{"id":2410,"date":"2008-03-07T12:36:50","date_gmt":"2008-03-07T20:36:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2410"},"modified":"2008-03-07T17:08:25","modified_gmt":"2008-03-08T01:08:25","slug":"live-cam-chat-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2410","title":{"rendered":"Live Cam Chat – The Closest You Can Get To Hell Without Being There, You Can Almost Smell The Sulfur"},"content":{"rendered":"

You don’t want to miss out. Come see the headquarters of Orthodox Judaism in Los Angeles and the keyboard that makes the rabbis shuckle in their prayers<\/a>.<\/p>\n

What better way to prepare for Shabbat than trading inspiring stories with Your Moral Leader?<\/p>\n

In the chat, Holly Randall says she’s found her future husband. He’s a writer.<\/p>\n

I have a mold build problem. I use these 64 oz Kedem grape juice plastic containers to mix my green tea and energy drink concoctions that I sip all day when I’m blogging and stripping on my cam. They quickly develop a mold problem and I have a hard time cleaning it out. Any suggestions?<\/p>\n

Curious:  Agian with the flatulent noises.  Luke, are you well?
\nUser guest25 entered the room.
\nguest25:  I thought of a way to make money off the Hovel Cam
\nCurious:  Money is good.  How?
\nguest25:  Install bunk beds in Hovel…get drunk and stoner Jews…Hovel Rehab
\nCurious:  Is that Luke or a cardboard cut out?  No movement
\nguest25:  Luke you look like s**t
\nCurious:  Seen Luke’s drunkie friend Mary Carey of Celebrity Rehab yet?  Sad. Sad. Sad.
\nCurious:  CFS has frozen his face.
\nguest25:  you think she’s gonna get rehabbed around that crew. Sly Stalone’s old wife
\nguest25:  Has been actors and rockers
\nCurious:  Oi, she looks abou 70!
\nguest25:  she might have a better chance moving in with Luke
\nCurious:  Remeber when she was in Beverly Hills Cop 2?  She was smokin’ and now?  Sad
\nguest25:  nothing like Rice Milk and Peanut Butter to get one off alcahol
\nUser guest26 entered the room.
\nUser guest27 entered the room.
\nCurious:  Luke is not there.  Just a still frame.  I suspect he is "wacking his carrot"
\nguest25:  How about that Baldwin guy..another reject
\nCurious:  They are Z-Listers for sure
\nCurious:  A-Listers can pay and respect anonimity
\nguest25:  the guy from Grease OY!
\nCurious:  In a wheel chair.  So sad
\nguest25:  Luke did you do your Telefin yet?
\nguest25:  did I miss another telefin wrap?
\nCurious:  Luke’s forehead looks like silly putty.  I smell Botox
\nUser guest28 entered the room.
\nCurious:  His telefin looked lik black electrical tape.  Very cheap.
\nguest25:  if Luke’s hair gets any thinner he;’ll have nothingto clip his yarlmuka to
\nUser guest28 left the room.
\nCurious:  That explains the beard.  Bald dudes like to prove they can grow something
\nYourMoralLeader:  yo
\nYourMoralLeader:  you missed
\nUser guest29 entered the room.
\nguest25:  what time do you usally do the telefin thing
\nYourMoralLeader:  7:30 am
\nYourMoralLeader:  don’t miss it
\nYourMoralLeader:   it’s a real crowd drawer
\nguest29:  doofus
\nguest25:  I’ll be sure to catch it tomorrow
\nUser guest30 entered the room.
\nUser guest29 left the room.
\nUser guest31 entered the room.
\nCurious:  Why is your frame frozen, Luke?
\nguest25:  maybe not…I think I’m going to breakfast at that time. Sunday for sure
\nUser guest32 entered the room.
\nUser guest32 left the room.
\nUser guest30 left the room.
\nCurious:  Will the cam have night vision to document cialis action?
\nguest25:  have you thought of a way to make this site pay yet?
\nYourMoralLeader:  not yet
\nguest25:  considering the size of the Hovel how about Yiddisha midget Porno
\nCurious:  You need more valuable content before anyone will pay.
