{"id":12468,"date":"2009-10-30T17:09:56","date_gmt":"2009-10-31T01:09:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=12468"},"modified":"2009-10-30T17:14:47","modified_gmt":"2009-10-31T01:14:47","slug":"seven-minutes-in-the-hovel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=12468","title":{"rendered":"Seven Minutes In The Hovel"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&quot;I want it to be different,&quot; he says. &quot;I don&#8217;t want you to remind me of anything porny. Sex with you is different.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;I am?&quot; she says. &quot;Thanks babe. You like what&#8217;s between my ears too? That&#8217;s love.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;How&#8217;s your piercing?&quot; he asks.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;It&#8217;s sore,&quot; she says.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Where is it?&quot; he asks.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;You&#8217;ll have to find out,&quot; she says. &quot;It&#8217;ll be like a scavenger hunt.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;It will be seven minutes in Heaven,&quot; he says.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;I don&#8217;t know if I&#8217;m that kind of girl now,&quot; she says. &quot;You&#8217;ll probably kiss me kinda hard and surprise me because you don&#8217;t know either how to do this.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Where will we do it?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;In my closet,&quot; he says.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;But you don&#8217;t have a walk-in closet,&quot; she says.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;In yours then,&quot; he says.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;We could do seven minutes in the hovel,&quot; she says. &quot;But it is supposed to be a closet where you are sitting on shoes and it is totally awkward and there coats sitting on your head and it is totally dark and everyone&#8217;s waiting for you to come out. And your hair is messed up and you&#8217;ve got lipstick around your mouth.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;You slut!&quot; he says. &quot;You know how to play this game.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;I&#8217;m sure the rest of your class was playing this,&quot; she says. &quot;I&#8217;m sorry baby. They just didn&#8217;t include you. You can&#8217;t blame me for that.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;I asked people at Alex,&quot; he says, &quot;and they hadn&#8217;t heard of it either.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Every elementary school child knows the game Seven Minutes in Heaven,&quot; she says.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Every slutty elementary school child,&quot; he says.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;That&#8217;s not true,&quot; she says. &quot;I didn&#8217;t go to Ethical Culture and all these other schools where people were giving blowjobs at nine and losing their virginity at eleven.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Oy vey!&quot; he says.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Yeah,&quot; she says. &quot;My friend was at Ethical Culture. She was telling me what they do when they play Doctor. They lick each other at the top of the school on the roof. I was 16 and she was 9. She asked me if I was a virgin. I said yes. She rolled her eyes and said, &#8216;I&#8217;d kill myself if that happened to me.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;You and I started late,&quot; she said. &quot;That&#8217;s why we&#8217;re making up for lost time.&quot;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&quot;I want it to be different,&quot; he says. &quot;I don&#8217;t want you to remind me of anything porny. Sex with you is different.&quot; &quot;I am?&quot; she says. &quot;Thanks babe. You like what&#8217;s between my ears too? That&#8217;s love.&quot; &quot;How&#8217;s your &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=12468\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,28],"tags":[19728,824,15108,5372,19693,6222,1167],"class_list":["post-12468","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","category-sex","tag-ethical-culture","tag-hovel","tag-kind-of-girl","tag-love-quot","tag-minutes-in-heaven","tag-oy-vey","tag-quot-quot"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.10 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"&quot;I want it to be different,&quot; he says. &quot;I don&#039;t want you to remind me of anything porny. Sex with you is different.&quot; &quot;I am?&quot; she says. &quot;Thanks babe. You like what&#039;s between my ears too? That&#039;s love.&quot; &quot;How&#039;s your piercing?&quot; he asks. &quot;It&#039;s sore,&quot; she says. &quot;Where is it?&quot; he asks. &quot;You&#039;ll have to\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"max-image-preview:large\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Luke Ford\"\/>\n\t<meta name=\"google-site-verification\" content=\"HMjuOfLRyzTPB-5Z5FG4BHkfZ1fbEij34rmbKM3BkZ4\" \/>\n\t<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=12468\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"generator\" content=\"All in One SEO (AIOSEO) 4.9.10\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Luke Ford - No sacred cows.\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Seven Minutes In The Hovel - Luke Ford\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&quot;I want it to be different,&quot; he says. &quot;I don&#039;t want you to remind me of anything porny. 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That&#039;s love.&quot; &quot;How&#039;s your piercing?&quot; he asks. &quot;It&#039;s sore,&quot; she says. &quot;Where is it?&quot; he asks. &quot;You&#039;ll have to\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/?p=12468\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/lukesanta.jpg\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:image:secure_url\" content=\"https:\/\/lukeford.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/lukesanta.jpg\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-10-31T01:09:56+00:00\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2009-10-31T01:14:47+00:00\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lukecford\" \/>\n\t\t<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n\t\t<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@lukeford\" \/>\n\t\t<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Seven Minutes In The Hovel - Luke Ford\" \/>\n\t\t<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"&quot;I want it to be different,&quot; he says. &quot;I don&#039;t want you to remind me of anything porny. 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