There’s no better way to organize yourself socially than by religion. You get to spend most of your time with people who share your values, your rituals and your food.<\/p>\n
Khunrum emails: "Wouldn’t it be more accurate to suggest that it is you sharing their food, you shnoorer you? Unless you’ve been throwing wine and cheese tasting parties at the Hovel."<\/p>\n
Curious writes: "Is bukkake considered a ritual?"<\/p>\n
I’ve found there’s no better place to meet chix than in G-d’s house<\/a>.<\/p>\n Whether it’s church or synagogue or mosque, these are social places where you get to meet a better sort. There’s nothing like shul to see and be seen and to advance your social prospects by connecting with the opposite sex far above you in status.<\/p>\n In a house of G-d, people are simultaneously on their best behavior, less defensive, more open, and more aroused. If you meet a woman who’s been turned on by the prayers, the singing and the rabbi’s sermon, you can leverage that to your own ends.<\/p>\n Houses of worship usually meet at night. That’s the most romantic time of the day. Women look better at night, particularly the ones over 30.<\/p>\n After "Scream and I’ll kill you!", my next most successful pick-up line is, "Where do you go to synagogue?"<\/p>\n Women, even shiksas, think you’re the serious and moral sort when you ask that sort of question and they lower their defenses.<\/p>\n At shul, the amount of money you make seems to matter less, particularly if you are walking to shul on Shabbos.<\/p>\n Poor Jews need love too and kiddish is a great time for me to make that point to the sundry doctors and lawyers in the cholent line.<\/p>\n Friday nights remind otherwise successful single Jewish females that they are alone and they hate that. I have compassion for such ladies and like to be around Makor (until they kicked me out) to give pastorly advice and foot rubs as the need may be.<\/p>\n Women have inexhaustible needs and I am only one frail guy but I do the best I can with the advice Dennis Prager gave me.<\/p>\n After Shabbos, after this period of restriction is over, women often want a ride home and an excuse to bust free. After carefully observing the Almighty’s minute precepts for 25 hours, they want to spend some time taking care of their own needs.<\/p>\n That’s where I come in.<\/p>\n Women love a challenge in addition to a ride home.<\/p>\n "I’m on anti-depressants and can’t get excited anymore," is a common one.<\/p>\n "Then you won’t mind if I…" is my response.<\/p>\n Don’t be intimidated by Orthodox shuls. Single Orthodox females, and not so Orthodox females who venture inside, need love too.<\/p>\n It was the Shabbos that Yitzhock Rabin was assassinated. I was at Aish HaTorah. A lot of people, including this one woman I wanted, were quite happy about the killing.<\/p>\n I put aside my delicate sensibilities and opened my heart wide enough to offer her a ride home.<\/p>\n We stopped by my guest house in Beverly Hills. We hung out.<\/p>\n She gave me that line about antidepressants.<\/p>\n I showed her compassion.<\/p>\n Next thing I knew she was screaming out how much she liked it rough.<\/p>\n In my video, I teach you how to get more bang for the buck with the ladies<\/a>.<\/p>\n In my first year in LA, I lived out of my 1979 Datsun stationwagon yet I got more lovin’ during that time than all the rest of my life put together. It’s not the size of the hovel but the motion of the ocean.<\/p>\n My videos may not be high in technical quality but at least they’re honest and from the heart. I am as much in earnest as a dog humping your leg.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There’s no better way to organize yourself socially than by religion. You get to spend most of your time with people who share your values, your rituals and your food. Khunrum emails: "Wouldn’t it be more accurate to suggest that … Continue reading