\nYourMoralLeader:  hang on
\nYourMoralLeader:  i just pimped this on my blog, expect a flood of traffic
\nCurious:  again whacking the carrot
\nguest31:  what a freak
\nYourMoralLeader:  I just spent $500 buying The Infomercial Toolkit. Money well spent?
\nCurious:  luke, have you seen Mary Carey on Celebrity Rehab yet?  Comments?
\nUser guest31 left the room.
\nUser guest33 entered the room.
\nYourMoralLeader:  n0
\nYourMoralLeader:  I’M TOO BUSY STUDYING TORAH
\nguest25:  maybe you could sell Luke Ford Popcorn online then put on Yiddish Midget Porno…
\nguest25:  I think Mary carey is just what the Hovel and Luke need
\nUser guest26 left the room.
\nCurious:  Luke, do you live near a Costco.  A cardboard sign and a sad face coul generate $$ there.  Will you consider it?
\nguest25:  Luke could convert her
\nguest27:  time is one of life most important tools…. use it dont loose it…….
\nCurious:  You need sheckles.  How, Luke, how?
\nUser guest34 entered the room.
\nguest33:  your phone number in LA is listed
\nCurious:  very distorted
\nCurious:  you sound like Yogi Bear
\nguest25:  Luke that yarlmuka would look a lot more interesting if you attached a pin wheel to it
\nYourMoralLeader:  i got the sound workign!
\nCurious:  TB??
\nYourMoralLeader:  listen to my teachings!
\nguest34:  didn’t you interview the porn guy w\/ aids?
\nguest27:  smoking that weed again?
\nguest25:  doesn’t sound like you…ouchthat caugh scared my wife..TURN OFF THE SOUND
\nUser guest35 entered the room.
\nCurious:  Will you dedicate an hour a week to discuss your Erectile Dysfuntion?  Your suffering could help others….
\nguest25:  Get down the clinic quick….you sound terrible
\nUser guest33 left the room.
\nCurious:  The gekko-cam is more entertaing that this #%$^*&
\nUser guest34 left the room.
\nUser guest35 left the room.
\nUser guest36 entered the room.
\nCurious:  They’re droppin’ like flies
\nCurious:  Guests are bailing out
\nYourMoralLeader:  heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp
\nUser guest27 left the room.
\nguest25:  thank G-D  the sound went out…no more caughing, flatuance and snotty nose sounds
\nCurious:  Luke, how’s you 4 hour boner going?
\nguest25:  and he wants to charge for this?…he can’t even give it away
\nguest36:  Luke no need to speak there is no sound
\nCurious:  Painful?  Joyful?
\nCurious:  I like the book case behind Luke makes him look scholarly.  We all know they are beast porn books, though.
\nguest36:  Is his bathroom his kitchen
\nCurious:  He makes Ramin in the shower
\nguest25:  hahahaaaaa
\nguest36:  Looks like he is falling apart to me
\nCurious:  Luke do you contribute to society more than a homeless person?  Be honest.
\nYourMoralLeader:  Would you guys like to hire me to make commercials\/infomercials for you?
\nUser guest25 changed their name to TonyJah.
\nYourMoralLeader:  Or SEO?
\nYourMoralLeader:  Just $300 to hire me
\nTonyJah:  for what?
\nCurious:  Your endorsement of any non-porn product would be useless.
\nCurious:  Would you consider liscensing your own line of kosher sex toys?<\/p>\n

User guest35 left the room.
\nUser guest36 entered the room.
\nCurious:  They’re droppin’ like flies
\nCurious:  Guests are bailing out
\nYourMoralLeader:  heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp
\nUser guest27 left the room.
\nguest25:  thank G-D  the sound went out…no more caughing, flatuance and snotty nose sounds
\nCurious:  Luke, how’s you 4 hour boner going?
\nguest25:  and he wants to charge for this?…he can’t even give it away
\nguest36:  Luke no need to speak there is no sound
\nCurious:  Painful?  Joyful?
\nCurious:  I like the book case behind Luke makes him look scholarly.  We all know they are beast porn books, though.
\nguest36:  Is his bathroom his kitchen
\nCurious:  He makes Ramin in the shower
\nguest25:  hahahaaaaa
\nguest36:  Looks like he is falling apart to me
\nCurious:  Luke do you contribute to society more than a homeless person?  Be honest.
