{"id":2227,"date":"2008-02-11T19:22:39","date_gmt":"2008-02-12T03:22:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2227"},"modified":"2008-02-12T08:29:45","modified_gmt":"2008-02-12T16:29:45","slug":"dont-buy-from-me-im-a-whore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=2227","title":{"rendered":"Don’t Buy From Me! I’m A Whore!"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Spinka rebbe has nothing on me!<\/a><\/p>\n

Watch my whiny sweaty videos<\/a> where I try to sell you stuff I don’t know jack about and have to lie through my teeth to get through my copy — ALL WHILE WEARING MY YARMULKE AND TZITZIT AND DISGRACING G-D’s NAME IN FRONT OF THE GOYIM.<\/p>\n

After you see these videos, you’ll be doubly glad you threw me out of your shul.<\/p>\n

Check out these videos<\/a> and see my soul die with each tawdry pitch.<\/p>\n

It’s better than porn!<\/p>\n

Chaim Amalek emails:<\/p>\n

You know what I think of this and related writings.  It is the young who must be educated on what to do, as the oldies (like us) have no palatable options left.<\/p>\n

I just watched your self-flagellation regarding selling things on the web and you are right – you suck at this, and it is painful to watch.  But if it is that distasteful and if you are that desperate, why not try out for a nice brainless job doing something like sorting the mail or working as a door man at a night club?  You would be making more money, get real health insurance, and be able to build a cash reserve against the inevitable rainy day when your van finally bites the dust, you get sick and need serious medical care, or some other bad thing happens to you (like getting old).  A man simply cannot get away with the same assumptions past 40 that he might have at 25, and you are barreling through your forties.  There must be jobs you could do that would pay 30K without impinging too hard on your lifestyle as a Torah sage to the porn stars.<\/p>\n

(I suggest that your next blog theme be "what jobs can I do that I would be willing to do?")<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Spinka rebbe has nothing on me! Watch my whiny sweaty videos where I try to sell you stuff I don’t know jack about and have to lie through my teeth to get through my copy — ALL WHILE WEARING … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2227"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2227\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}