{"id":19435,"date":"2010-05-27T13:21:21","date_gmt":"2010-05-27T21:21:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=19435"},"modified":"2010-05-27T15:03:42","modified_gmt":"2010-05-27T23:03:42","slug":"the-blind-side","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=19435","title":{"rendered":"The Blind Side"},"content":{"rendered":"

I love this movie<\/a>. I identify with its big black protagonist<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Like him, I’ve often felt lost. <\/p>\n

I often walk through the cold without a coat.<\/p>\n

I remember running up to Young Israel of Century City one Shabbos afternoon. It was cold and I didn’t have a coat.<\/p>\n

“We’ll have to get you a coat,” said my friend.<\/p>\n

I could’ve gotten myself a coat but I’m not practical in that way.<\/p>\n

I tend to have a disparaging view of myself and of everyone else. I’m not the type to drape myself in a warm coat on a cold day.<\/p>\n

I’ll never forget something Neil Strauss once said about rock stars: “They have a wild glint in their eye and can mesmerize a crowd. They’re also incapable of doing anything for themselves.”<\/p>\n

That’s me. I’ve certainly got that wild glint.<\/p>\n

The coach in this movie says, “Most kids from bad situations can’t wait to be violent and that comes out on the field.”<\/p>\n

My violence comes out on my blog. I can’t wait to tear someone’s head off, particularly when it is a religious leader abusing his authority. <\/p>\n

I was a pretty lost kid but I liked living at Pacific Union College in the Napa Valley. Then my dad got called to Washington D.C. in late 1979 to defend his controversial theological views<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I thought I was about to get snatched from eighth grade halfway through.<\/p>\n

One Sabbath morning, this kid in my class became friendly for the first time. His mother had asked him to ask me if I wanted to stay with their family to finish eighth grade.<\/p>\n

“No way,” said the kid. “You ask him.”<\/p>\n

He was afraid of my cutting remarks.<\/p>\n

So I was brought back to this family for Sabbath lunch and the mom asked if I’d like to stay with them and I got very excited. I said yes.<\/p>\n

This family kinda adopted me. <\/p>\n

My older siblings are eight to ten years older than me. I’ve basically grown up as an only child. But this family had kids my own age. I got to feel what it was like to be part of a normal family.<\/p>\n

I’m not normal. I’m not good at taking care of myself. I remember driving down to UCLA a month early in 1988. I had no place to stay. I didn’t want to spend money on a hotel. So I lived out of my car for a month and slept in the bushes behind a softball field at UCLA.<\/p>\n

A normal person would’ve made arrangements for a place to sleep. <\/p>\n

When I moved back to Los Angeles in 1994, I lived out of my car for several months. I had a friend at UCLA who was going to invite me to live with him but he found me sloppy and irresponsible. <\/p>\n

I could’ve gotten a job and an apartment, but I preferred to live out of my car and to go to acting classes and auditions.<\/p>\n

I’ve always been convinced that I’ll be a big success one day and would be able to find people who could do a better job of taking care of me than I can do for myself so I can concentrate on what I do best.<\/p>\n

The way people look at the Michael Oher<\/a> character in this movie, that’s how they’ve looked at me.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

I love that scene early in the movie where Sandra Bullock asks Michael Oher why he’s headed for the school gym late at night.<\/p>\n

Michael says, “Because it’s warm.”<\/p>\n

That’s why I like attention — because it’s warm.<\/p>\n

Like Big Mike, I was a lousy student in school. But I was blessed with some teachers who turned me on.<\/p>\n

I was a lousy Jew. But I was blessed with some rabbis who turned me on.<\/p>\n

“Do you have any place to stay tonight?” Sandra asks Mike.<\/p>\n

He nods his head.<\/p>\n

She says, “Don’t you dare lie to me!”<\/p>\n

He shakes his head.<\/p>\n

Then she takes him home and makes him all warm and comfy.<\/p>\n

I loved that.<\/p>\n

Like Michael Oher, I’ve always had the good sense to surround myself with good people, even when I didn’t know how to interact with them.<\/p>\n

I don’t enjoy therapy any more. It used to be my favorite time of the week, but that’s changed.<\/p>\n

I used to charge into therapy eager to regale my therapist with my adventures. I’d say things like, “You wouldn’t believe the blowjob I got last night!” <\/p>\n

I don’t tell so many stories any more. I just find myself spending most of therapy swimming in icky emotional waters. Sticky, oily water, filled with bugs.<\/p>\n

I remember once watching these hot chicks wrestling in jello. That’s what my therapy feels like these days, like I’m wrestling in jello.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I love this movie. I identify with its big black protagonist. Like him, I’ve often felt lost. I often walk through the cold without a coat. I remember running up to Young Israel of Century City one Shabbos afternoon. It … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[22345,22234,5647,29952,20845,22346,30021],"class_list":["post-19435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-blind-side","tag-glint","tag-napa-valley","tag-neil-strauss","tag-sabbath-morning","tag-softball-field","tag-young-israel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19435","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=19435"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19435\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=19435"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=19435"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=19435"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}