\nYourMoralLeader:  Would you guys like to hire me to make commercials\/infomercials for you?
\nUser guest25 changed their name to TonyJah.
\nYourMoralLeader:  Or SEO?
\nYourMoralLeader:  Just $300 to hire me
\nTonyJah:  for what?
\nCurious:  Your endorsement of any non-porn product would be useless.
\nCurious:  Would you consider liscensing your own line of kosher sex toys?
\nYourMoralLeader:  hmm
\nguest36:  I could be wrong but I dont think he is a Jew, he is a n Aussie
\nCurious:  You spent $500 on infomercial software?  Why not something practical like Amway?
\nCurious:  I’m think a limp dildo like your own shmeckl
\nCurious:  It might sell
\nYourMoralLeader:  You are probably wondering why I called you here today
\nTonyJah:  the sound came back on arrrgghhh!
\nCurious:  Holly might buy one to give to her dog as a chew toy
\nUser guest37 entered the room.
\nCurious:  Yes, Lord Vader.  How can we fight the rebels?
\nguest37:  hello
\nTonyJah:  sounds sounds German now…vee have vaz of making you talk
\nguest36:  lollllllllllllllll
\nguest37:  i want to see your face
\nYourMoralLeader:  Gents, five minutes ago I took my first Viagra. How am I doing?
\nguest37:  i want to see your face
\nguest36:  Why in the world would you do that
\nguest37:  ahhhh, sexy man
\nguest37:  nice smile
\nguest37:  hello
\nUser RussianDragon entered the room.
\nTonyJah:  what’s with the static…is that Luke’s dishwasher…wait, there isn’t a sink
\nCurious:  Did you take the Viagra to generate more white "lotion" to rub on you nose?  That was weird.
\nRussianDragon:  hi there oh moral leader of mine
\nUser Curious left the room.
\nUser guest37 left the room.
\nYourMoralLeader:  hi
\nRussianDragon:  hi to the rest as well
\nTonyJah:  well Luke…we have to go…best of health
\nYourMoralLeader:  thanks
\nTonyJah:  catch you tomorrow
\nUser TonyJah left the room.
\nRussianDragon:  he is ill luke
\nUser nicolletista entered the room.
\nRussianDragon:  taifoid i heard :p
\nUser Khun left the room.
\nUser guest36 left the room.
\nUser watchingyoublog left the room.
\nRussianDragon:  still haven’t shaved that beard luke?
\nYourMoralLeader:  http:\/\/refinancemortgagenow.net\/blog\/
\nUser MidrashicGirl entered the room.
\nYourMoralLeader:  yo baby
\nYourMoralLeader:  what’s happening?
\nYourMoralLeader:  Gents, we hav a lady and a scholar with us!
\nMidrashicGirl:  nothing….entertain me.
\nMidrashicGirl:  who says i’m a lady?
\nRussianDragon:  wow  a lady that’s new
\nMidrashicGirl:  your voice sounds weird on my computer
\nRussianDragon:  i saw that keyboard
\nRussianDragon:  yes so does his voice on mine
\nMidrashicGirl:  it sounds dark and scary.
\nRussianDragon:  he sounds like the devil in person
\nMidrashicGirl:  yes!!!
\nRussianDragon:  I WILL SAVE YOUR SOUL
\nRussianDragon:  YOU WILL BE DAMNED
\nRussianDragon:  lol
\nMidrashicGirl:  hahaha
\nRussianDragon:  i always knew the devil would live in a hovel
\nMidrashicGirl:  of course
\nRussianDragon:  and would have a strange keyboard
\nMidrashicGirl:  oh, i can’t your moral voice anymore.
\nMidrashicGirl:  oops…"hear"
\nRussianDragon:  is that vodka?
\nRussianDragon:  or jewish water
\nMidrashicGirl:  what is that strange device?
\nUser guest38 entered the room.
\nRussianDragon:  it’s a devils fork
\nUser guest38 changed their name to SASHA.
\nMidrashicGirl:  haha
\nRussianDragon:  the new one
\nMidrashicGirl:  ooohhh SASHA
\nSASHA:  HUH WHAT DID I DO LOL
\nMidrashicGirl:  crotch shot
\nSASHA:  nice
\nSASHA:  lol
\nRussianDragon:  the devil’s trone
\nMidrashicGirl:  i hear no sound!!
