemite where the sun doesn&#8217;t &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2511\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[2578,1861,2580,2584,2591,1976,631,2575,2585,29948,29773,2592,2577,2586,2589,2587,2582,722,2588,2576,2583,2590,2581,2579],"class_list":["post-2511","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-brother-paul","tag-cam-chat","tag-claptrap","tag-clout","tag-dalliances","tag-desmond-ford","tag-excuse","tag-fair-dinkum","tag-fixation","tag-holly-randall","tag-judaism","tag-jug","tag-kipah","tag-lads","tag-obsession","tag-ponce","tag-porn-industry","tag-quot","tag-reverend","tag-sorry-dad","tag-spanked","tag-vagina","tag-vegemite","tag-wastrel"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.10 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Live in my cam chat: guest30: Luke, this is your dad, the Reverend Dsmond Ford. Attention whoring again, I see? guest30: Is Wayne Cherry under your desk fellating you? guest30: Perhaps inserting a tube of Vegemite where the sun doesn&#039;t shine, you ponce? guest30: listen up, boy: i&#039;ve about had it with your anti-Semitic claptrap!\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"max-image-preview:large\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Luke Ford\"\/>\n\t<meta name=\"google-site-verification\" content=\"HMjuOfLRyzTPB-5Z5FG4BHkfZ1fbEij34rmbKM3BkZ4\" \/>\n\t<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2511\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"generator\" content=\"All in One SEO (AIOSEO) 4.9.10\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Luke Ford - No sacred cows.\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I\u2019m Getting Spanked In My Chat Room By Someone Claiming To Be My Dad - Luke Ford\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Live in my cam chat: guest30: Luke, this is your dad, the Reverend Dsmond Ford. 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