Joy to the World

From my live cam chat:

BernieMadoff:  Joy to the world!
BernieMadoff:  Today we mark the birth of the REAL Moshiach, the One who can and will forgive ALL my sins.
BernieMadoff:  But will the hordes of angry Jews parked out in front of my apartment on Park Avenue take the hint?  I doubt it.
BernieMadoff:  I’m thinking of doing Chinese today.  But I don’t know any Asian women.
BernieMadoff:  Today is a good day for a Jew to get things done.
BernieMadoff:  Jesus forgives my sins.  Why can’t the Jews?
YourMoralLeader:  I forgive you
YourMoralLeader:  on behalf of the Jews
BernieMadoff:  I have had guests of late.
BernieMadoff:  Elliot Spitzer stopped by to give me moral support.
BernieMadoff:  Mind you, I"ve given my fair share of money to the NAACP.
BernieMadoff:  I just wish they had entrusted their money to me
AussieBuds:  AussieBudsdownUnder
BernieMadoff:  Sounds quite, how do they put it?  gay
BernieMadoff:  Not that there is anything wrong with gay
BernieMadoff:  I saw a gay dermatologist the other day to treat my dry skin
BernieMadoff:  He was both efficient and thorough

Joe emails: I had bagels and nova at Mel Gibson’s this morning. So Mel’s opening presents – and Hutton’s bitching about the Jews ruining the weather on Christmas – only to turn to me and say: How’d you know? A first edition of Paul Johnson’s ‘A History of the Jews’! He told me he’s going to read it when he leaves to direct his next picture — Paul Theroux’s ‘Train log to Oscwiem.’