\nRussianDragon:  I KNEW IT
\nSASHA:  just need the ass shot now
\nRussianDragon:  proof is allover his hovel
\nSASHA:  lol
\nSASHA:  whats he doing
\nSASHA:  yes its water
\nMidrashicGirl:  he’s davening
\nRussianDragon:  pitty we cannot smell it all
\nSASHA:  lol
\nRussianDragon:  i bet we would notice sulfer
\nMidrashicGirl:  can’t wait to find out…gotta go..<\/p>\n

RussianDragon:  luke what were you doing with that jar?
\nUser guest40 entered the room.
\nYourMoralLeader:  trying to clena it
\nYourMoralLeader:  clean
\nYourMoralLeader:  mold buildup
\nRussianDragon:  mm that sounds bad
\nRussianDragon:  mold is bad news
\nRussianDragon:  are you eating some of the mold now
\nRussianDragon:  or is it some jewish cerial
\nRussianDragon:  smakatze wholeweat
\nYourMoralLeader:  yeah
\nRussianDragon:  mm jummy
\nYourMoralLeader:  why I am so big and strong’
\nRussianDragon:  are you big and strong, i didn’t notice that
\nUser guest41 entered the room.
\nRussianDragon:  isn’t it about time now that you pitch another of your fantastic blog sites you own
\nRussianDragon:  like refinanceyourhovel.wom
\nRussianDragon:  just joking luke :p
\nYourMoralLeader:  lol
\nRussianDragon:  mm
\nYourMoralLeader:  lukeford.tv!
\nUser guest41 left the room.
\nRussianDragon:  yes finally a pitch
\nRussianDragon:  i’m having a look
\nUser guest42 entered the room.
\nUser guest43 entered the room.
\nUser guest43 left the room.
\nRussianDragon:  seems a bit on the dull side of blogging
\nUser TheRealBornyo entered the room.
\nUser guest44 entered the room.
\nTheRealBornyo:  wow you’ve drawn a crowd
\nUser guest44 left the room.
\nRussianDragon:  moses is talking to
\nRussianDragon:  HEAR HIS WORDS
\nUser guest45 entered the room.
\nRussianDragon:  the revolution is live
\nTheRealBornyo:  i think i hear a plaque of locusts, but no moses
\nRussianDragon:  can you smell the sulfer
\nYourMoralLeader:  greetings!
\nRussianDragon:  nothing like the smell of sulfer in the morning
\nUser guest46 entered the room.
\nguest45:  omg
\nUser guest45 left the room.
\nRussianDragon:  i am seeing your lips moving luke but i can hear nothing
\nUser guest47 entered the room.
\nRussianDragon:  yessss
\nUser guest46 left the room.
\nRussianDragon:  he’s gonna die online
\nTheRealBornyo:  i was hearing static, but now hear nothing
\nRussianDragon:  :p
\nTheRealBornyo:  not even the hacking cough attack
\nRussianDragon:  book your seats
\nRussianDragon:  see luke die via camstreams
\nguest40:  need a cigarette
\nRussianDragon:  seems he does
\nTheRealBornyo:  oh lord is he wearing old flour sacks?
\nguest42:  Has ur viagra kicked in yet
\nUser YourMoralLeader left the room.
\nUser YourMoralLeader entered the room.
\nUser guest47 left the room.
\nTheRealBornyo:  you must have spent quite a bit on this a\/v system
\nRussianDragon:  yes with the lipsink and all
\nRussianDragon:  i guess loads
\nYourMoralLeader:  lol
\nUser YourMoralLeader left the room.
\nRussianDragon:  i think all of what he got for lukeisback.com
\nUser YourMoralLeader entered the room.
\nUser guest42 left the room.
\nTheRealBornyo:  now the static is back….like laying an ear against the gates of hell
\nRussianDragon:  well giess what
\nRussianDragon:  guess what i mean
\nRussianDragon:  you are in hell
\nTheRealBornyo:  I think you may be right
\nRussianDragon:  he is mister triple 6 himself<\/p>\n

YourMoralLeader:  i got a new site – homelessla.com
\nRussianDragon:  cool the beast is brushing his teeth
\nUser watchingyoublog entered the room.
