I’ve rarely had a relationship where I was not massively contemptuous of my girlfriend or she was not massively contemptuous of me.<\/p>\n
Yet I’ve never had a relationship where we were each contemptuous of the other.<\/p>\n
When I date high-achieving women, I’m usually respectful of them and they’re often contemptuous of me, frequently expressing it through infidelity.<\/p>\n
When I date soft faithful loving girls, I always end up feeling contempt for their lack of timeliness, discipline, achievement, responsibility and social intuition. I think they’re slobs.<\/p>\n
I guess high-achieving women end up feeling contempt for my lack of achievement, responsibility and social intuition. I guess they think I’m a slob.<\/p>\n
I wonder why most of my relationships are shot-filled with contempt and why it always flows in one direction.<\/p>\n
I think this goes back to humiliation. I guess I felt humiliated often as a child and I have a big drive towards humiliating others and a big fear of being humiliated along with a need for feeling humiliated. Oy, I’m so ashamed.<\/p>\n
Shame. That’s a big emotion in this mix. I feel a lot of shame. I sometimes enjoy engendering shame in others.<\/p>\n
Shame. Humiliation. Contempt. These emotions run together for me.<\/p>\n
I sometimes say in my Alexander Technique lessons, “I’ve been a very bad student of the Technique and I need to be punished. Treat me rough.”<\/p>\n
I don’t mean this in a gay way. Just in a manly knock-me-about, I-want-rough-trade kind of way.<\/p>\n
Khunrum emails: “When you feel like this perhaps your Alexander Instructor should grant your “treat me rough” fantasy and make you stand on your head. With proper Alexander Technique posture of course.”<\/p>\n
Bob emails: “He’s begging for the strap-on, right? I mean begging.”<\/p>\n
Khunrum emails: “That’ll make his stand tall. Forget about his other two years of training.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’ve rarely had a relationship where I was not massively contemptuous of my girlfriend or she was not massively contemptuous of me. Yet I’ve never had a relationship where we were each contemptuous of the other. When I date high-achieving … Continue reading