January 3<\/p>\n
I’ve been having nightmares about the wallaby again, mate.<\/p>\n
When one of those blasted buggers decides to have a go at you, there’s nothing you can do. They’re vicious creatures.<\/p>\n
I stare into the wallaby’s black eyes. I’m deadly scared.<\/p>\n
“I did it all to honk off my Dad!” I cry.<\/p>\n
That’s when the wallaby starts kicking me. Kicking me to bloody pieces. Their back legs are spring-loaded; they’re like bands of steel, mate.<\/p>\n
I squeal and begin to sob: “Nay…nay….”<\/p>\n
My Dad always warned me I’d grow up to be a ponce. Is this my comeuppance for stealing Cocoa Krispies from the homeless and gloating over the sugary treats?<\/p>\n
As the savage marsupial mounts me, I hear the voice of my Dad yelling “Sinkers or floaters today, boy? You’re nothing but a sinker in the bowl of life.”<\/p>\n
I squeal like a girl as I awaken, choking on my protective mouth guard. I’ve got the fear, mate. The wallaby is coming for me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
January 3 I’ve been having nightmares about the wallaby again, mate. When one of those blasted buggers decides to have a go at you, there’s nothing you can do. They’re vicious creatures. I stare into the wallaby’s black eyes. I’m … Continue reading