\nYourMoralLeader:  shabbat shalom
\nUser CARLINO entered the room.
\nCARLINO:  CIAO LUCKY!
\nYourMoralLeader:  we’re having a party
\nCARLINO:  NO s**t!
\nCARLINO:  U STONED?
\nwatchingyoublog:  did u seriously take viagra?
\nUser guest56 entered the room.
\nCARLINO:  SNIFFIN?
\nwatchingyoublog:  if yes, demonstrate
\nRussianDragon:  what a swell party
\nUser AMALEK entered the room.
\nRussianDragon:  WOW
\nRussianDragon:  chaim is here
\nYourMoralLeader:  viagra – i feel like a new man
\nCARLINO:  HE GOT THE SHAKES
\nAMALEK:  Are there any ovulating females in here?
\nCARLINO:  NO
\nCARLINO:  WRONG ROOM
\nRussianDragon:  not here
\nCARLINO:  TRY GIZMOS
\nguest54:   dont know what that is
\nUser guest57 entered the room.
\nRussianDragon:  try the pet sites
\nUser guest57 left the room.
\nRussianDragon:  enough b**ches there
\nUser guest56 left the room.
\nAMALEK:  What is that weird thing I just saw?
\nCARLINO:  IS HE ON LIQUID GAS ?
\nCARLINO:  TOO MUCH TOOTIN
\nwatchingyoublog:  it is raining here. it will continue to rain for another 24 hours
\nAMALEK:  Luke, where are the ovulating females?  Without them, the Jewish people are doomed
\nUser guest58 entered the room.
\nUser guest58 changed their name to BigRichard.
\nwatchingyoublog:  is it sunny in la?
\nAMALEK:  I’m going to run an ad on Craigslist for Ovulating Females
\nRussianDragon:  oooooh no i am blind now
\nUser alan entered the room.
\nCARLINO:  LISTEN I GOT 3 BAMITZVAS TO ARRNAGE
\nRussianDragon:  i saw his pants
\nRussianDragon:  jeeez
\nCARLINO:  ARRANGE*
\nRussianDragon:  blind for life
\nUser guest59 entered the room.
\nUser guest60 entered the room.
\nUser guest61 entered the room.
\nYourMoralLeader:  holly’s coming!
\nCARLINO:  YEA?
\nAMALEK:  Never shave that beard.  Or at least let it reach Taliban proportions
\nUser BigRichard left the room.
\nRussianDragon:  wow holly ratball?
\nwatchingyoublog:  when is holly coming?
\nCARLINO:  SHALOM!
\nRussianDragon:  uhm i mean randall
\nwatchingyoublog:  will you be celebrating shabbat with her?
\nCARLINO:  SHALOM
\nUser guest54 left the room.
\nAMALEK:  I check in only to see if Holly is here.
\nRussianDragon:  is she ovulating
\nUser guest61 changed their name to HollyRandall.
\nCARLINO:  IS SHE MARRIED TO A JEWISH BOY?
\nHollyRandall:  how do you look worse today
\nAMALEK:  I want her to be mine
\nHollyRandall:  hi Amalek
\nAMALEK:  Holly, will you marry me?
\nHollyRandall:  sorry i missed you in New Yo9rk
\nAMALEK:  I would be perfect for you.
\nCARLINO:  HE HAS BEEN SNIFFIN TEA BAGS
\nHollyRandall:  i didn’t get the message with your number until after i left
\nYourMoralLeader:  Honey
\nHollyRandall:  ha
\nYourMoralLeader:  would you like to celebrate Shabbat with me?
\nYourMoralLeader:  we’ll go to the gay temple
\nHollyRandall:  um…
\nHollyRandall:  lol right
\nHollyRandall:  not this weekend
\nAMALEK:  I would not demand your departure from porn or adherence to any religious stream
\nUser guest59 left the room.
\nHollyRandall:  i’m still celebrating \ud83d\ude09
\nYourMoralLeader:  you can play with my beard
\nAMALEK:  Heck, for all I care, you could go scientologist
\nCARLINO:  HE IS DELUDED
\nHollyRandall:  i’m sorry amalek i think i’ve found my future husband
\nYourMoralLeader:  what did you do last night holly?
