{"id":17644,"date":"2010-03-11T18:02:27","date_gmt":"2010-03-12T02:02:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=17644"},"modified":"2010-03-12T09:42:46","modified_gmt":"2010-03-12T17:42:46","slug":"when-the-loss-comes-rolling-in","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=17644","title":{"rendered":"When The Loss Comes Rolling In"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Most of the time, I&#8217;m the happy-go-lucky moral leader you all love and enjoy.<\/p>\n<p>A moral leader for the whole family!<\/p>\n<p>I strike dramatic poses. I say dramatic things. I get into dramatic conflicts. I write out my dramatic feelings.<\/p>\n<p>Oh, it is all such fun. So grand! So childish.<\/p>\n<p>And then the loss comes rolling in. I&#8217;ll be silly on my blog, I&#8217;ll be clowning on my live cam, and then I realize that I am 43, never married, no children, tenuated ties to others, little community. And that feeling of loss keeps expanding until it weighs down my heart and I just feel hollow inside.<\/p>\n<p><object width=\"425\" height=\"344\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/dXNla6Zc0Eg&#038;hl=en_US&#038;fs=1&#038;\"><\/param><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\"><\/param><param name=\"allowscriptaccess\" value=\"always\"><\/param><embed src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/dXNla6Zc0Eg&#038;hl=en_US&#038;fs=1&#038;\" type=\"application\/x-shockwave-flash\" allowscriptaccess=\"always\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" width=\"425\" height=\"344\"><\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Most of the time, I&#8217;m the happy-go-lucky moral leader you all love and enjoy. A moral leader for the whole family! I strike dramatic poses. I say dramatic things. I get into dramatic conflicts. I write out my dramatic feelings. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=17644\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[21646,21645,659,668,21647],"class_list":["post-17644","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-dramatic-conflicts","tag-dramatic-feelings","tag-live-cam","tag-moral-leader","tag-such-fun"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.9 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Most of the time, I&#039;m the happy-go-lucky moral leader you all love and enjoy. 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