I was born the son of a Christian evangelist with a taste for the psychedelic music of Texas-based rockers Bubble Puppy. My dad tried to instill a sense of discipline in me. Upon catching me stealing spoonfuls of brown sugar from a sack he kept on high shelf, he gave me a vicious rap on the noggin with a garden spade. I awoke to find myself chained in the dunny in back of our house. I could hear a monstrous saltwater crocodile \ufffd Salty, I called him \ufffd thrashing about in the muck below. Above me, I saw the web of a venomous red black spider. At the door, I heard the menacing hiss of a death adder. I was deadly scared, but I knew that I had to go on. I had some blogging to do. Dipping my hand into a pile of my own feces, I began scrawling on the outhouse wall: “I’m Luke Ford … and I’m a blogger, mate!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was born the son of a Christian evangelist with a taste for the psychedelic music of Texas-based rockers Bubble Puppy. My dad tried to instill a sense of discipline in me. Upon catching me stealing spoonfuls of brown sugar … Continue reading