\nAMALEK:  Who is this lucky man?
\nAMALEK:  Luke?
\nCARLINO:  DOES NOT HAVE THE CHARISMA FOR A LEADER
\nRussianDragon:  lol
\nCARLINO:  NOT A LIST
\nHollyRandall:  he’s a screenwriter
\nCARLINO:  LOL
\nHollyRandall:  and not in porn
\nRussianDragon:  isn’t he on strike :p
\nHollyRandall:  lol
\nCARLINO:  AREN’T THEY ALL HONEY?
\nAMALEK:  has he sold any screenplays under SAG?
\nCARLINO:  LOL
\nYourMoralLeader:  how long you known him?
\nAMALEK:  sorry, WGA
\nHollyRandall:  a little over a year
\nCARLINO:  WHERE IS HIS COUCH FFS?
\nUser guest62 entered the room.
\nHollyRandall:  yes i believe so
\nHollyRandall:  i’m only just getting to know him
\nAMALEK:  Is he a working screenwriter or a luftmensch
\nHollyRandall:  i don’t know his specifics yet
\nCARLINO:  SCHMUCK
\nAMALEK:  What does HE have that Luke does not?
\nYourMoralLeader:  why is he the one?
\nAMALEK:  This might hurt Luke, so turn away7
\nHollyRandall:  i don’t want to say that much about the screenplays he’s written b\/c i don’t want you guys finding out who he is
\nUser guest63 entered the room.
\nYourMoralLeader:  we’re all friends here
\nCARLINO:  HE HAS AN OLD PHONE LOL
\nHollyRandall:  actually duh, yes one of his movies starts shooting in April
\nCARLINO:  HE HAS NO STATUS
\nAMALEK:  Well, then he has status
\nHollyRandall:  yes
\nAMALEK:  Is he White?
\nHollyRandall:  yes
\nAMALEK:  Is he Jewish?
\nHollyRandall:  no
\nUser guest63 left the room.
\nHollyRandall:  but he’s older than Luke, so Luke that should make you feel young
\nAMALEK:  I want to see you two married and making babies
\nHollyRandall:  me too haha
\nCARLINO:  HE LAUGHS IN A MANIC WAY
\nUser guest64 entered the room.
\nAMALEK:  Luke,  you know she’s talking about me
\nHollyRandall:  lol
\nAMALEK:  Yes Luke, I am to be Holly’s husband.  All 350 pounds of me
\nYourMoralLeader:  Holly, I want to dance on your grave
\nYourMoralLeader:  I mean at your wedding
\nUser RussianDragon left the room.
\nUser RussianDragon entered the room.
\nCARLINO:  HEY LUCKY
\nAMALEK:  Luke, that’s not a nice way to chat with my future bride.
\nHollyRandall:  lol
\nAMALEK:  I just don’t see why LUke is not married
\nguest64:  it’s the beard
\nCARLINO:  STILL GOT s**t CAMERA TECHNIQUE
\nAMALEK:  He’s had many many many opportunities
\nRussianDragon:  it’s the hovel
\nAMALEK:  Even with the hovel, he’s had opportunities, which is amazing in and of itself
\nHollyRandall:  i think he enjoys his swinging lifestyle
\nAMALEK:  The best thing that could happen to Luke would be if his landlord kicked him out
\nCARLINO:  HE IS TOO UGLY
\nCARLINO:  FOR THE BUSINESS
\nRussianDragon:  so you mean in THE industry
\nRussianDragon:  ?
\nCARLINO:  U KNOW THE SCORE RUSKY
\nguest40:  is he gay
\nAMALEK:  Now Holly, a serious question.  I’m taking notes – how did this man you pine for meet you?
\nCARLINO:  OBVIOUSLY
\nRussianDragon:  he is desperate
\nAMALEK:  I wish to emulate this chap
\nCARLINO:  HE IS A DICK
\nHollyRandall:  um
\nHollyRandall:  i can’t really say
\nHollyRandall:  we met through friends
\nAMALEK:  Oh, you can say sort of
\nCARLINO:  U TAKEN HIS PIC HOLLY?
