{"id":1771,"date":"2007-12-19T18:20:57","date_gmt":"2007-12-20T01:08:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=1771"},"modified":"2007-12-20T00:08:03","modified_gmt":"2007-12-20T06:56:03","slug":"inside-the-mind-of-a-serial-seducer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=1771","title":{"rendered":"Inside the mind of a serial seducer"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/today.msnbc.msn.com\/id\/22161502\/\">From the Today show<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"textBodyBlack\"><em>Great novels were written about them, movies were inspired by them. Call  them anything you want &mdash; Don Juans, Casanovas, or gigolos &mdash; they preyed on  unsuspecting women to get them into the bedroom. But do they still  exist?<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"textBodyBlack\"><em>Meet Paul Janka, a  32-year-old, Harvard-educated writer living (and serially seducing women) in New  York City. Janka says he&#8217;s chalked up over 100 bedroom conquests&#8230;and there&#8217;s  nothing wrong with that. As long as he&#8217;s up front about his intentions, Janka  says, he can love &#8217;em and leave &#8217;em without a guilty conscience.<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"textBodyBlack\"><em>But would you really know what  a guy like Janka was thinking after chatting with him for a few hours, or in  some cases a few minutes?&nbsp; Read about his dating philosophy below and judge for  yourself.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Paul Janka says (his points are good even if you are not pursuing sex but rather something higher):<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>A man needs a goal when  he spends time with a woman:<\/p>\n<p class=\"textBodyBlack\">An analogy: having run a small  business in my twenties, I have experience with meetings during which much is  said, but at the end of which little is accomplished or acted upon. Ten people  may get together in a room, chat for 30 minutes and then disperse. Without  actionable items and measures for accountability, the meeting may as well never  have occurred. The same is true with dating. A stroll through SOHO with a girl,  holding her shopping bag and exchanging pleasantries doesn&rsquo;t advance the couple  and both parties leave with nothing. It&rsquo;s not just the guy who feels blah; the  girl has a weak impression of the date (and the man) in her mind. In my twenties  I spent plenty of &ldquo;dates&rdquo; eating, walking, movie-watching with a girl and then  we&rsquo;d part company with a hug and a peck. What are we both thinking as we walk  away? Because nothing compelling happened, we both leave with some version of,  &ldquo;That was nice. He&rsquo;s a good guy\/girl.&rdquo; If nothing of consequence occurs, the  afternoon <u>is not memorable<\/u>. And a guy pursuing an attractive woman can&rsquo;t  afford to make a mild impression. Not in New York.<\/p>\n<p class=\"textBodyBlack\"><strong><strong>Challenge a woman  immediately to force her out of her comfort zone<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/strong>Just as in  sales, you need to offer a proposition to your prospect. In fact, this is done  on the street in the first 10 seconds when I ask for a telephone number. Shit or  get off the pot, right? I found that unless I force a decision upon the woman, I  learn nothing about her. Is she open-minded, a risk-taker, or closed and  conservative? Can she adjust to new information, or does it confuse her? In my  experience, the real interesting part of dating is the drama that unfolds when  I&rsquo;m unyielding about a position and I get to see how the woman reacts. This is  not as hostile as it sounds; I simply believe that in the chaos of NYC dating,  I&rsquo;ll only get to see a woman&rsquo;s true colors when she has to decide. The rest is  platitudes, pleasantries and bullshit. No one ever reveals themselves by being  polite, is my experience.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><!--adsense--><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From the Today show: Great novels were written about them, movies were inspired by them. Call them anything you want &mdash; Don Juans, Casanovas, or gigolos &mdash; they preyed on unsuspecting women to get them into the bedroom. But do &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=1771\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[210],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1771","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1771","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1771"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1771\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1771"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1771"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1771"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}