{"id":1617,"date":"2007-12-02T14:05:56","date_gmt":"2007-12-02T20:53:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=1617"},"modified":"2007-12-04T19:29:39","modified_gmt":"2007-12-05T02:17:39","slug":"conspiracy-theorist-has-elaborate-explanation-for-why-hes-single","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=1617","title":{"rendered":"Conspiracy Theorist Has Elaborate Explanation For Why He&#8217;s Single"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/content\/node\/46228\">Report<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>SIOUX FALLS, SD&mdash;In light of a broken engagement two years ago, area school-bus driver and longtime conspiracy enthusiast Robert Ericsson outlined an intricate theory to reporters Tuesday to explain his failure to begin a new relationship.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;I am alone today due to the covert machinations of dozens, possibly hundreds of women in several countries,&quot; Ericsson, 38, said. &quot;What we are looking at is a plot of epic proportions, which may seem counterintuitive, but that is, in fact, precisely what they would like you to believe.&quot;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><!--adsense--><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Report: SIOUX FALLS, SD&mdash;In light of a broken engagement two years ago, area school-bus driver and longtime conspiracy enthusiast Robert Ericsson outlined an intricate theory to reporters Tuesday to explain his failure to begin a new relationship. &quot;I am alone &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=1617\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1617","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1617","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1617"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1617\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1617"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1617"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1617"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}