\nHollyRandall:  take a wild guess, i’m sure you can figure it out
\nHollyRandall:  no
\nAMALEK:  what sort of intersecting social circles are involved?
\nYourMoralLeader:  AA
\nHollyRandall:  f**k you luke
\nRussianDragon:  lol
\nCARLINO:  HE WOULD CRACK THE LENS HONEY
\nAMALEK:  Now wait a minute, is he a screenwriter for THAT sort of movie?
\nCARLINO:  HE IS JUST ANOTHER LA LOSER
\nHollyRandall:  i don’t really want to talk about him
\nAMALEK:  I’m a screenwrite too, you know.  Just ask Luke
\nguest64:  they actually have scripts?
\nCARLINO:  F HIM
\nHollyRandall:  let’s move onto other subjects
\nAMALEK:  But it has yet to get me laid
\nHollyRandall:   like luke blowing his nose
\nAMALEK:  Of course, nothing gets me laid
\nRussianDragon:  do they call such guys screenwriters
\nHollyRandall:  that was really attractive
\nAMALEK:  Not that I would want to get laid.  I am post-sexual
\nCARLINO:  HE AINT GONNA BLOW ANYTHIN ELSE LOL
\nguest64:  no one is post-sexual
\nRussianDragon:  well some people don’t have a choice
\nguest60:      talk to my wife 64
\nCARLINO:  HEY HOLLY
\nYourMoralLeader:  how was your big dinner last night holly?
\nguest64:  hahaha 60
\nCARLINO:  F THIS
\nHollyRandall:  it was really nice
\nUser CARLINO left the room.
\nHollyRandall:  we ate at Ford’s Filling Station
\nAMALEK:  So one fertile female shows us her ova, and instantly she is the belle of the chat room.  Typical internet
\nHollyRandall:  i have pics i’m going to download in a bit
\nYourMoralLeader:  aka the hovel
\nRussianDragon:  so what do you fill people with luke
\nguest64:  beans
\nUser guest62 left the room.
\nRussianDragon:  jewish "yoghurt"
\nAMALEK:  If I walked into a room full of desperate crack whores waiving a roll of benjamins, and if there were a negro hobo in the corner passed out, they would ignore me and make a beeline for him
\nRussianDragon:  ?
\nUser guest40 left the room.
\nAMALEK:  That’s why I am not voting for Barak Hussein Obama
\nAMALEK:  President Obama can only make life harder for the White Man
\nYourMoralLeader:  I feed ’em from my teachings, share some torah with me
\nAMALEK:  who is trying to score with white chickws
\nYourMoralLeader:  move in for the kill
\nAMALEK:  Hillary, on the other hand, empowers women of s certain age, and that can’t be good.
\nAMALEK:  But Old Man McCain is just too damn old and angry.
\nYourMoralLeader:  Let’s talk about refinance:
\nYourMoralLeader:  http:\/\/refinancemortgagenow.net\/blog\/
\nAMALEK:  I love election years because they are the once quadrenial chance I have to sound smart and impress broads
\nRussianDragon:  another pitch
\nYourMoralLeader:  does it work?
\nRussianDragon:  wohoo
\nAMALEK:  No
\nAMALEK:  well, yes, but not
\nRussianDragon:  NO NO NO
\nAMALEK:  I am in a dry spell.
\nguest6:  shabbat shalom rabbi
\nRabbiGadol:  Shalom!
\nYourMoralLeader:  i’m a lil fatigued
\nRabbiGadol:  what is this horrible screacthing sound I hear?
\nRabbiGadol:  It sounds like the bit of the sound track on a Japanese movie when the ghostly demon appears
\nRabbiGadol:  Or when a fiend errupts from the TV
\nRabbiGadol:  Luke, what if, just hear me out, but what if your fatigue proved to be a consequence of your goyishe diet?
\nRabbiGadol:  Not eating chicken, fish etc. is a leftover from your days as a Seventh Day Adventist
\nRabbiGadol:  A real jew eats and enjoys chopped liver
\nUser guest6 left the room.
\nRabbiGadol:  You eat like an anorexic girl.
\nRabbiGadol:  No wonder Holly, who eats robustly and Catholicly, shunned you
\nRabbiGadol:  At the very least, you shoud be eating a bit of herring at kiddush
\nRabbiGadol:  Herring, wine, sweets, bread. 
