The Danger Of Dating Someone From A Broken Home

I’ve often said that dating is the one thing that most people get worse at the more they do of it. People typically accumulate layers of defense that make them harder to get to know.

I’m thinking about one thing I’ve learned from dating — the danger of trying to have a relationship with somebody from a broken home. I don’t think I can recall dating anyone from a broken home who wasn’t thoroughly warped. If her dad wasn’t around, wasn’t a dependable source of love and discipline, she’s likely to have contempt and hatred for men.

By contrast, the women I’ve dated from solid homes were solid. They were emotionally grounded. They didn’t have these big dark scary explosions that characterized the women I’ve known from broken homes.

I’m sure there are many sane women out there from broken homes. I’m just not sure I know any.

Women who didn’t grow up with solid loving fathers tend to be promiscuous as they seek the fathering they missed out on as children, and so I’ve been with many of them, and it was fun at first, but then scary as we progressed into relationship and they started to stray. One GF of mine, her father was promiscuous. Had multiple marriages and multiple affairs. And so my GF said to me that she didn’t expect me to stay faithful to her. That blew my mind. We were talking about marriage and living in Orthodox Judaism and she was saying a few months into our relationship that I could stray.

I bet that men who did not grow up with a solid relationship with their mother tend to be shaky in their attempts at relationship.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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