{"id":16225,"date":"2010-01-21T14:32:37","date_gmt":"2010-01-21T22:32:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=16225"},"modified":"2010-07-23T17:05:27","modified_gmt":"2010-07-24T01:05:27","slug":"luke-ford-lost-journal-entry-ii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=16225","title":{"rendered":"Luke Ford Lost Journal Entry II"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was born the son of a Christian evangelist with a taste for the psychedelic music of Texas-based rockers Bubble Puppy. My dad tried to instill a sense of discipline in me. Upon catching me stealing spoonfuls of brown sugar from a sack he kept on high shelf, he gave me a vicious rap on the noggin with a garden spade. I awoke to find myself chained in the dunny in back of our house. I could hear a monstrous saltwater crocodile \ufffd Salty, I called him \ufffd thrashing about in the muck below. Above me, I saw the web of a venomous red black spider. At the door, I heard the menacing hiss of a death adder. I was deadly scared, but I knew that I had to go on. I had some blogging to do. Dipping my hand into a pile of my own feces, I began scrawling on the outhouse wall: “I’m Luke Ford … and I’m a blogger, mate!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was born the son of a Christian evangelist with a taste for the psychedelic music of Texas-based rockers Bubble Puppy. My dad tried to instill a sense of discipline in me. Upon catching me stealing spoonfuls of brown sugar … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[6622,21071,17723,21068,21070,21069],"class_list":["post-16225","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-bubble-puppy","tag-christian-evangelist","tag-garden-spade","tag-outhouse-wall","tag-saltwater-crocodile","tag-vicious-rap"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t