\nYourMoralLeader:  get thee behind me satan<\/p>\n

RabbiGadol:  This is part of the reason the other rabbenim do not trust you, this adherence to a goyishe diet
\nRabbiGadol:  How can we know that you won’t eat pork if you won’t eat beef, either?
\nRabbiGadol:  Plus, Hitler shunned beef.
\nguest7:  improv at Luke’s
\nguest7:  I like your blackies
\nguest7:  it’s unhealthy to drink from the same plastic – it starts to leak chemicals
\nYourMoralLeader:  pph\\
\nYourMoralLeader:  oh
\nguest7:  i hate foreign languages. what does pph mean?
\nRabbiGadol:  Also, fruit juice is not vegan.  It invariably contains ground up bugs.
\nRabbiGadol:  As does all produce.
\nRabbiGadol:  Luke shuns salmon, but is eating insects.
\nYourMoralLeader:  typo
\nguest7:  vegetarians often have cuts on their hands, I’ve noticed
\nRabbiGadol:  Luke needs to get back to being an author, but of books people will want to read.
\nguest7:  apple would be so pleased to see you now
\nguest7:  Narcissism and how I overcame it, by me me me me and me
\nYourMoralLeader:  yeah
\nRabbiGadol:  Luke knows what I am talking about
\nguest7:  RG, share
\nRabbiGadol:  He knows that on this, as on virtually all of the advice that I have given him over the years, I am right
\nYourMoralLeader:  I keep waiting for a check that never arrives
\nRabbiGadol:  I cannot share this without Luke’s approval. 
\nYourMoralLeader:  you can share
\nRabbiGadol:  "How to Get Laid in LA on $200 a Week"  a title that sells itself
\nguest7:  wouldn’t that amount work anywhere>
\nRabbiGadol:  He would have NO trouble selling this to a real publisher, and it is just the sort of title that gets a fellow on the Stern Show and reviews in the NY Times
\nguest11:  And the moral of the story is not half an egg roll
\nRabbiGadol:  But an amotivational disorder prevents Mr. Ford from acting on my sound and actionable advice.
\nguest7:  I hate H Stern, but why haven’t you been there, Luke?
\nYourMoralLeader:  I bless you good people
\nYourMoralLeader:  he’s anti-torah
\nRabbiGadol:  Because he is LAZY
\nguest7:  you need a publicist, PRONTO
\nYourMoralLeader:  yep
\nRabbiGadol:  Luke is content to wallow in his poverty, even though the All-Mighty has blessed Luke with the tools to vault out of it and thereby help the Juden
\nRabbiGadol:  Luke, you could bang this book out in a month<\/p>\n

guest7:  WITH CHAPTERS LIKE…
\nRabbiGadol:  It would not need many words; it would have lots of photos which his photographer and media friends could readily provide
\nRabbiGadol:  Chapter 1. My Struggles and why I shouldn’t be able to get laid
\nYourMoralLeader:  hmm
\nguest7:  morally laid, of course
\nRabbiGadol:  C’mon, this is so effin easy.  I wish I could hereby convey my disgust – my real, non sarcastic disgust at luke for not doing obvious things to help
\nRabbiGadol:  If I were he, I could write this in a few weekends
\nguest7:  Cathy was good at that
\nRabbiGadol:  after shabbos, of course
\nRabbiGadol:  Yeah, if Cathy were alive today, she might have what it takes to kick him in the pants
\nRabbiGadol:  This self-selected poverty angers me.
\nguest7:  me, too, but then I’m a happy capitalist
\nRabbiGadol:  It is like watching someone with money in his wallet slowly starve to death because he is too lazy to buy food.
\nRabbiGadol:  I mean, oh heck, what is the point
\nRabbiGadol:  That is a nice t-shirt.
\nRabbiGadol:  The beard works.
\nguest7:  the fields are white with harvest, but that might be New Testament, sorry
\nUser guest11 left the room.
\nRabbiGadol:  Do you still hang out with Elliot Stein?
\nYourMoralLeader:  virtually
\nUser RabbiGadol changed their name to BarakHusseinObama.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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